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Open Poetry #11
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Transparent Commentary
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Transparent Commentary |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla 
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Transparent Commentary Shadows trace and trail me round Court my feet upon the ground Pantomimes my every line Filigree my dress design. Tansparent in this delight Naked shadows sleep the night. But cannot follow me my guile This subtle difference makes me smile. There are some things I like to do Beyond the sun beyond the blue. Perhaps in secret fantasy I will not share this ecstasy. My shadow feeds upon the bright And sleeps with I the dark of night Perhaps my shadow has a lark Perhaps it wiles within the dark. It lives a world away from me Yet lives my same eternity. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
This is absolutely wonderful Seymour!!! I loved the visuals this brought to mind of shadows mimicking through day, then being left out of the evening follies ... what a great concept, loved this!  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Kit, Thank you for the interesting comment. |
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Dark Enchantress Senior Member
since 1999-07-27
Posts 1258meet Morgana |
There are some things I like to do Beyond the sun beyond the blue. Perhaps in secret fantasy I will not share this ecstasy I really liked that stanza. I'm not exactly sure why to be honest. I suppose it's because I relate to it pretty well. The whole poem itself though was, as Kit said, absolutely wonderful. This is actually a topic I don't see much so I enjoyed all the more. Angel I am no one if not myself. ~*SeLf PrOcLaImEd FrEaK oF nAtUrE*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Don't know that I can share some of the images that graced my gray as I read these lines...suffice to say, through thought, came smiles, and a never-ending desire to read you always... |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Seymour, this is fine poetry. Your rhyme is perfect, the meter flows I don't have to scan this to know that! But more importantly the message is clear to me, I believe. Thank you for this well crafted piece. "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart Kathleen |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
excellent Sy. . . our shadows always seem to have more fun than we do. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
oh my....this is so beautiful....especially these lines.... There are some things I like to do Beyond the sun beyond the blue. Perhaps in secret fantasy I will not share this ecstasy. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ and it's not fair that you wont share these secret fantasy.... love it ((hugs)) Charisma |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Tansparent in this delight Naked shadows sleep the night. But cannot follow me my guile This subtle difference makes me smile. There are some things I like to do Beyond the sun beyond the blue. Perhaps in secret fantasy I will not share this ecstasy. My shadow feeds upon the bright And sleeps with I the dark of night Perhaps my shadow has a lark Perhaps it wiles within the dark. It lives a world away from me Yet lives my same eternity ===================== this WAY COOL poem makes me smile ... ya know I always dig the guile of your wile  does your shadow look like you...or that randy dragon?  *winkiewinkie* me Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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Mistletoe Angel 
since 2000-12-17
Posts 32816Portland, Oregon |
Wow, this is an excellent poem! So filled with such voice, every line is wonderful! Thank you for sharing, my friend! May love and light always shine upon you! Love, Noah Eaton |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Dark, Me and my shadow thank you. Karilea, You will always be my sunshine. *L* Irish, I thank you for the well crafted comment. Sven, Thanks for the excellent. Charisma, Not with my shadow but I will with you. JM, More like my randy dragon. Winkiewinkie Stinky Mistletoe, And my shadow too? Thank you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Ah Sy, you give me reason for a bump...{~,^} I would always be your sunshine...yes indeedy... |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Sunshine, Thank you for the bump. *L* |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Completely and utterly wonderful...and you look so GOOD Sy!!!!  |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Poet deVine, A devine compliment, I thank you *L* |
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