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Open Poetry #11
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Daybreak Roundelay
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Daybreak Roundelay |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada 
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There was a time from my fair pen when the softest words would flow. When the gracious bubbling fountain poured notes from heaven's fold. Long before the metal and long before the deals when sweet chords fell from the silence to the real. When there was no disguising and mystery hid in clouds and to the verdant hillsides I would sing aloud. And I walked upon the forest trails and bathed in waterfalls and my mind was filled with nature's thrills and rested on the call. And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come. A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late. In there with baited breath reserved for all they can keep, they see a golden calf wheeling through their dreams. And pushing for affluence where visions sail the mains they land on the hidden shores of legerdemain. Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze. Let's open the heart and let the blood flow and light the old campfire and sing songs we know. Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn across the still waters all the world is waking amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song. "We are the singers coming from the moonlight singing our love songs when the morning comes. Bringing new life and praising the daylight laying out our charms for work to be done" So over the hillsides and across the skies out of the wetlands their voice comes alive. Up the long rivers all the way to the head singing those love songs to bring out the dead. singing them out and making light known til sounds of the new day cover their tone. Another day hailed with a feast for the breath a praise to the living and the maker be blessed. Oh the songs of the future they've all been sung some heavy as metal and some lighthearted fun.... But over the hillsides and across the skies out of the wetlands their voice comes alive and everyday a new song above the ground revives. [This message has been edited by ethome (edited 12-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Eric Lewis True - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
This has a great lyrical quality - good one my friend |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
ETHome~ You surely knew I'd find my way to this beauty. 'But over the hillsides and across the skies out of the wetlands their voice comes alive and everyday a new song above the ground revives.' ABSOLUTELY lovely. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Poeminister Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862Regina SK; Canada |
"across the still waters all the world is waking amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song." ethome--Beautiful and melifluous rythm and flow in this piece...I like this muchly. Excellent writing. Poeminister< !signature--> "...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls- O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love." -Poe [This message has been edited by Poeminister (edited 12-20-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
There was a time from my fair pen when the softest words would flow. When the gracious bubbling fountain poured notes from heaven's fold. Long before the metal and long before the deals when sweet chords fell from the silence to the real. When there was no disguising and mystery hid in clouds and to the verdant hillsides I would sing aloud. And I walked upon the forest trails and bathed in waterfalls and my mind was filled with nature's thrills and rested on the call. And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come. A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late. In there with baited breath reserved for all they can keep, they see a golden calf wheeling through their dreams. And pushing for affluence where visions sail the mains they land on the hidden shores of legerdemain. Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze. Let's open the heart and let the blood flow and light the old campfire and sing songs we know. ===================== my oh my I do so love when me E-babes sings. this is SOOOOOO COOOOL Ethome... a visual and verbiage overload ... (Those first set of verses were stunning) all dressed up in that signature lyrical cadence of yours... what a treat this was to read aloud... there are so many cool images and words of wisdom in this ... "A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late" how way cool is that!!! WAAAYY COOOL VANTASTIC my sweet poet...YOU ARE  later-sing it to me-gator love to ya jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
P T this is so outstanding, I'm amazed and stunned. This is truly one of your utter best. You truly are so sensational, astounding and wonderful. Oh I really love it, really P T, this is first class absolutely fabulous. Oh WOW Take care Mushy Take back the hope you gave,- I claim Only a memory of the same Robert Browning |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
ethome? Methinks you are a "hobbit" at heart!!! This is truly exquisite.. "We are the singers coming from the moonlight" Yes, yes, you are...would love to sing a song or two with you...definitely a fire-side read! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Bill I can't seem to get away from the lyrical approach to poetry...I appreciate the comment...ethome Yes Marge it's true I did think of you when I was writing this the other day and I'm so glad that you stopped in to read it...take care....ethome Thank you Poeminister I sure do appreciate such wonderful thoughts from you...ethome Aw Janet me poetic pet yer tryin to outspoil me with your comments..thanks love for such exuberant comments and for feeling the music in this...like you can do so well ..you're such a VANtastic poet pal.....ethome Thank you my lovable mushy I sure appreciate your comments..I didn't realize that when I gave you back the superlatives that you were going to use them on me...and I'm so pleased. Thank you my sweet Acadian girl and I know you'd love to be sitting by that fire and singing or reciting some of yours and I'm right there willing to listen...merci Celeste! |
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John R Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 141Toledo OH |
I agree this has a great lyrical tone to it.. Your verse is exceptional. If a dream touches us, it exists to us as anything else that touches us. John |
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nakdthoughts Member Laureate
since 2000-10-29
Posts 19200Between the Lines |
Another day hailed with a feast for the breath a praise to the living and the maker be blessed. my favorite lines, although I enjoyed all...nice writing E ~Wynter "The worst prison would be a closed heart". ...Pope John Paul II |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
thanks John for taking the time to read...I appreciate the comments...ethome Wynter thanks so much for reading and picking your favourite lines I'm glad you enjoyed...ethome |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn across the still waters all the world is waking amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song. "We are the singers coming from the moonlight singing our love songs when the morning comes. Bringing new life and praising the daylight laying out our charms for work to be done" Told ya Id be back...and you know sweet poet man how much I love the music in your poems...and this just sings to me... |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
