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Open Poetry #11
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Free-Falling
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Free-Falling |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648
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What is this feeling of despair That saturates the very air I breathe, that suffocates the life In me, insinuating strife Where none exists, or am I blind; Is there a lack in heart, in mind? I count my blessings one by one With gratefulness, then when I’m done A free-fall into nothingness Obliterates all happiness. I guess I’ll blame it on the season; Still missing you must be the reason. I thought sore grief had lost its bite But I was wrong, it holds me tight And mangles me in gripping jaws And strangles me with jagged claws. It rips the heart clean out of me And strips away nobility I'd sought and fought so hard to claim In honor of your life, your name; I aim to live with style and grace To wear your smile upon my face But I admit – I am undone At least for now – the beast has won. *This came pouring out of me today. As much as I love to keep a stiff upper lip and a smile on my face, this time of year is the hardest for me, as I am sure it is for all who have lost ones dear to them, and maybe a bit of honesty about the struggles I go through with my grief from time to time will go a long way in the healing process. This is dedicated to all who have lost loved ones* Denise [This message has been edited by dsnyder (edited 12-29-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Denise - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
Denise, Go on! Let it out! My God, don't keep silent, if you want to write- write. IF we lose our freedom to express through worry or anything else, we might as well lay down and die. I've lost three family members to death this year. Like you, I don't blast it all over the posts, it's not something I do; but we are human. I use metaphor, and if someone knows enough about me, they know what I mean, but most don't. We all get tired of smiling and need to reach out with our words and heal and maybe help someone else. The loved ones in your life are your anchor; we bear each others burdens, or we should. I count my blessings too. But sometimes we have to be weak so that we can be made stronger. We have to reach out. Isn't that what love is for? God bless you. "Every man dies. Not every man truly lives." Braveheart |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Denise~ And my heart thanks you for this, my friend. 'I struggled long and hard to claim In honor of your life, your name, To wear your smile upon my face I long to do with style and grace But I admit – I am undone' I'll admit I've had my moments. One thing I've learned is that I'm never ashamed of my tears - when they fall for someone I've loved and lost. You're a sweetheart to reach out to us in this one, Denise. Thank you with *hugs*. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Denise~ I know just how this feels.......missing my Aunt Sue like crazy......wishing for things I'll never get to do or to say........it hits hard this time of year, and I'm just this year coming to understand that.......my heart goes out to you.....hugs, SEA |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Kathleen, Marge and SEA. It's never easy, but with the love and help of others we can survive and even thrive. Thank you for the encouragement. It's most appreciated! Denise |
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Salooma Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781 |
Wow...this was beautiful! The poem itself flowed so smoothly and the words were so touching....I love it!  |
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2dalimit Member Elite
since 2000-02-08
Posts 2228Mississippi coast |
Yes. This time of year brings up memories of our past loved ones. I feel your sorrow. Melton |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
thank you for sharing this one Denise...as I lost my uncle just before Christmas.... ((warm Hugs)) Charisma |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Salooma, Melton and Charisma for reading and replying. It's appreciated. I'm sorry for your loss Charisma, there's nothing worse than losing someone around the holidays. *Hugs* Denise |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very special poem, and sending a New Years hug to you. Sandra |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Don't ever feel that you need to be ashamed or sorrowful for feeling this way. As you said, it is painful and once in awhile you just have to let it out. I do and I am not afraid to do so but I must admit that there was a time in my life where I was. Superb writing and definitely full of emotion. Hoping you find that strength of the smile again real soon. There is always "ONE" that will listen and I know that you know where to find "Him". A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. author unknown |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Sandra and Mark, for reading and for your comforting replies. Mark, no, we definitely should not be ashamed of our grief, that's true, and I'm not. I'm just acutely aware of the discomfort that it brings to others and I hate making those around me uncomfortable, so I tend to withdraw from others during my down times. I guess that's not helpful to myself, though. But putting my feelings down on paper helps. Thanks again for your heartfelt replies. It is appreciated! Denise |
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Lady Lightning Member
since 2000-12-04
Posts 422Kentucky |
Very lovely poem..Life is a hard road to walk , with love, truth and understanding we somehow seem to get through it...The title says it all for the way I feel so often it seems...I so needed to read these words this morning...Thank you for this post... ~LL~< !signature--> The way to love anything is to realize it might be lost. author unknown [This message has been edited by Lady Lightning (edited 12-29-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
denise, perhaps it is because I feel more now than ever before that the title of this yesterday paused me and I did not read, for I was down, and did not feel like falling... today I am myself again, and had the strength to read these, your thoughts, and of course, empathize with you and your losses...we really cannot explain the feeling when it can be so vast...all I can do is hope and pray that someday your grief will resolve a little...and that you shall only remember the good of the life lived before... Hugs my dear...tender loving hugs... |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
sincere, and honest emotions Denise ... and many find their own quiet comfort in reading these sad expressions as it helps them to know there are others who feel the same way.. and that they are not alone. And as we write, we heal in the words. we all know--no one is happy and smiling all the time. well written and expressed writing, a caring gesture and dedication take care jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Lady Lightning, Karilea and Janet Marie for reading and for your thoughtful caring replies. I believe I've come a long way in dealing with my feelings of loss, and yes, writing them down definitely helps. I suppose each passing holiday season will get easier. Thanks for listening! Denise |
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Gentle Spirit Member Patricius
since 2000-10-09
Posts 13989 |
D, I can honestly say that I know and sympathize with these feelings of loosing a loved one. This time of year is hard, but in my heart it's always hard. What helps is knowing that he is with me now just as he was then. I'm sorry, I ramble...but your strength will come from within.....even when you are free falling. And D- always let your heart write the words for that is when the written words are the best. Hugs sweet lady. ~Donna On the wings of words our spirits fly, and our souls are free. Donna Smith |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
Denise, we have all lost in one way or another. I have a hard time with this time of year also...I'm not sure I know anyone who doesn't. Thanks so much for this write, wonderful as usual. |
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RobertB Senior Member
since 1999-09-26
Posts 1104Champaign, IL |
I think we all do a little free falling this time of year my Dear. Robert |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
Denise~ The grief of a love so sorely missed will always be there, but I pray this day you will find peace in the love you shared. Feel free to share and write what's in your heart, while holding on to the gift of love. It will carry you through the rest of your days. Hugs, Deb |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wonderfully expressed Denise. It is a difficult time of the year, a time that brings many memories and thoughts to the forefront for quite a few people ... you've spoken for many, including myself in this powerful piece. Very well written. Best wishes and hugs, /Kit |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Donna, Dixie, Robert, Deb and Kit for your comforting replies! Denise |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Denise, this is powerfully beautiful! I am so glad you shared it with us all *HUGS* Maree "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this wouldn't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
THis is the season of love, when many people get depressed over someone they lost. I think it is normal to feel the loss more at this time. WEll written Liz |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Thank you, Maree and Elizabeth for reading and for your lovely replies! I'm glad to know these feelings are normal. I sometimes wonder how 'normal' I am....hehehe  Denise |
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