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Open Poetry #11
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shadow/night
| Open Poetry #11 |
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shadow/night |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA 
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on that ending night in the darkness I beheld your shadow of dark breathing into you the essence of my dark heart as I hold you close we moved into time together into the night night I, shadow she -------------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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| © Copyright 2001 John Garcia - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Simply said and beautifully done.  Need I say more than that? Can I be your willful breeze, Come to touch, Your heart to ease? |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
Quiet, soft, and so very romantic... -Tier{Robin} |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
the essence of haiku...short but powerfully haunting, leaving an impression in this reader's mind |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Sven, night I, shadow she moving on through history wait for infinity Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This has a lovely waltz quality...well done! |
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Quiet One Junior Member
since 2001-01-01
Posts 46Shhhhh |
A shadow lingers attracted to your heartglow Thus waiting for you |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
No Temptress, you don't have to. . . thank you. . . Robin, that's me. . . thank you for reading. . . from one who helped remind me of the power of haiku, thank you kaile. . . Kethry, you have said it all my friend. . . that's exactly what I tried to show here Sunshine. . . thank you my friend. . . I really liked your haiku response Quiet One. . . it's so. . . forgive me quiet. . . --------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
Sven love, would you prefer me succinct or normal? Succinctly this is truly simply beautiful. And if i was as effervescent as normal, but I'm not, it would be utterly utterly wonderfully beautiful. Which it is of course Take care kid Mushy  Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
another brief but tasty morsel of romance, always to be found at the pen of sir Sven. Loved it Sandra [This message has been edited by catalinamoon (edited 01-05-2001).] |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
This is darkling, beautiful, enchanting.. enjoyed the read... Poeminister |
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Agust P Member
since 2000-12-29
Posts 157 |
beautiful poem "we moved into time together into the night night I, shadow she" I liked it very much, thanks, AP |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
oh sven I love these senryu's ...they are marvelous (hugs)) Charisma |
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Beverley Member
since 2000-07-09
Posts 97England |
Beautifully written Stone walls do not a prison make Nor iron bars a cage Minds innocent and quiet take That for a hermitage If I have freedom in my love And in my s |
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hoot_owl_rn Member Patricius
since 1999-07-05
Posts 10750Glen Hope, PA USA |
Well done Sven...it's been a pleasure to watch you mature as a poet in front of our eyes |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Mushy love, I would prefer you however you would like to be. . . matters not, you're always wonderful!! Thank you love. . . Sandra, thank you. . . I hope to have main courses very soon. . . Poeminister, thank you my friend. . . I've recently discovered that the dark isn't as bad as some would make it. . . AP, you're welcome. . . glad that you enjoyed. . . Charisma, thank you my friend. . . and thank you for reading. . . Beverly, thank you. . . hoot_owl, thank you my friend. . . I am indeed thankful to all the poets here for helping me to become better. . . it continues to be an honor to learn from all of you. . . ---------------------------------------------------------- To the world, you may only be one person. But to one person, you may be the world. |
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monique Member
since 2000-02-03
Posts 369Louisiana |
i like the breathing part the best that's when you get to the essence and the moves become one |
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Breathe~ Member
since 2000-02-05
Posts 315Washington... |
Shivers...shivers... I like the blend of love and darkness... It seems that the Haiku has invaded Passions...and what a lovely bunch they are... Glorious.. I love the time and in between the calm inside me in the space where I can breathe... Sarah McLachlan |
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Nate Dogg Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658Georgia, Fulton |
What a meshing between shadow and light, Sven, this is a fabulous write! Nathan |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Sven, Compelling, powerful, and as always, beautiful... Much love, Elise |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Well I'd say that you have captured so much in just a few words. Well done m'friend and much enjoyed! ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
on that ending night in the darkness I beheld your shadow of dark holding onto time edging closer to your beat shadows moving in breathing into you the essence of my dark heart as I hold you close indigo breezes washing over us, warming in silent whispers we moved into time together into the night night I, shadow she *couldn't resist *s ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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LilJenn New Member
since 2001-01-04
Posts 6Canada |
This was an excellent write...I enjoyed it. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
Lovely,my friend |
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