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Open Poetry #11
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Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781


0 posted 2000-12-26 08:34 PM


Hello....well I'm writing this poem for a friend, to give to him for our holiday coming up on WED. Sooo.....I need some wonderful advice from all of you at Passions that can help me with what I have...add, subtract, etc whatever you feel makes it right and all I know is it definatly needs an ending....Thank you all soooo much!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Are you the person you seem to be?
The wonderful friend you look to be?
Are you the angel that came down to save?
The guardian that my memory's paved?
Are you the sweetness of bitter taste?
The mystery I don't dare to waste?
Are you a story left for me to create?
The ending making me unable to hesitate?
Are you the only justice that remains?
The truth, the purity my mind sustains?
Are you the enemy of my ugly side?
The one that takes pain and gives back pride?
Are you confusion that makes sense to me at times?
The pure illusion that's made to hear my cries?
Are you there for me to be complete?
The dream that lives for us to finally meet?
Are you a star shining throughout the nights?
The dazzeling wonder unmasked by desert brights?
Are you my cheer when cheer is hard to find?
The only thought, I never truly mind?
Are you the shoulder of enduring pain?
The one that heals my heart when I find it slain?
Are you the one substains that makes my empty full?
The piece of art that's never to me dull?
Are you reality but in a pleasent form?
The pure insanity that makes my winter warm?

Thanks again  


[This message has been edited by Ron (06-25-2011 10:02 AM).]

© Copyright 2000 Salooma - All Rights Reserved
Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
1 posted 2000-12-27 05:50 AM


Salooma,
Here's a couple of couplets you could use one or 'tother or neither if you like

If you are any or all of these things
I want you to know your poetry gives wings.

are you the one on whom I can depend?
if you're not a lover will you always be my friend.
Keth




Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


Salooma
Senior Member
since 2000-01-28
Posts 781

2 posted 2000-12-28 02:16 PM


Thanks for replying....perhaps i can use those  

Salma

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navwin » Archives » Open Poetry #11 » Need some help with a poem from Teen :)

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