»
Archives
»
Open Poetry #12
»
A Saunter into Past
| Open Poetry #12 |
|
A Saunter into Past |
|
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair 
|
Not as good as the stuff I've been reading in this forum, but im still young  A Saunter into Past: Walking through planks of wilderness, Reflections of you arise. Whether in rivers, brooks or waterfalls, Wonderment drips from my eyes. When you howl into the muted night, I hear winds of sorrowful cries. Winking stars show me it’ll be alright, Even when the joy in my soul dies. Whistling storms of your words comfort, Though you placed upon a disguise. Withered skin is eaten up so relentlessly, As I accept all our broken ties. Wish we could convert back to what we had, So I can exhale these weeping sighs. -Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
||
| © Copyright 2001 Jeremy Daniel Raulinaitis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Krawdad Member Elite
since 2001-01-03
Posts 2597 |
"reflections of you arise . . . so I can exhale these weeping sighs" the two lines that capture it all thanks for sharing the memory |
||
|
Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
Jeremy, beautiful also I love last line, it really captures the essence of the poem. |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
No problem. Thank you for your reply. I'm not quite sure this is my greatest poem but I figured Id share it anyways. -Jeremy Raulinaitis "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
||
|
Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Jeremy~You're being too hard on yourself, this was well expressed, so full of longing and loss, but also full of love! It's a univeral theme, many will relate! Take care, Melissa~ |
||
|
Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
When you howl into the muted night, I hear winds of sorrowful cries. Winking stars show me it’ll be alright, Even when the joy in my soul dies. Whistling storms of your words comfort, Though you placed upon a disguise. ================= welcome to Open Jeremy ... this is a very cool write... your rhyme and cadence rock .... and your imagery in this dark beauty is excellent ... the melancholy, haunted feel of it is part of its coolness... trust me...this work stand up to anything in here tonite... dont doubt it...:D If my slight Muse do please these curious days ... The pain be mine ... but thine shall be the praise. ~Shakespeare~ |
||
|
jeremydraul Senior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 1118State of Despair |
wow thanks to everyone for being so supportive it really means a lot to me that you take my work seriously thanks again -Jeremy "I believe that man will not merely endure: he will prevail. -William Faulkner (Noble Prize Speech.) |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
