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SpitFire
Member Elite

since 2000-04-19

Posts 2396

0 posted 2000-11-30 10:01 PM

Twisted In Crimson

Finding myself twisted,
in crimson,
careening down streets,
narrow,
lined in money,
in frost encrusted rows,
sketching time in the sky,
over,...and again,
escaping the mornings peek,
she's such a sneak like that,
and the fire in the kitchen,
was all my fault,
I should have slowed down,
or stopped for coffee and sang,
it wasn't right to tease the devil,
it wasn't night enough,
and when I saw the bruises crawling,
I couldn't decipher the signs,
but they were green and we were there,
and I just find myself alone for you
when I play like that,
and it's extreme this game,
then crashing,...it's alone.

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2000-12-01 05:37 AM

Love the title and the loneliness at the conclusion... "and when I saw the bruises crawling....I couldn't decipher the signs... but they were green and we were there...and I just find myself alone for you" yep great dreamers poem ... I think there are many who have reflected that way....good writing!!

Janet Marie
Member Laureate

since 2000-01-22

Posts 18554

2 posted 2000-12-01 08:48 AM

I should have slowed down,
or stopped for coffee and sang,
it wasn't right to tease the devil,
it wasn't night enough,
and when I saw the bruises crawling,
I couldn't decipher the signs,
but they were green and we were there,
and I just find myself alone for you
when I play like that,
and it's extreme this game,
then crashing,...it's alone.
================
when ever I read your work..two thoughts always come to mind...
first how cool your poems and titles always are...
and second..how very unique and personal your poetry always is...
never cliche', never emoted with overused poetic words or phrases ...
you write with a very individual signature style ...no poetic fences ...
excellent work here Spit...
jm

Sprayed across my heart and hers
Danced butterflies in the wild
This angel, this woman ,
who loves me with the innocence of a child.
~DeVante~

Kethry
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-29

Posts 9082
Victoria Australia

3 posted 2000-12-01 08:54 AM

'Fire,
as a fencer I'd say you've drawn first blood here, This is such a cool, powerful and heartwrenching write.
I could particularly relate to this line -and when I saw the bruises crawling,

Write on
Kethry

Could a greater miracle take place than for us to look through each other's eyes for an instant - Thoreau

Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean

since 1999-07-07

Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

4 posted 2000-12-01 09:56 AM

SpitFire,
Agree with JM. Some wonderful lines and a wonderful poem.

catalinamoon

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-03

Posts 9543
The Shores of Alone

5 posted 2000-12-01 09:16 PM

Hi friend, sorry to read this, as it sounds like a bad day kind of feeling. Hope you are ok. Your images and thoughts as always are outstanding. I just hope you aren't feeling bad.
Sandra

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