Open Poetry #12 |
Human Condition (thanks doreen) |
Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
No Title ***need suggestions for a title. all help is greatly appreciated. that's if you can decipher among my babble here. thanks much... ~amy~ Have the feelings in my heart Changed so much that I no longer recognize myself Are memories just that simply memories? Photographs in time taken long ago that now are forgotten What of the hope and light That glimmers in the darkness of me Little voice urging me to speak the truth To reconcile things and make it right The other voice saying no And to leave things as are Or I'll just end up with shattered glass What once use to be my soul Why is it when I stay up late at night Lying in bed thinking over everything That things make perfect sense Until inevitably the sun rises for a new day Then things are back to square one The confusion is so thick Unsettling in my mind and body Playing tricks on me, ones so cruel Seems colder lately at night I try to sleep with the lights on The darkness though just won't go away Penetrating through ever ounce of hope I have left Tears stream down my face One after another As though in a race To see who will come in first Heart torn into two Love of my life, and yet things don't feel right Feels as though I've been tossed out to sea Being told either sink or "swim" Seems I've forgotten how to swim Now what do I do As I try to doggy paddle to shore Knowing I'll never make it...it's too far away So I float on my back Drifting along, I must have fallen asleep When I awake sun shining in my eyes I sit up and on sandy shore I lay How? Amy M. Kennedy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." [This message has been edited by Aimster (edited 02-05-2001).] |
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© Copyright 2001 Amy Kennedy - All Rights Reserved | |||
Jill Member
since 2001-02-02
Posts 62Louisiana |
Amy - I don't have a suggestion for a title yet....I plan to read this one again and again though....I loved it....did you taken these words from my heart? |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
amy- how about, "Voices & Visions in the Shattered Glass" ...just an idea.... a painful & powerful piece here, amy, demonstrating many feelings we all have in common... definitely a Human Condition poem hey... you could just call it that... "Human Condition"??? |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
What about "swimming through photographs"?? In any case. . . I've got to go with doreen on this one. . . there are a lot of feelings and emotions here. . . well done. . . ------------------------------------------------------ To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
How about "The Voice in the Memory" "I walked beside the evening sea and dreamed a dream that could not be." George William Curtis |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Amy dear heart, firstly as always this is utterly absolutely wonderful. A real treasure you have written here. The truth is you are such a brilliant writer that I'm constantly stunned by the brilliance that you write. You do have such a gift. The title, I can only think of three 1 Mirror Of Mist 2 Out Of My Heart 2 Voice Of Turmoil I don't know if any of those will help. But whatever you call it, it is utterly wonderful. Take care love as always Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Thank you all for your wonderful replies and suggestions. now the problem is choosing...all of the titles are wonderful. i think i'll go with human condition...thanks doreen...sven and mushy, you two are the best love ya both bunches...kathleen so glad you liked, as always its wonderful to get a post from you take care amy "A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
'Seems I've forgotten how to swim Now what do I do As I try to doggy paddle to shore Knowing I'll never make it...it's too far away So I float on my back Drifting along, I must have fallen asleep When I awake sun shining in my eyes I sit up and on sandy shore I lay How?' Aims, I know this is an awful situation, but you have penned this beautifully here...and you chose a wonderful title, too. You will make it, my dear friend...I know you...there's nothing that will stop you, you optimist, you! That, and I won't let you give up, anywho! Love ya, girlie!! -e ~~~~~~24/7/365(366) ...if I ride these dreams to the Irish Sea, oh, even there, I know your heart rides with me... |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
Amy, you have written beautifully of mixed emotions, and since most people do experience this, I think you chose a great title. I could feel the conflict inside you, and though I don't know what the situation is, I can sympathize. Very well done. To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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Trew Member
since 2000-06-10
Posts 365Ottawa, Canada |
I love how you build the sense of confusion to the point of defeat. And the ending capped it off wonderfully! I must agree that what you describe is one of the true human conditions. Trev. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
AMY, Your poem is absolutely beautiful and my heart gives ya a big hug sweetie... Luv ya PoetBuddy Coco You get a lot more lesson mileage when you lose in some situations than always win... |
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