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You Asked...
| Open Poetry #11 |
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You Asked... |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain 
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You Asked... remembering causes pain to take the pain away would mean climbing with the vines and I wont go on that trip and yet... to keep feeling it all, kills me a little more with each memory... if I turned off the music it wouldn't matter, his face would be there and I would still be lost in his eyes and the taste of his lips would still be as sweet as they were when he first kissed me hello while the bitterness of when he said good-bye, is waiting to take over I'm falling apart.. no rhyme or reason why I can't let go ... he did.. and yet, here I am unglued shattered pieces of my heart blow across the sky and I can feel how I'm fading into the shadows no longer a part of him no longer ... me I thought that I had found the other half of my soul we both agreed, I was he... he was ... me but then he gave me, back ... me and I was less than I was before ... him and you ask ... if I'm all right? No but the music still plays and the next song isn't ours, and the vines ... no longer have roots. font: cac camelot 12/30/00 "...I am a river in winter, quiet in the eyes of most but deep, swift and full of life to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Snow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
This empty spot here in my heart as given to one then left, undone shall it ever be whole again? When soul again should my vision see will that whole then, just then, be me? Snow, lovely, haunting write...well done my friend...well done... |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Very sad but hauntingly beautiful! Well written piece it's just that....well... I think the vines still have roots....just me? |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
thank you for the replies on a piece that traveled from the soul out... the vines are a personal metaphor that i use, but hopefully use it in a way that leaves it open for the reader to take it however they need to. snow "...I am a river in winter, quiet in the eyes of most but deep, swift and full of life to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I know it hurts...but don't let it hurt too long...it's easy for someone to let go that didn't care very much and hard for those that care too much...be strong and be brave...James |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
and you ask ... if I'm all right? No but the music still plays and the next song isn't ours, and the vines ... no longer have roots. =============================== I loved the ending to this one the most, but the whole poem sang of pain. Very well written and filled with much emotion. |
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John R Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 141Toledo OH |
I feel your pain in this poem Snow. I understand what it is like to speak from the soul. If a dream touches us, it exists to us as anything else that touches us. John |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
James, Mark and John... your comments are so heartfelt.. thank you very much! mark, you quoted my own favorite part. ;-) happy new year ! Snow "...I am a river in winter, quiet in the eyes of most but deep, swift and full of life to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
I know the pain in these words. I too had a vine at one time, or thought I did. But they live without roots. They live without roots because they also live in water. I wasn't bathed in love and it died, now I live.... swimming in the life that will never end. "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart Kathleen |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
very real, very big ache..i can feel it strangle me..i can only imagine how the ache affects YOU.. i've seen this before..in me..and i know, it truly hurts.... i like the way you've written this, straight from the souls core... wishing for you a new start in the new year..find you..  hugs, g "people who need people are the luckiest people..." barbra s. |
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Snow
since 2000-10-16
Posts 1170desert flower looking for rain |
I really appreciate all the comments on this piece. thank you very much. snow "...I am a river in winter, quiet in the eyes of most but deep, swift and full of life to one, lucky enough to fall through the ice. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Snow, no comments my friend the poem speaks strongly enough to drown out anything I might say. But *heartfelt HuGS* Keth Those of us who refuse to risk and grow get swallowed up by life. Patty Hansen. |
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Mother_Earth Senior Member
since 2000-11-20
Posts 13701/2 year Texas & 1/2 year Michigan |
Snow, I wish I could help take the pain away, but some say you grow with pain and will be stronger. Not sure if I believe those "some". I can help with .....love and hugs, Mother E |
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