navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Burned From the Sky
Open Poetry #11
Post A Reply Post New Topic Burned From the Sky Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-11-29 12:45 PM



I can remember when I was born.
You looked so nice that summer day.
The glow in your cheeks showed,
what I thought would never go away.

Then I lost the smile that
had reflected in your eyes.
The light was gone.
The stars fell from the skies.

Now I know what it means to forget.
I know the untainted truth in life.
I have lived unavoidable the hardships.
I too once swam in the tides of strife.

Like a rag doll laid out for charity
all I had once loved had turned.
And just like the velveteen rabbit
My untold fate had been burned.

Burn baby burn.  Ashes of yesterday
float their way to heaven on  lies.
Burn baby burn.  Just like when
the stars fell from the skies.




[This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 11-29-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 wes wiggins - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2000-11-29 12:48 PM


It does feel like a burn when there is loss, just like you've described.

What is that you express in your eyes? It seems to me more than all the words I have read in my life.

Walt Whitman



SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
2 posted 2000-11-29 01:18 PM


Effigy~ this is very sad.......and very well written.   -SEA
Effigy
Member
since 2000-04-11
Posts 486
disbelief
3 posted 2000-11-29 08:25 PM


Thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed.
Charisma
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906
lost in blue pages
4 posted 2000-11-30 05:03 PM


heartfelt poem.
great imagery...

((hugs)
Charisma

vandana
Deputy Moderator 5 Tours
Member Patricius
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463
USA
5 posted 2000-11-30 06:02 PM


Enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!
forne_marin
Member
since 2004-04-13
Posts 140
Spartanburg, South Carolina
6 posted 2004-05-07 09:45 AM


Blah blah blah. You can do better.

I believe the most important component of a poem is rhythm. Rhythm is the heartbeat of a poem. It is what makes poetry poetry.

Post A Reply Post New Topic ⇧ top of page ⇧ Go to Previous / Newer Topic Back to Topic List Go to Next / Older Topic
All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format.
navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Burned From the Sky

Passions in Poetry | pipTalk Home Page | Main Poetry Forums | 100 Best Poems

How to Join | Member's Area / Help | Private Library | Search | Contact Us | Login
Discussion | Tech Talk | Archives | Sanctuary