Another excerpt from the journal of...

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Open Poetry #11

Another excerpt from the journal of...

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

0 posted 2000-11-17 02:28 AM

Another excerpt from the journal of ...
Insomniac Gone Mad
book 30 Chapter 13 pg. 42

lost under a
dark mask of
madness
unbearable pain
caused just by taking
a breath...
manicured nails claw
at the lids of
a living coffin
while muffled cries
of anguish
reach ... to where?
an exit ramp, of
tortured souls~~
departure time?
still unknown

snow

[This message has been edited by Snow (edited 11-17-2000).]

vlraynes
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-25

Posts 8229
Somewhere... out there...

1 posted 2000-11-17 02:34 AM

<b>
Snow-
WOW!!! this is awesome!

   such depth of thought and emotion here.

  'manicured nails claw
   at the lids of
   a living coffin
   while muffled cries
   of anguish
   reach ... to where?
   an exit ramp, of
   tortured souls~~
   departure time?
         still unknown'

   i've read this several times now,
   and i just find it incredible.

you've got me thinking with this one.

hugs,
-vicky</b>

"...until you have read the verse on his
heart, you have not truely met the poet."
-vlraynes

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

2 posted 2000-11-17 02:53 AM

vicky,

"you've got me thinking with this one"

then I did what I wanted to do!!! *smiling*
thank you ;-)

S~

kaile

Member Ascendant

since 2000-02-06

Posts 5146
singapore

3 posted 2000-11-17 03:57 AM

i too read the poem several times and liked the way you offer an open-ended conclusion, leaving the reader to think for himself...

thanx for the read

Snow

Senior Member

since 2000-10-16

Posts 1170
desert flower looking for rain

4 posted 2000-11-17 04:22 AM

kaile,
thank you! your comment is very much appreciated!

Snow

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

5 posted 2000-11-17 04:35 AM

Awesome!!! Worth several reads!

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

Robert Joseph
Member

since 2000-10-07

Posts 491
South Carolina

6 posted 2000-11-17 02:51 PM

Neve, your soul intrigues me...your gift holds me.

Robert Joseph
~enb~

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