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Open Poetry #12
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Ultimate Loneliness
| Open Poetry #12 |
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Ultimate Loneliness |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
The stars feed the universe pulsating streams, dark pillars supporting the weight of their beams. The stretch of their span veined in vanishing light; the glint of their timelessness sparking the night. We grovel for meaning, debate the unknown, Our tiny voice whimpering: "Are we alone?" How lost in the vastness, how feeble our call: a fleck in the blanket, a speck on the wall. [This message has been edited by laryalee (edited 02-06-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Laryalee Fraser - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Oh, Laryalee, this is exquisitely written. When you get to the "we", where most people write "I", I was especially touched. So many of us are injured, hurting, and you give us all the dignity of your care and expression. "Our tiny voice whimpering, "are we alone?" Exactly, precisely the feelings I have known. I've been too busy lately to come to Passions, but I'm going to be visiting just to find your work. . The spiritual wind that holds survivors aloft, plants the seeds from which bloom new hope ... R.J.G. |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Lary, Very nice writing. Full of such honesty and feeling. We do seem very small in comparison to the stars and the universe, but in comparison to other things, we are very big. Just depends on how you look at it, but all these things hold a special place in the world and that is what makes it unique. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
My adopted sister once said "is God watching us through a microscope?" and your piece here reminded me of that very thing.... so the question is, is He?.... well done! |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
Rosemary, I am so touched by your reponse....email coming *g* Lone Wolf, thank you - at times I feel very tiny indeed...and awed. Sunshine - that's a lovely picture-thought (have you written a poem on it yet? *g*) Sincere thanks, Lary |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
heartfelt piece....wonderful write. loved it. Charisma |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Seems we are never really alone...we just convince our mind we are....James |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
You've captured that feeling wonderfully in this. Nicely done. Poeminister |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The stars feed the universe pulsating streams, dark pillars supporting the weight of their beams. The stretch of their span veined in vanishing light; the glint of their timelessness sparking the night. =============== this is superb imagery...so much beauty in one lovely verse .. and your cadence was a joy.. excellent writing lary  Where the touch of the lover ends And the soul of the friend begins There's a need to be separate and a need to be one And a struggle neither wins |
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jellybeans Member Elite
since 2000-10-13
Posts 2298 |
can i just ditto jm or is that cheating? lol she always says just what i feel about the poem nice writing |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
excellent topic, well woven in 2 succinct, perfectly metered stanzas.... well done, lary! |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
Charisma - thank you - so glad you enjoyed it.... James - I agree, and I don't really believe we're 'alone'...but the thought certainly occurs! Thanks, Poeminister - I value your comments! Janet Marie, I love how you respond! You uplift and encourage so wonderfully - thank you! Hiya Jellybeans - thanks so much, so nice to have you drop in *g*! Lary |
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Meadowmuse Member Elite
since 1999-12-27
Posts 3263 |
Lary, your poem is a delight. Wisdom, reflection and music in an altogether lovely composition. Thank you. BTW, do we know one another elsewhere? (o: Claire Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant?......Henry David Thoreau |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
A deeply written and precise piece despite it only having eight lines......brilliant write! Nathan |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Larylee, in response to your question, no, I haven't, but it is a good thought....thank you! |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
Hey Doreen - you snuck in while I was replying! Thank you kindly - your comments are appreciated! And thanks, Nate - I appreciate your words too! Omigosh....Meadowmuse! Sent me on a chase, you did...Yo! Imagine running into you here - what a small world! Gotta go visit your website, too! Thanks for the comments - see you around...Here or There, heh heh! Lary [This message has been edited by laryalee (edited 02-12-2001).] |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
Wonderful imagery used to describe such a chilling emotion so filled with questions. I really enjoyed this! sp  everytime I close my eyes, I see your face, I taste you on my lips... every night I fantasize that I can feel you on my fingertips... |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
When you think of how vast the unniverse is and how small we are in comparison, we can feel as if we are alone. Those are the times when I reflect on the fact that it took an awesome God to create it all, and to still love little ole you and me. Never alone, what a thought huh? Love how you create words with imagery. Really good writing. Deb |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
laryalee, this was sad, yet so many times, I guess we at one time or another feel this way, as if we are just a speck on a wall, loved this poem, so few words but very powerful. |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Excellent imagery, very well penned! Extremely sad, it does make one think, but wonderfully expressed. You're beginning to become one of my favourite poets here! Take care, Melissa~ |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
Wonderful poem... excellent writing! *S* |
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