Open Poetry #11 |
Shadows Of Goodbye |
Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Shadows of Goodbye I live in the shadows that cover me So pale is the mirror I want to flee I see in the dark but all is gray My colors are buried and now decay The memories fade but I still recall A brightness about them that could enthrall The nights they are long when you cannot pray These cold shadows grow longer day by day A longing inside me grows even more A desire for life that I can't ignore Heavy chains now lie broken at my feet I step from the shadows that now retreat I look to the sky and see castles there Whoever thought I would live in the air? Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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© Copyright 2001 Jamie Patterson - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Jamie, this sounds like goodbye! I hope so much it isn't. I've enjoyed your work so much. In fact you were one of the first poets I read and I was so impressed I wanted to be like you. (that was before I discovered the difference in the sexes) If it is goodbye I wish you well and know that you will remain in my heart forever. be well Kethry Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
There are indeed goodbyes there, but please don't think they are meant for Passions. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
"I look to the sky and see castles there Whoever thought I would live in the air?" --a perfect ending to a sorrowful and deep piece of work. I loved it, especially the last two lines. Wonderful! *Krista Knutson* I'm a slow dying flower In a frost-killing hour The sweet turning sour and untouchable... -Natalie Merchant |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Great Write!! Enjoyed this much!! Loved the last two lines in particular. jwesley |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Phew, now I can relax again! When are you going to do another stunningly romantic piece that you do so well. I've been practising the language Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Sounds like you are moving on....it's wonderful news...leave those chains there and step on out into the world...welcome! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Jamie...I have missed you friend...and some goodbyes just have to be...doesnt make them easy...but you know I am always here for you...hugs...this is sad and glorious all at once...fly sweetie FLY |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
The memories fade but I still recall A brightness about them that could enthrall The nights they are long when you cannot pray These cold shadows grow longer day by day a deep and sad piece, wonderfully written. "I look to the sky and see castles there Whoever thought I would live in the air?" loved the last two lines. There's a feeling of contentment Now that you are here I feel satisfied I belong inside Your velvet heaven" Depeche mode |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Thanks for the most kind replies, perhaps one day the ending may come true (for all of us)...again thanks very much. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Hey Jamie a very deep piece my friend. The memories fade but I still recall A brightness about them that could enthrall The nights they are long when you cannot pray these cold shadows grow longer day by day indeed they can but all ya got to do is, step over those chains. and I loved the ending lines my dear. Maree I need a lullaby a kiss goodnight Angel sweet love of my life Oh, I need this ~Natalie Merchant~ |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
A profound goodbye my friend... This is a haunting piece - and this line really moved me: 'The nights they are long when you cannot pray' Oh yes, I believe you are right. Hugs J - and a great write too K |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
I look to the sky and see castles there Whoever thought I would live in the air? Jamie- those last two lines are so beautiful...I can look to the clouds sometimes...and see those castles... ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This engulfs my mood exactly, so I thank you for making me feel not so very much alone... |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
Maree-- Well dear,, I'm a pretty deep person...lol....thank you for caring. Kamla-- A great write huh?-- Makes me feel so good coming from such a taskmaster...hehe---- thanks kind lady.. Wynter--- As long as you can see them they are always within reach aren't they?...Thanks for the nice reply. Sunshine-- Thank You,, and you are welcome,-- As long as there are folks like you and the others here, we are never really alone. Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Jamie..... Reaching for the castles in the air and letting go of the chains sounds like a wonderful expression of freedom to me! Sometimes goodbyes are necessary for personal growth, and I applaud you, and this poem!! Write on! -<--<--{(@ |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
very uplifting (pardon the pun) |
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