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Open Poetry #11
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Unwrapped
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Unwrapped |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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foil and velvet... enticing eye... glistening in the twinkling lights-- it smelled and beckoned of entice... entrancing me with christmas spice... and I so hungry for a box that would not come complete with locks the last one underneath the tree-- surely it must be for me? And still I could, would not beleive... I read the tag, to my relief, written in a fancy pen... "From me to you..." in love, again... I didn't want to open it. I studied every crease. the paper, folded, "oh-just-so..." I wanted taste of memory. I wanted to remember this-- a gift of love's remembrance... In cherish, then, I hugged the box grateful you'd remembered me... sweet perish then as legs unlocked, in tears, I sank down to my knees. Oh my joy as heart beat wild, and with abandon of a child. I ripped the paper, pulled the bow, tissue tossed beneath the glow of twinkling lights of christmas tree this gift that waited just for me... and oh I guess, the joke's on me... and no, I didn't stop to weep-- for in the box-- dimensions deep? was emptiness for me to keep. window dressing for a show... the store front bought as presentation... on display the price I paid-- the starring role of your sensation. But even now it's in my keep the foiled box containing weep and every tear I store within? I save to stroll my cheek again... every moment's memory I placed inside there just for me-- a flow of sorrow here, on tap-- slow tomorrow, US---unwrapped. |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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yroc New Member
since 2000-12-27
Posts 3 |
I like this quite a bit...familial images of tree and presents mixed with the love between two people, tis a nice mix but so bitter with the ending. ouch! that hurt. Isuppose that was the point. |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Serenity, the emotions in this poem you have penned touch my heart in more ways than I can say... Hugs2uPoetFriend for this incredible write... Coco |
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SpitFire Member Elite
since 2000-04-19
Posts 2396 |
~K,...hmph! This is heavy, weighted. Your words, amazing the way that you do that. Twist and wrap and weave them through, your poetry is so right to the gut. It always gets me. Be taking care you. *Peace. |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
This is an incredible write...a blend of the joy and the anticipation as well as the darker melancholy.... as always, you amaze me  Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Oh sweet seren, this was me after reading this beautiful piece....simply WOW!!!! incredible write hon ~HUG~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
There is much feeling in this. Take care! "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Serenity~ *Hugs* for this piece - So delicately done, sweet lady. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
A maker of goosebumps The capture of thought Uplifting the heartstrings Then climaxed to naught In rhythmic perfection Expression of grace It's broken my heart With a smile on my face This is wonderful! Love Liz |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
The wrapping more pleasing to the eye than the gift within?... occasionally... Perhaps the gift within can be more pleasing to the heart, though???...maybe???... |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
o sen this is so awesome thanks! |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
geez, girl! you're writing good ones right and left lately.... loved this! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I wanted to thank you all individually, but I get too lazy, lol...(shame on me, but is the truth) And I actually had a very lovely christmas...was just trying to portray the emptiness of keeping up the appearances for the sake of family happiness...but now all is back to normal...we can be dysfunctional again for new years...rah...grins and thanks to forum!!! |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
this one does have me tearing, and it is a reminder of the emptiness under my tree...not even a foil wrapped or velvet covered empty box...but I have the lights glowing on the tree and my memories of tomorrows to come reflected in them and in the ornaments I chose to place on it... wonderful write serenity, this one I shall save..for next year it won't be empty *s huggzz ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Only one with the depth of heart and truely gifted vision that you possess could have penned this. You are amazing my friend. You just excel every time you touch that pen of yours. A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. author unknown |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Seren This is a wonderful piece. Liked it very much Rich |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
wonderful serenity. . . the gift shown. . . --------------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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