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Open Poetry #11
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serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738


0 posted 2000-12-21 11:03 PM


I feel it leaving, exit me,
every other, other day…
I feel it enter, enter me,
a bone, to hold the dogs at bay.
I feel presence
deep within,
a war, in keep
of  mortal sin…
I feel a presence
within Sin—
and pray I be, Without--
again…

Absconding flesh
but to ascend.
Pretend that I am
pure again.
No blood upon
my hands of fear—
nothing, nothing,
Nothing’s clear…

Time
is but
the tick
of watch--
rhyme
being
but a trick—
the cloth,
of a blind
so gently tied…
a capture of
the tears I cry…

Unleash my hands
and let me be!
If I must die,
may I die free?
Upon my feet…
I’ll take the fall.
Upon my knees
I’ll beg for all -
that by my might
Live it again,
upon my knees—

to stand again.

Upon my knees,
I pray—ascend…

Re-write the curse
Of verse’s end…


© Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
1 posted 2000-12-21 11:09 PM


How do you do this...touch souls like this?...well done Serenity...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ




Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
2 posted 2000-12-21 11:32 PM


Bullseye, Karen. You hit the Balladeer button dead center. This has become my personal favorite fo yours....this poem is so good I don't really have the words for it...
Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

3 posted 2000-12-22 12:40 PM


I feel it leaving, exit me,
every other, other day…
I feel it enter, enter me,
a bone, to hold the dogs at bay.
I feel presence
deep within,
a war, in keep
of  mortal sin…
I feel a presence
within Sin—
and pray I be, Without--
again…
================
Unleash my hands
and let me be!
If I must die,
may I die free?
Upon my feet…
I’ll take the fall.
Upon my knees
I’ll beg for all -
that by my might
Live it again,
upon my knees—

to stand again.

Upon my knees,
I pray—ascend…

Re-write the curse
Of verse’s end…
===============

oh baby...
wow...this is amazing sen
may i echo Deer's reply ...
this brings me to me worshipin knees  
awesome writing me twin ...
feel ya here beneath me skin ...
me loves ya girlie-girl
me

Some people find subtlety in strangers
if you find anything~let me in
Your eyes~you see everything
my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

4 posted 2000-12-22 01:38 AM


Serenity, I have grown fond of your poetry  and this one, I confess, has got to be one of my favorites...
I thank you for sharing...
So into my library it goes for many more readings...

coco

CocoBaci
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043

5 posted 2000-12-22 01:39 AM



Gosh darn, I missed the thread button I apologize for this error

VAS
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450
Oregon
6 posted 2000-12-22 01:44 AM


Absolutely love the flow of this one.  It's an amazing piece.
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666
California
7 posted 2000-12-22 08:40 AM


Wow, serenity.  I love this poem.  The ENTIRE piece is awesome in it's sheer power.  Excellent write, dear - definately one of your best, imho.  


Michael



Kethry
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082
Victoria Australia
8 posted 2000-12-22 08:55 AM


Se'en,
No words, just astonishment and this:

You tame words like a maiden tames the unicorn.
Keth


Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon.


Mike
Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462

9 posted 2000-12-22 09:07 AM


Excellent poetry.  A true pleasure to read and experience.
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

10 posted 2000-12-22 12:58 PM


yanno? I feel like I just gave a party and almost all of my favorite poets showed up...thank you much...you've made my day!!!
Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
11 posted 2000-12-22 04:48 PM


Okay, so I am late to the party but it is only because I have been trying to learn new words for this lovely piece.  Will you forgive me.  I don't have the proper words to tell you just how "FANTASMAGICAL" this one was so I will just have to go along with the others and say, YOU HAVE NOW MOVED BEYOND THE REACHES AND CONFINES OF THE EARTH and now your poetry is soaring in the heavens with the rest of the stars.

A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses.
author unknown


Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
12 posted 2000-12-23 01:09 AM


Serenity-A wonderous piece.  Excellent writing.

Poeminister

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe


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