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CrazyChick
Member

since 2000-01-05

Posts 132

0 posted 2000-12-26 03:01 AM

I'm confused
i'm lonely
and i'm terrified inside

Your gone
but I can't be upset
I'm to angry and pissed off to be upset

You were suppose to love me
and protect me
and care for me with all your heart

You were suppose to hug me and tell me you loved me
You were suppose to comfort me when I was sad
and celebrate with me when I was happy

You were suppose to protect me from the evils in the world

But instead
You were an evil in my world

You took away my childhood
and deprived me of all the love I deserved

You took away my innocence
and filled me with hatred and anger

These tears I cry are not because I'm gonna miss you

I cry these tears because I hate you for what you did to me

The physical bruises no longer show
but the emotional pain is unbearable

I'm scared to death to love anyone
because you taught me that abuse is love

As a child
I would lay in bed at night
crying myself to sleep
because I was so afraid and hurt and lonely

I've grown up now
and still
some nights I cry myself to sleep

I'm going to have a baby now
and I will never let my child know of the pain and heartache you caused me
I'm going to love this baby with all my heart
and give him/her everything I never had, but deserved and needed, growing up

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2000-12-26 03:25 AM

There's a lot of anger in this poetry and I hope it not from what I think it could be from. Believe me there are some nice guys out there that are innocent to this kind of abuse and they will have to patient with you but you will have to love them openly. It always ends up being a two way street.

Sven

Member Laureate

since 1999-11-23

Posts 14937
East Lansing, MI USA

2 posted 2000-12-26 08:04 PM

my good friend ethome is right. . .

let the love for your child replace the anger that is inside of you. . . because believe me. . . once the anger is there. . . it takes a lot to get rid of it. . .

profound and very powerful. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

That which gives light must endure burning
--Victor Frankl

shinamoon
Junior Member

since 2000-12-07

Posts 15
Daytona Beach, usa

3 posted 2000-12-26 08:26 PM

life and memories are hard sometimes i know where your coming from but until you let it go and release the anger life and memories will continue to be hard. you need peace and gentleness for that childto feel your love goodluck and i hope you find release

CrazyChick
Member

since 2000-01-05

Posts 132

4 posted 2000-12-27 01:22 AM

thank you very much for your reply's. I wrote this about two years ago. I had a miscarriage a few months after i wrote this which made things hard for awhile, but i'm doing much better now. For the first time in a long time, i almost feel like my life is ok.

Thanks again

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