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Open Poetry #11
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The Tale Of The Troubled Troubadour ( Paula, here he comes,)
| Open Poetry #11 |
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The Tale Of The Troubled Troubadour ( Paula, here he comes,) |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England 
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The Tale Of The Troubled Troubadour This is a tale that has blood guts and some gore So if you're a sensitive soul don't read any more Just click your back icon and exit from the page Then you won't be telling me that this is an outrage But if you're in mind for a tale that's not sweet That tells the tale about what witches will eat Then this is the tale that is a real must for you And every word in it isn't, can't possibly be true It concerns an area of the forest, a wretched spot It's dark and it's spooky a most unwholesome plot Therein lives a witch, she's a wicked, evil old hag She's so awful she even carries a real sealskin bag She's the villain so it's okay to boo and even hiss It'll take more to change her than a prince's kiss If she's the villain and it's clear that's what she is We now need a hero someone to do the right biz So who's the hero, we're seeking one daring dude Someone of refinement we don't want him to be rude But we will take whoever shows himself to us first Oh s*** look who has just from that forest burst It's that troubled troubadour, him that sings off key I'd rather have anyone else, or anyone, quite frankly Still I surppose that with him we've now been stuck Oh! That's terrific, and it's just like my bad luck So now we need someone to be saved, just in time A lovely maiden would do, she'd suit us just fine Unfortunately they've all been told to stay away There's only one family lurking around here today They are the Cooks and they live just over there Yes I know they look a little odd, just don't stare Ah! Yes you're looking at Pa Cooks strange hump Or are you staring at grandma's odd wooden stump? But it's not their fault they are all very odd indeed It's because they're so many and cost a lot to feed Pa Cook hasn't worked for over ten years I think He told someone his alarm clock was on the blink Ma Cook has had twelve children in all that time Someone really ought to tell her to draw the line Grandma does a nice line in clothes pegs I hear And whenever the moon's full some strange wolves appear So the story can start because we have all we need We don't require any more, that would just be greed I haven't told you that troubadour's name have I Okay I suppose you need his name to cheer, Oh my! Not that I'm expecting much action from this chap He can barely say hello and please, please don't clap If he hears applause he'll start his routine for sure I've heard it once already and it's incredibly poor Ma Cook had ordered Pa Cook to find any old work Around this spooky dark forest she didn't want to lurk So she sent him out to seek something he could do And don't come back and tell me they all said shoo Just down the lane was the wicked witch's abode I'll ask here, Pa said, hoping he wouldn't become a toad Still if she does I wouldn't have to worry about it all And no more noisy kids running riot in the ruddy hall So he knocked very loudly on the wicked witch's door And she seeing him said, Oy what did you do that for? I need a job missus he said with a rather sheepish grin You do? She said, well then you'd better come on in No sooner had he stepped through that witch's door Than she'd given him a whack and he was no more She set straight to work on him with a knife and fork I've been told he tasted like a very fine piece of pork Meanwhile Ma Cook is worried now that Pa's not here So she sends the oldest son to see if Pa will reappear When several hours later she's lost several of her sons She sends her girls off and they too vanish one by one Finally the stupid woman is down to her very last three When the troubled troubadour appears looking for a key He's so dim he makes the village idiot look quite good He's so dense that he could honestly be made of oak wood Anyway he's here now so let's move from this spot Right now is not a very good point in the narrative plot Ma Cook begged him to find her missing kith and kin And invites the troubled troubadour to come right in After she explained the plot to him several hundred times He says that he will go and track down the errant Pa Oh yes he'll find them and he won't have to go far I've still not told you the name of this sad hapless hero He's actually called Nabroth and he's more of a zero So off he goes to search for all the missing family Cook He blunders along until he comes to the little brook Finally finding the witch's cottage he just strolls on in And finds all the Cooks, except Pa, sitting there within He ushers them out into the rather weak sunshine And takes them back home to prove they're all fine Ma Cook is delighted that all the children are free Okay Pa's not there but the rest are safe she can see Nabroth sits down to eat and all the Cooks serve him He's not used to this fuss no one has ever spoilt him Ma Cook orders the kids finally to get out of her way So she can serve Nabroth the food he's earned today Why mum, look I only want to change this old cloth Just get says mum, because too many Cooks spoil Nabroth Marsha  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning [This message has been edited by Marsha (edited 12-02-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Marsha Grace Melody Todd - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Um, Marsha? I really waited for the punch line this time, I did, I did...and now it's BTTT so Paula shall see it as it is for her... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
:P:P:P:P......Marsha Marsha Marsha....where do you find these pitiful men? OMG lady this is just too too funny...maybe we should put two of our guys together...LMAO just think what a tale that would be....HAHAHHA...this is just great sweet lady...Im really loving this Ignore those who would clip your wings...fly ever upward...even if it means scorched wings |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Kari love, so what's wrong with the punch line Too Many Cooks Spoil The Broth? Didn't it make you smile.  It did me, but then you know how easily amused I am love. Thanks love and you know I appreciate it don't you. Take care Majestic Marsha  Paula, we could you know, you could write the romance and I could add the comic touches. Don't you enjoy this, it really is fun, I know I enjoy writing these, because I've got a very odd sense of humour. And I'm pleased they make you smile, they are written with giggles in mind. Take care love Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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Ladycat
since 1999-07-05
Posts 782At the edge and a doorway,TX |
alright this piece had me on the floor rolling around laughing my butt off. I give this was the greatest. You get coolness points for this one. I have to share this with all of my friends. Halfway through I wasn't worried about the punchline anymore. Thanks so much. You have made me day. Now people are going to wonder about me more. Love, Lady Live in my world just once and you'll find yourself enraptured. |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Ladycat, this is just a thing Paula started me off on, only I couldn't get my knights to do anything romantic. So we have a deal she does the romantic knight nights, and I do the comic knight nights. So if you want a giggle then there are a few in here, but if you want luve then it's Paulas'. We are thinking of doing a mix of the two, but we'll have to see. I'm so pleased it had you laughing, it did me too. Take care Mushy Marsha Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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