2 Haikus ( inspired by Beki's post)

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Open Poetry #11

2 Haikus ( inspired by Beki's post)

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

0 posted 2000-11-23 11:42 AM

These where inspired by Beki's interesting and informative post on the form and structure of Haiku.
I decided to try a 4,5,4 format. Thank you Beki, your guidance is much appreciated.

Full Circle.

Feather floats on air,
Carried by winds breath,
Wafts into nest.

Gems

Droplets bend light,
Globular rainbows,
Natures jewels.

Olias.

[This message has been edited by OLIAS (edited 11-23-2000).]

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

1 posted 2000-11-23 11:47 AM

very nice...i esp loved the first one...can imagine a young birddie being startled by the feather...just my imagination

Tony Abbot
Member

since 2000-11-18

Posts 209
North Wales,UK

2 posted 2000-11-23 12:26 PM

Very competent attempt at a difficult form.Thanks I enjoyed both.

'Humankind cannot bear too much reality' T.S.Eliot

Beki
Senior Member

since 1999-09-15

Posts 1569
Newport Beach, CA, USA

3 posted 2000-11-23 03:05 PM

These were great attempts, pretty successful.

I am happy to hear you gained somethign from my post...I especially like the first one too, a wonderful image of the reality of the circle of life.

OLIAS
Senior Member

since 2000-06-20

Posts 1090
Pearl city Iowa

4 posted 2000-11-23 09:07 PM

Thanks everyone for your kind words, I prefer the first Haiku, I tried to adhere strickly to the guidelines set out by Beki, and I really enjoyed the structure and discipline.

Regards to you all,
Olias.

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

5 posted 2000-11-23 10:58 PM

i choose
haikus
from youze

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