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Open Poetry #11
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One Year
| Open Poetry #11 |
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One Year |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
It's hard to imagine Life One year from now, How inevitably different Things will be. The winds of change Will continue to blow, And I will travel Many new paths. But, as I walk down Each unexplored route, I'm hoping that My journey Will still lead me back To your door. May the tune of our song Drown out the monotone Of days passing by And nights slipping away. I'm counting on A lot of things to change, But one thing's for certain: I'll always look In your direction In the midst Of the swirling chaos. I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me... |
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| © Copyright 2000 snowpants - All Rights Reserved | |||
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aurora rain Member
since 2000-11-15
Posts 90 |
nice meaning to it, i must say. left me feeling haunted towards the end. might i also suggest your lengthening the line-breaks? the shortness (at the beginning especially) is a bit awkward. (i know this isn't the forum to critically analyse....but...  ) |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Snowpants, My first read for the day, and what a special one. You are brilliant. I feel though you are a little down and need some comfort. If I may offer BIG BIG hugs to you, I am certain you will be much better. Cheers. "I'm hoping that My journey Will still lead me back To your door". Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Beautifully done. So real. So honest. I applaud. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
kris- i feel this is one of your stronger pieces. that said, i know you know that i like it  great job eeksters!excellent write. take care. ~amy~ |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
You have woven another masterpiece for us all....some roads are longer and wind around more than others...but all roads eventually lead us home Did I say I love it??? I love it!!!! Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
You wrote t his very well, snowpants, I, too, think it one of your better works. Well Done! jwesley |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
snowpants, A little time and some space may do wonders for you. I hope that things turn out for the best for you. This was nice writing. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Roniece Dawson-Bruce Member Ascendant
since 2000-01-29
Posts 5689Sydney, Australia |
Snowpants: I enjoyed this - thanks for the read Roniece |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
This was awesome, and I have places I can apply it in my life. I love the ending!  |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
aurora rain: thanks Daniel: thank you, my friend, for the wonderful hugs. Much needed and much appreciated!  dreamkeeper: thank you for the applause! glad you like it! aims: hey girl. thanks, I needed to hear that. you are a great friend! love ya! -e pepper: aww. too sweet you are. Thanks! jwesley: thank you, my friend! glad you liked it! LW: thanks! you may be right! Roniece: oh, anytime! thank you! Temptress: that's great to hear! glad you enjoyed!! sp I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me... |
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