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Open Poetry #11
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Can't you write poetry for me?
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Can't you write poetry for me? |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas 
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Can’t you write poetry for me? All I have is someone else’s poetry falling between the two of us like a glass wall or invisible iron bars that you deny ever erecting to keep me separate from pain that you can’t seem to let go of even though you tell everyone else with words how much you really want to. Tell me with words for once how you can’t seem to let go of me, unless of course you can let go of me and the lack of poetry is in fact the lack of feelings you possess, and all along I’ve been fooling myself while waiting for sweet rhythms to say please stay I love you. I am a fool for thinking you were just shy or didn’t want to rush into anything that may make me think I was more special than that ghost of a girl you write about. you know, the one who makes you cry ink onto paper. You still cry ink so hard I don’t think there will ever be room for anyone else besides her even though I write to you everyday, pleading with metaphors for you to turn around and see me for the first time and realize that I DO love you enough to stick around forever, writing responses to your words that will never be about me. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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| © Copyright 2000 Angela Erin Burke - All Rights Reserved | |||
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Definitely well-depicted struggle. If it is autobiographical, I wish you love, if not, it won't hurt to wish you love anyway. Yes? |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thank you very much for the reply, I wish you well too! "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Enjoyed it!!!!!!!!!!  |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Very touching poem, heartfelt and honest, thank you and take care. Regards, Olias. |
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DreamSeeker Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 72 |
A Sadness In Reaching Still within Is The Source Of Self Peace Find You |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thanks all very much, this is a different style of poetry, I made the lines longer, and extended each phrase. Interesting to see how it works. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
This style works well for you. Very well. Interesting story, also. I have often thought something similar, we long for that which is not, and yet never know if maybe it is, in fact real. Or then again, maybe not. Ambiguosness at it's finest. Sandra |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
ooo i like this miss saxon "you know, the one who makes you cry ink onto paper." |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
I have to say, that this poem got more responses than what I imagined. Thank you all SO very much for taking the time to read it, it really does mean a lot to me. "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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Angel_of_Music Junior Member
since 1999-07-25
Posts 35Sanger, TX USA |
Wow! Great poem. I like this style, the thoughtsd just spill out all over each other. Good job "In sleep he sang to me...in dreams he came...that voice which calls to me, and speaks my name..." |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Saxoness, I loved the way this one flowed from hope to anguish and back to hope. Great write write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Angel and Kethry, thank you very much! Maybe I should try this style more often, huh? "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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desperado Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 312FT Hood,Tx |
well that was easier to read and certainly was a well written piece. I'll have to think about it a little more though. I'll get back to you with a full debrief. |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Saxoness, How richly intense and lovely. You should send that to your intended love. It touched my heart with such exigency, I wish for you that it will touch his. Beautiful! Elise |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wow! This was wonderful and touching, really heartfelt. Enjoy reading it much. jwesley |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
This hits and hurts hard...feels sad, yet hopeful all at the same time..Great work Saxoness...I liked it much... ~LL~The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown |
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Saxoness
since 1999-07-18
Posts 1102Texas |
Thanks ya'll! Des, maybe we should save the debriefing for another time lol "Glory remains unaware of my neglected dwelling where alone I sing my tearful song which has charms only for me." |
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