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Open Poetry #11
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My Quiet Time
| Open Poetry #11 |
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My Quiet Time |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware 
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(I thought I'd try something different - making the 'echo' verses rhyme with the prior) (And yes - Karilea's "quiet time" inspired much of what I wrote) My Quiet Time V 1 In the hubbub of today When chaos reigns supreme When calm is sought But seldom found V 1 echo Your name I need to say For you’re pacific dreams With you I rest the taut With you is solid ground V 2 In this most sublime peace Vision laughter and delight Bringing warmth like sunrise And soothing cool of sunset V 2 echo See your smile, it’s upturned crease Feel supple you through the night Morning kisses are no surprise All of my dreams are met V 3 No challenge – but encouragement There’s just the perfect slice And my bad jokes are not dismissed With anymore than a groan V 3 echo Meeting in such sweet silence meant Our eyes, our smiles suffice Knowing we can stir or be blessed As if we were each other’s clone V 4 Here, inside my quiet chest Where your heart reigns supreme I sense synchronization Closer still we could not be V 4 echo No afterglow of greater rest No rapport of eyes that beam No rest or relaxation Could exceed this you and me < !signature--> You can always tell a real friend; when you've made a fool of yourself, a real friend doesn't feel you've done a permanent job. ~ Laurence J. Peter ~ [This message has been edited by Wilfred Yeats (edited 01-03-2001).] |
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| © Copyright 2001 Wilfred Yeats - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well is there anything you can't do with your poetry if you try? I think NOT. This was wonderful and of course with the source of the inspiration you had there was a given that it would be amazing to say the least. Okay........rambling I am so let's just say that I applaud you on another excellent piece my friend. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Wil, Now there's an echo write I could live with. It's sooo good ,no not merely good grrreat! Write on Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wonderful! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Bil this is great and the idea went well with the reader. It helped that you explained it a bit at first. And Bill hey! I gotta tell ya my friend it takes guts to put a word like syncrhonization into a poem like this and have it not upset the theme but in fact enhance it...well done Bill! |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Mr. Yeats...this has taken poetic form to a new high...if Nan checks in, perhaps she can tell us that this is an old form...but for now... this is a wonderful echo...a voice, and a voice...a line and a rhyme...a most lovely read... thank you! |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Golly - I did not expect such an enthusiastic response - Thank you all so much |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
So wonderfully inspired Wil, well penned indeed  Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
Tracie- well - it was fun (if you can believe that) - Subject matter is the easiest - my imagination in that rhelm always easy - - so the challenge is format Thank you |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Hey Wil.... I really enjoyed reading this piece - It has a nice ambience - I don't know of any specific format that it follows though... which of course doesn't mean there isn't one..  |
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