mmmmmmmmm*sigh* oh yes, sweet friend, I got lost in this one. Listening to the music of your words is delightful. *sigh* you always seem to fill me with such warmth. Much love and Christmas hugs to you from me. Love I leave with you my friend whether it be in your life or of yet the essense of your dreams. http://path2riches.com |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Lyrical and interesting. It has peeked my curiosity a great deal. You began with a particular rhyme scheme, then changed, then included assonance and dissonance, then returned to the original rhyme scheme. Also the line count at the bottom matched the beginning with only a slight variation. Is this a form you've created or does it have a name? There are so many forms of which I have no knowledge. Teach me. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
I would like to send this to my brother...he is into music as his art form and I think he would enjoy this...that is, sir, with your permission... I so enjoyed it! Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, than speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Paula for the kind words I appreciate the fact that you can hear the music in them ......take care ethome Startime your reply is just as warm and I'm glad to hear you mention the music in the words that's very kind!! Thank you ethome VAS in some songs there are parts that slow down and then speed up again and the rhyme scheme seems to follow the flow and timing.. and no dear poet friend it's not something I made up it's something that makes me up and I can't put my finger on the pulse of it because it changes all the time....thank you so much for your comments!! I appreciate them more than you know......ethome Sunshine you can send these words to whomever you please and thank you for your kind thoughts I appreaciate them so much.... ethome |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Huggle bunny, loved this one,the images and music stayed with me, long after I finished reading. I've just gone back for a second read and it's just as good this time around. Kethry (your picnic pal) Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Let's bring out the old guitar and sing to the trees and lay down some notes that sound like the breeze. Let's open the heart and let the blood flow and light the old campfire and sing songs we know. Within the tall greenwoods the secret is hiding the new day comes creeping with the breath of dawn across the still waters all the world is waking amoung the fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song. ============================================= Hey my friend, you really DO KNOW HOW to sing don't ya? Wow and double wow. I loved every verse, every word, and every thought in this wonderful piece. I got the guitar too, so do you mind if I just sort of happen by if I promise not to interrupt your song. You have truely outdone yourself in not only the imagery but in bringing to me some very visible feelings that can only be felt by those that have taken the time to really enjoy and take in the beauty around them, escaping the world and it's hustle bustle ways. I could and did get lost in this one and would love to come back to do so again so I guess that means another in the library for you my friend. I think I will put this one under "WAY COOL"(a mutual friend got me saying that) and "GROOVY"(that too) A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. author unknown |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Keth for the musical reply I really appreciate it so much....you have a nice holiday picnic partner....ethome Thank you Mark for the encouraging thoughts! Feel free to join in when you come by and we'll do a duet or even better if we have the Blue Moons singing background. Oh you didn't know about my back up group? Martie, Janet Marie and Serenity.....The Blue Moons...It's a wonderful thing it truly is...way too cool!.. I don't know where I've heard that one before....take care cowboy and have a nice holiday........ethome |
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BloomingRose Member Elite
since 2000-08-09
Posts 3092Florida |
among fresh dewdrops there lies a simple song A song can be heard in this one! Really good poem you have written. Deb  |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you so very much Blooming rose I'm glad you heard the music in this.....ethome |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I was in the mood for a song...and you never disapppoint...this just fir my mood so perfectly...thank you |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Paula I hope this fit your mood alright.....ethome |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Lovely language, lyrical and pure..I don't usually enjoy poems with long lines like this but this one was a wonderful read..especially to read aloud, flows very nicely with some terrific imagery, like: "And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come. A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late." good work!!! |
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Beki Senior Member
since 1999-09-15
Posts 1569Newport Beach, CA, USA |
Lovely language, lyrical and pure..I don't usually enjoy poems with long lines like this but this one was a wonderful read..especially to read aloud, flows very nicely with some terrific imagery, like: "And then the young winds rose to blow stick houses back to mud and faithful ones stood waiting for tears of truth to come. A time so overgrown with the glitter of the race with many a legend lost and gone and many a God too late." good work!!! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Beki I appreciate you taking the time to read this poem and giving your comments out...take care ethome |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Picnic pal, the third time's the charm but it still sings and it's still good. It don't better than that. Kethry Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks picnic pal I sure hope you can get some good food together cause I got some fab! wine and well, the rest will speak for itself. Thank you so much for the comments! |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks picnic pal I sure hope you can get some good food together cause I got some fab! wine and well, the rest will speak for itself. Thank you so much for the comments! Sorry hit the button twice! [This message has been edited by ethome (edited 12-29-2000).] |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
Oh the songs of the future they've all been sung some heavy as metal and some lighthearted fun.... But over the hillsides and across the skies out of the wetlands their voice comes alive and everyday a new song above the ground revives. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ `so true.......wonderful done my friend. ((hugs)) Charisma |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thank you Charisma for qouting the verses and I appreciate the comments......ethome |
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athena4 Senior Member
since 2000-12-10
Posts 622 |
Ethome, Let me catch my breath! What a work of art. Loved it. Elise |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Ethome~ Most wonderful writings my friend...well done ~HUG~ Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Thanks Athena for the work of art comment I appreciate you taking the time to read this....ethome Tracie thank you for taking the time to read this ....much appreciated....ethome |
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