Open Poetry #11 |
Fragile, Handle With Care |
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Fragile, Handle with Care she collects glass and he his memories objet d'art becomes artillery and if not the object then the verbal is thrown toward she… she quietly wipes away the dust hoping to wipe away the rust but the memories are here to stay in the form of d'art objet he says "I gave you this and that" and she quells the tit for tat he says, "WHAT do you WANT" and she hides from his taunt he leaves the room she gives a sigh and in the sparkle of glass on high she reaches up then spreads the gleam she wipes the crystal to extend the sheen and in the light she cries commitment, honor, promise, bound a grimace at footstep she looks around he stands before her his hand extends she wants to believe his love has no end but he says "what do you want?" and then the truth, his tease and taunt rise like bile within her throat and she slowly, slowly chokes for he won't see the hurt in her for in her love, he is that sure and there is nowhere for her to go…. so she turns back to her glass her crystal and her objet d'art she says, quietly, "it will pass," [this breaking of her heart] then quietly returns to polishing the glass. |
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© Copyright 2000 Karilea Rilling Jungel - All Rights Reserved | |||
Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"and she slowly, slowly chokes for he won't see the hurt in her for in her love, he is that sure and there is nowhere for her to go…." You've touched a part of me in these words Karilea ... powerful my friend ... Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
fragile indeed. . . tender my friend. . . -------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Excellent expression, Karilea. Very well written! Denise |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
This is so sad....if only she would tell him what she wants..talk it out..communication is the key to any relationship. He can't know what she wants by osmosis!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
and she slowly, slowly chokes for he won't see the hurt in her for in her love, he is that sure and there is nowhere for her to go…. so she turns back to her glass her crystal and her objet d'art she says, quietly, "it will pass," [this breaking of her heart] then quietly returns to polishing the glass. =============== if I just say WOW ... will you KNOW ... yes....you will ... WOW. me Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Karilea, you can write poems that become moving pictures to the reader as they are being absorbed...this is such a poem. I could literally see the entire scene happening before my eyes. This is a real gift...thank you for sharing this moment.. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Kari, just beautiful, that's all, that's enough! Keth Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
"and there is nowhere for her to go…." Isn't there? Even if the unacceptable options begun are never completed... - sometimes the lack of confidence they produce is sufficient - to being about the desired change after wiping away a tear - this was the only thought I could produce |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
First friends, do remember that at times we all write fiction...for me...for some, it CAN have a ring of truth... Kit, you are one of Passion's Masters...I have learned well from you...thank you for telling me how this touched you... Yes Sven, it is a fragile piece, thank you... thank you denise, praise indeed... PdV, I did not portray very well that in this instance, even her own words are thrown back at her, hence the silence...I'll work on that... yes JM, I would know...thank you... 'Deer, I'll keep working on "the gift"...for that is how I want my writing to be, as if you could be in the middle of the scene...thank you... Kethry, definitely! Thank you... Mr. Yeats, unfortunately in the midwest, there are still many families with old values, to go with the old crystal, and for some women, new ways and feminism are only something they have read about...see: "commitment, honor, promise, bound". Thank you for reading...and for your quiet tear... |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
So sad a write sunshiny girl. You have written this so very well, even though it is so sad it is beautifully written...well done ~HUG~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I have read this one so many times, and I still don't have the words. I think you know that I know, though, so I'll just offer HUGS. |
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