Open Poetry #12 |
Secret Valentine (Challenge by Me) |
Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Your pen paints strokes of color upon my greyscaled heart Flashes of red, green and blue reveal the genius of your art Melancholy will not allow this missive to reach the light But, my dear, I want you to know I’m thinking of you tonight In the hush that remains are words of love unspoken No hearts, no candy, no flowers given here as lover’s token So secrecy will hide the pain and silence will protect my pride But you shall always be in my heart though never by my side |
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© Copyright 2001 Poet deVine - All Rights Reserved | |||
serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I might as well give you, the other half of my heart...you just broke it in half yanno... sharon?...so sadly beautiful... |
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HopeS Member Elite
since 2000-12-22
Posts 4596Perth Western Australia |
Touching and heartfelt !!! Hope |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Melancholy will not allow this missive to reach the light But, my dear, I want you to know I’m thinking of you tonight In the hush that remains are words of love unspoken No hearts, no candy, no flowers given here as lover’s token So secrecy will hide the pain and silence will protect my pride But you shall always be in my heart though never by my side ============================== "In the hush that remains are words of love unspoken" what a beautiful line ... Sharon this is excellent soft spoken poem of longing and love "Melancholy will not allow this missive to reach the light" very cool turn of phrase ...very cool poem very well done ... mind if I keep this Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you ladies! And yes, Janet, you can keep this, thank you for wanting to... |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
So secrecy will hide the pain and silence will protect my pride But you shall always be in my heart though never by my side ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~love these lines....*sigh* wonderful lines.....love it and thanks for the challenge.....it was great doing it.. Charisma |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
PDV I am a suave and sophisticated gentleman and I say whoever this is for is in for it if they ignore it yuh!!! don't tell me you're just actin' You know the "Never Ending Story"? They're still telling it! |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Not acting...it was the challenge to write a poem..for real..but not identify the intended.... |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Very good Sharon...a compelling read... |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
this is beautiful deVine. . . just wonderful. . . it's so full of emotion and heartfelt love. . . it's just amazing. . . ------------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
sigh... I guess I spent so much of my life in longing I can still relate only too clear to this one. Well said, Sharon, if sad. Michael |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Beautiful as always - I know (really know) how you feel For many months now - I have been writing - and 'not identifying' my intended - -(can I help it if she knows? ~G~) Ok - Feb 14 fast approaches - I know I'll write again - soooo - the question remains - does your intended know? - (you don't have to tell) |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
The essence of 'yearning' is so beautifully expressed within your poem challenge response.... My compliments to you PDV on this touching write... ~coco~ |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
He does not know. |
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JLR Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785 |
So sad, so beautifully sad. |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Oh man...it's so nice to see you posting girl, but this one is a real tear jearker. Great writing though |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
PdV... This is one I enjoyed reading, even though it was bittersweet. It has that element of mystery that I love....... ~~~ enjoy yourself ~~~ it's later than you think! [This message has been edited by Sunnyone (edited 02-08-2001).] |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Sharon you did fantabulous with this! It's very well done...just the right touch of everything! |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Perhaps your true Valentine is yet to be revealed to you then... Keep your eyes and your heart open... You never know what might befall when you least expect it... |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you!! This one pretty much wrote itself..I guess real feelings do that to poetry. Ah..Nan, my eyes have been open for some time..my heart, maybe not so open (for protection I guess). Perhaps I'll sharpen my arrows and take archery lessons! |
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Cerenity Member Elite
since 2000-02-16
Posts 2637Escondido-California |
Hi Sharon, Powerful emotions in this one, I can feel it "amazing" also I "sigh" you forsure met the challenge I just wish it could be different. Love, Cerenity "God doesn't have to be reminded that we exist. We have to be reminded that He exist!" (Writer Unknown) |
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Acies
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665Twilight Zone |
I think my heart just fell on the floor. let me go pick it up............. I see no changes, wake up in the morning I ask myself, "Is life worth living or should I blast myself" TUPAC SHAKUR |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Any man in his right mind would love to have this written for him and I say you should at least tell him how you feel. With a heart that aches like this, there has to be something worth looking into and you never know...it might be a mutual secrecy. Lovely write even if it does pour out the pain of longing in it. I too believe that I shall keep it just as JM did. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
But a heart that has been wounded will not open up to hurt again..... |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Can't argue with you there too much other than sometimes the healing could use a kiss or two from a love that is true. |
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Ariana Senior Member
since 2000-10-08
Posts 571Orlando, Florida |
Your words are beautiful and it would be a shame if you did not share them with him. Even a little bit???? Maybe he has been hurt too and has his heart garaged in a hard shell right next door to yours. Think about it - it is never too late to try again. Ariana |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Oh, I am sweet on this poem! "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Excellent, Lady Devine. Maybe he should know. Never by your side? I hope that can't be true for long. You've done a wonderful job on this poem. |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Poet deVine Sometimes the things we want most are the hardest to obtain, but without effort there is no chance. Well done Rich |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Very very lovely Sharon! Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Thank you all again! Gee, this was a big surprise to me..finding out that you like this! |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
No secrecy here... but the sadness has made itself a constant companion. *S* This is beautiful, PDV... worth reading again and again even though it hurts. *S* |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
wow. so soft and lovely, but with this tinge of sadness. Moved me. Great poem. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
oops, sorry Double post, great poem again (and yes, I read it twice ) [This message has been edited by dragonpoe (edited 02-13-2001).] |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Again..thank you! |
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