Open Poetry #11 |
Read Me in a Song |
wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I hope you don’t come to know Until you’ve read me in a song The passion in the poetry I couldn’t think they’d get it wrong Spilling me on the sacred page With your lyrical designs Ignoring meter and whitening space Don’t you read between the lines I am the words that dance your tongue Find me alive within your pen The wistful frightening birth of young May they mature in the hearts of men Go to sleep and dream free verse A nightmare should not be found If two of me should rhyme what’s worse You never woke to write them down Words are the gathered phrases That should be shared from in the heart Shackled imprisoned and whipped There’s still wisdom to impart The greatest thing I think of words When my pockets bare empty My words lest freedom cease to ring I can share; the price is free! |
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© Copyright 2000 Walt Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Walt, you share quite well, and I sparkled in every word written...we are on the same page... thank you...! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Way, Well written, a great poem. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Walt this is a great one!! I really loved it elmucho man...it's very well written and I can't find those words to turn them into phrases like you're writing...take care... ethome. |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Walt...it stems from a dream...and that's where I often find material too... I love the madness of FV...the non-conformity. 'Spilling me on the sacred page With your lyrical designs Ignoring meter and whitening space Don’t you read between the lines' wonderful verse... All in all, an excellent write here my friend... K Keep going on this roll ok? < !signature--> The wind shifts like this: Like a human without illusions... This is how the wind shifts: Like a human, heavy and heavy, Who does not care. W.S [This message has been edited by Severn (edited 11-18-2000).] |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Walt, sparkling write. And if I read between the lines correctly it is a song of you. Write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
thank you all yuh yuh severn you know its a dream i need some kindas hook up to the brain so it could record all the shakespear i am just conveniently too far gone to get up and pen |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
"I am the words that dance your tongue Find me alive within your pen The wistful frightening birth of young May they mature in the hearts of men" Okay, found you This is such a good one. The only thing I would suggest would be to check your tenses and point of view. A very strong write ~ love the personification and the posture. Rainy |
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Rhiannon Member
since 1999-07-28
Posts 95Fayetteville, TN USA |
I loved this. It just flowed so well....I am in awe love, leslie The night is my companion The solitude my guide Would I spend forever here And not be satisfied? Sarah MacLachlan, "Possession" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I am the words that dance your tongue Find me alive within your pen The wistful frightening birth of young May they mature in the hearts of men Go to sleep and dream free verse A nightmare should not be found If two of me should rhyme what’s worse You never woke to write them down Words are the gathered phrases That should be shared from in the heart Shackled imprisoned and whipped There’s still wisdom to impart ================= Walt this is awesome... this is so cool ... all the different aspects of poetry and music spun into a dream excellent writing poet sir..indeed take care jm |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Did your wife hide all the candy from you??? As of late there is such a tender side to your poetry...I enjoy all the sides of your poetry...no one side more than another because they are all part of the poet's soul that lives in you. Beautiful writing my friend~ You cannot dance in the sun until you have cried in the rain~ |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful writing, Walt...enjoyed this one lots! |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
"Spilling me on the sacred page With your lyrical designs Ignoring meter and whitening space Don’t you read between the lines" Hey Walt i didn't find the "worst poem I ever wrote" but instead i found this ...wow. And the stanza above is ... .. well...it's damn good walt... Philip (edit) lol..just seen what LK wrote ...well there ya go, worrying isn't it? - even beginning to think like her ..heh heh [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 11-20-2000).] |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
...and sing some poetry Everything is better when it's shared.. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Oh I just get giggles when I see happy readers thank you all! |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Walt~ I like this ! 'I hope you don’t come to know Until you’ve read me in a song' And now I sing you ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Great words of wisdom and truth you speak here, my newly elected moderator buddy! You're quite the poet you are and I love reading ya! *Krista Knutson* "One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar." Helen Keller |
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Skyfyre Senior Member
since 1999-08-15
Posts 1906Sitting in Michael's Lap |
... --Linda Remember: maintaining a positive attitude may not solve all your problems, but it will certainly annoy enough people to make it worth the effort. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
marge krista and woohoo linda thanky!! |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Walt, Metered verse or not I'm glad you done forgot then remembered just in time to write this lovely flowing rhyme Write on yuh yuh Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
I am the words that dance your tongue Find me alive within your pen The wistful frightening birth of young May they mature in the hearts of men ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~Great lines....love the whole poem, it was a pleasure to read this wonderful piece. thanks for sharing. Charisma |
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