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Open Poetry #11
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The Words You Need Not Say
| Open Poetry #11 |
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The Words You Need Not Say |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989
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Walking barefoot through the fields amidst gentle falling summer rain feeling the shaking of the ground with the passing of a nearby train. Softly down upon my skin the gentle raindrops do fall whispers blowing on the wind my name I'm hearing you call. I feel you slowly lifting me up my feet no longer touching ground you hold me tightly in your arms as you spin, twirling me around. Your lips brush against my face as your now holding me near your softly whispering the words that your wanting me to hear. I raise a finger to your lips I need not hear these words from you, for I hear them in a heart of gold thats beating so steady and true. Sometimes words need not be said their only needed if not felt but I'm feeling them everytime within your arms I do melt. We walked together hand in hand on a warm, misty summer day I felt from your heart to mine the words you need not say. On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. ~me~ |
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| © Copyright 2000 dmsmith - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Beautiful concept about which to write. Some lovely images here. I do think you would add strength to your poem if you reworded it enough to remove all the "ing's" i.e. I C R E V I E W Gentle Spirit I feel you slowly lift me up my feet no longer touch the ground you hold me tightly in your arms as you spin and twirl me 'round. Try it out and see what you think. It's your poem, and I'm far from an expert. |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
Gentle, very nice warm poem not so burrr in here yuh |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
you speak for me - when you write so often - I wonder if we don't succumb to love in the same exact manner ~G~ - a beautiful write D - |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Beautifully written and so well said.  LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Gentle Spirit. . . ----------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Saunni Senior Member
since 2000-07-11
Posts 1777West Virginia |
I found this poem to be wonderful!! I would not change a thing, as I don't believe you were looking for changes...and if I were you, I wouldn't change it. This came from your heart...to change it wouldn't be your feelings or words. Just my opinion also, but I thought it was simply great! Sauni Sauni :) Have you ever known the color grey when the nighttime finds you weak I have, I've walked that road each time; that's where my angel sleeps |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Almost feels like a dream from which one does not wish to wake... lovely! -Tier |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
When you are with someone you really care about sometimes you don't need a lot of words to be spoken...just enjoy the happiness...James |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
soft, soft...lovely Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Gentle Spirit, The last two lines says it all. Well written. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Nicely written!!!!!!!!!!! |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Vas, thanks for the input, it's always good to hear others views on how things could be done differently. Thanks alot Walt, this one was special to me. Bill, I think we are both hopeless romantics at heart, and see love in much the same ways. Aint love grande??? *g* LW, thanks much for the kind compliments. Sven......thanks. *grinz* Saunni, well thank you so much for that. We can learn by others input, but there are times when we are just as you say.....writing from the heart. Thanks. On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. ~me~ |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Tier, luckily for me this one wasn't a dream....sometimes dreams really do come true. Thanks. jmlee, I do believe you hit that one right on the head!! Well said. Thank you. Sunshine, thanks so much for the soft and kind words. ~brite smiles~ Daniel, thanks so much, and btw* Just wanted to tell you I love your signature..... Vandana, thanks so much.  Thanks all, ~D~ On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. ~me~ |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
love shows all the words, not need to say.... wonderful penned.....love it Charisma |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
Thank you for the kind words Charisma. *s* On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. ~me~ |
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