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Open Poetry #12
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Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida

0 posted 2001-02-05 05:57 PM


So, I’m sitting here
consuming my (personal) daily
allowance of sustenance
- a little mound of jello
Fat-free, sugar-free
Only 10 calories
and I can’t help but wonder...
"What on earth IS the nutritional
value of Yellow number 5 and Red
number 3?"

I’m still hungry
Though, for what, I don’t know.
I can rock here, enclosed
by walls, unsubstantial
and actually hear the rain calling me.
It patters on the window
quietly deafening
Challenging me to dare the torrents.

But, I’m tired.
Weary of waking up
each day, and with my little
white
make-up sponge,
smearing on another smile.
No, I’m happy – really.
Stuffed full, to the gills
with the past.
And had I the willpower
I would vomit those memories
Let go of that initial
look of disappointment.

I think that pains me the most
that unforgettable look.

And the rain
that pitter-patter-smack
tells me to chin-up
tells me what a great personality I have.

Somehow, somewhere
watching this glittering
orange surface jiggle
and undulate
my emotional stomach
screams out in double-me-over
cramps
hunger pangs
and somehow
I don’t think jello will suffice


© Copyright 2001 Nicole Williams - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2001-02-05 06:56 PM


I was expecting humor and found a rich, in-depth piece here.  I truly enjoyed it and yes, it was a little humorous!  It had everything.  Thought provoking and insightful read, thank you!

"I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis



Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612
Hurricane Alley
2 posted 2001-02-05 07:09 PM


Excellent poem! I think you hit that nail square on, but don't let the reflection of you in someone's eyes become your goal. The reflection of your heart is more important.
JLR
Senior Member
since 2001-02-04
Posts 1785

3 posted 2001-02-05 07:27 PM


I so relate to where you are.  My mind doesn't see me as the people who love me do.

[This message has been edited by JLR (edited 02-06-2001).]

Celeste
Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597

4 posted 2001-02-05 07:36 PM


EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!   I LOVED this!   Wonderful writing.  I'm saving this.  

To capture and live a moment is truly living


Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
5 posted 2001-02-05 08:33 PM


Wonderfully written piece with a dash of a sense of humor.I like it....brilliant piece!

Nathan

Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
6 posted 2001-02-05 08:51 PM


It has no nutritional or redeeming value.. purely empty calories... for sure..
Elizabeth Cor
Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879
Over the river and through the woods
7 posted 2001-02-05 08:57 PM


Hail Tortilla, Queen, Long Be Your Reign!
(but seriously, lay off the mutant spinach)

Lines that hit me like napalm( ):
~
smearing on another smile.
~
(the whole stanza, really, but this line esp.)

~
my emotional stomach
screams out in double-me-over
cramps
hunger pangs
and somehow
I don’t think jello will suffice
~


BAM! But an acid that saddens, and yes, I know too, too well... you nailed it, what I've felt a million times and have to vomit out in dream-words (because I can't write "real" ... it's all smudged and imageryed). What I still feel over and over
so,*SUPERHEROHUGS*
And, yeah, just so you know to the point of excessive reinforcements, I will ALWAYS be honest.

p.s. CHEESE! ROTFL!

Nicole
Senior Member
since 1999-06-23
Posts 1835
Florida
8 posted 2001-02-06 01:14 AM


Kathleen, you are a dear - thank you for such a thoughtful reply.

Sharon, are you EVER wrong?     *sigh* thought not.

JLR, I just don't know what to say.  That's terrible.  Thank you very much for taking the time to reply.  I think there's a little bit in us all, that doesn't see the reflection in the mirror (internal, as well) for what it is.

dreamkeeper, thank you

ND, I don't know about brilliant, but thank you non-the-less!  

Nan, That's exactly what my stomach said!

Beth!     See what it did?  Too much spinach can ruin a complexion!  (my torilla is so soft, though)  *Superherohugs* right backatcha.  Me crime-fighting fellowette!


Acies
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-07
Posts 7665
Twilight Zone
9 posted 2001-03-28 06:08 PM


"Weary of waking up
each day, and with my little
white
make-up sponge,
smearing on another smile.
No, I’m happy – really.
Stuffed full, to the gills
with the past."

WOW!!!
I don't know what to say, but I'm glad to have read this
~*applauds*~

"So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this give life to thee." W.S.

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