Open Poetry #12 |
Gone Fishing |
Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Gone Fishing The sky was the color of loving eyes and the water sparked with light like laughter and reflected in the misty green the brown scraggle of waist high bramble was soft and gently swaying I sat down in the damp earth waiting my pole in hand a pretense for just being still while nature spoke A honey bee on yellow flower of mustard green hovered close and buzzed from one to other and the breeze caught some lake froth and slapped it next the dry and broken stems and like percussion softly kept the time of twirl of earth and even as my eyes were caught up in the swirl of weeded depth a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings against the glass of calm and sent ripples for me to open before I could again find tranquil graceful dance of moving lake weed And so the dapple left the cliffs and eased behind the rim of hill and one lone frog clicked forth a verse and became the leader of them all as from across the lake they spoke and down the ridge and filled the air of slowly ebbing day with song and the dove’s soft call fell down around as a cool breath came from o’er the ridge and within the pool reflections stilled the water listening quiet gave the silver slither right to pass and leave me with this serenade |
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© Copyright 2001 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Martie, this is really beautiful, you have painted a beautiful picture, one which I would love to be in ok this line ... "hovered close and buzzed from one to other" I just stumbled at the word "other" is it supposed to be as you have it or is it meant to be "another"? and this line...."and slapped it next the dry and broken stems" is there supposed to be a "to" between "next" and "the"? Well Martie I loved your poem, such a serene picture my favourite lines .... "The sky was the color of loving eyes and the water sparked with light like laughter" "and like percussion softly kept the time of twirl of earth" "a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings against the glass of calm" Beautiful as always Martie Maree |
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laryalee Member
since 2000-06-19
Posts 352Alberta, Canada |
What an atmosphere! You've captured the essence of tranquility in a pocket of nature. How I would love the chance to sit there...but this is the next best thing! Thank you! Lary |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Just love being Martienized....this is wonderful! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ And with this beautiful setting... 'And so the dapple left the cliffs and eased behind the rim of hill and one lone frog clicked forth a verse and became the leader of them all as from across the lake they spoke and down the ridge and filled the air of slowly ebbing day with song' ...who would even care if ya' caught any fish or not ! Lovely, lovely ... LOVELY ! *Big hugs* ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The sky was the color of loving eyes and the water sparked with light like laughter and reflected in the misty green the brown scraggle of waist high bramble was soft and gently swaying ===================== A honey bee on yellow flower of mustard green hovered close and buzzed from one to other and the breeze caught some lake froth and slapped it next the dry and broken stems and like percussion softly kept the time of twirl of earth and even as my eyes were caught up in the swirl of weeded depth a duck of vibrant green flapped its wings against the glass of calm and sent ripples for me to open before I could again find tranquil graceful dance of moving lake weed ==================== and the dove’s soft call fell down around as a cool breath came from o’er the ridge and within the pool reflections stilled the water listening quiet gave the silver slither right to pass and leave me with this serenade ================== and now ... we too ... have "gone fishing"... and we didnt even have to bait our own hooks and now I must go find me sunglasses ... for I am on IMAGERY OVERLOAD!! Could you have put one more single detail or image in here and the whole thread not explode into rainbow confetti???? I THINK NOT way...way KEWL my poet of vision... so..did ya catch me a fillet o fish sandwich?lol Tomorrow holds only mystery And who's to say what might be But in you I've found a love so strong The sun and the moon look on in jealousy ~VH~ |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
wow your visuals in just a few words take up oodles of my pathetic poems woohoo awesome work |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
A lovely serenade, Martie!! I think I'll go fishing too!! |
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Elizabeth Cor Senior Member
since 2000-10-13
Posts 879Over the river and through the woods |
Martie, your writing fascinates me because a single line doesn’t stick to the reader… the whole verse sings… and that is a rare, rare gift to have: power through entirety. This makes me sooooooo homesick, I want my pond, and my pole, and my hammock, and my giant porch made out of tree trunks... and lightening bugs.. OH! I MISS them! I want the sunset on the water and the skeeters in my ear and the cows grazing by the blackberry bushes. Oh geesh, gave away my secret, I'm a rancher's daughter at heart ... (well maybe walt knew that, along with various, other, more criminal secrets ). *sigh* Martie. I love reading you. ~Beth |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
As always, your imagery is full of color and life, reminding us of a world waiting to be appreciated. Corinne |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Maree--Thank you so much, hon, for giving me such a wonderful reply. You are right about the English...(blush), and I wish you had been here too, next time you're in town...okay? Promise? lary--thank you so much for being there in the poem...that was what I hoped for. Karilea--Shall I send you a bottle?.. Marge--I didn't catch anything, but Taylor did...we had lovely fresh bass for dinner. Janet--Overload...oh no...I hope not...I've been trying to cut down, honest...but this poem is about not fishing...so what was I to do. We ate all the fish...how about next time? Walt--Your poetry is not pathetic...far from it...and mine is maybe too much...maybe you can help me fine the middle. Denise--The weather here has been so beautiful...80 degrees...just like spring...come on over. Elizabeth--You reply really made me smile...thank you so much for saying such nice things! Corinne--and you always do...your poetry tells me so. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I'm with Marge on this one (happensd a lot lately ) such a lovely scene - I'd be content to be there - Pole or no Pole |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
What a beautiful place you have taken me to this cold, snowy afternoon Martie. I am just in awe of your wonderful poetry. Bonnie |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Serenade on my friend. This was outstanding from the word go (or would that Gone from your title) I am sorry it took so long for me to reply but cowboy has been a bit tied up these days. In any case, I would gladly go fishing with you any day to not catch fish but just sit and listen and learn. If you find yourself stranded in a storm ...then reach for my hand and we will play in the puddles together |
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