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Open Poetry #11
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Holy Ground
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Holy Ground |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738
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The tempering of fragile heart, a painful steeling to belong, a-quivering in Eros' song, the alchemy of Cupid's dart. Just like the string, strung taut in arc-- in need of guidance to be strong, releasing chance, a glance among split of feathers' bull's-eye mark. Each of my targets, I did graze no mercy with a one-shot kill... my hunter's eye,was blind--amazed to never taste, yet have my fill. I dropped my bow, without a sound. In awe, I had found Holy ground. [This message has been edited by serenity (edited 12-15-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 serenity blaze - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
someone is stayin' up late 'round here  an intriguing write. "to never taste, yet have my fill." that says it all indeed. provacative, as always, m'friend. and now i am off to bed. You don't hear much about guys who take their shot and miss... |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
I was never one for a rhyme scheme, but you did a perty good job with this one. Awesome incorporation of that winged arrow slinger, he's my hero on occasion. |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
S'en* You nailed this baby...AWESOME!!!! I've been busy lately and haven't roamed these halls enough lately but to come back and read one of your pieces that hit me like this....wow....You are ever excellent my friend! Hugs~n~Love to you~ |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I don't think you can steel that fragile heart too much because you write so well... it'll always be open to recieve those of us that need to find you on holy ground.... great work Celeste!!! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The tempering of fragile heart, a painful steeling to belong, a-quivering in Eros' song, the alchemy of Cupid's dart. ================== Each of my targets, I did graze no mercy with a one-shot kill... my hunter's eye,was blind--amazed to never taste, yet have my fill. ================= look at me girlie playing with complex rhymes ... I've said it before ... you are so cool it hurts... this is awesome sen ...very cool the structure, the methaphors, the imagery, the alternating rhyme scheme, vocabulary choices, and of course the message of the emotions....the impact of those last two lines ... like I said baby...awesome ... love watching you play with poetry  me Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Hey ethan...surely you're not surprised to catch ME up late? NO...it's the only quiet time I seem to get...lol thank you, for reading my friend...I do hope all is going well for you! Phil--I used to write nothing but free verse...but I get bored easily...so I like to try forms...I find it challenging, like a puzzle. So I thank you much... Holly...There you are...been wondering where you've been, thanks for dropping in...hugs n love back to you...and we need a catch up session soon, okay? ethome---merci beau coup! You've been so good to me, hugs to you! JM...you are one marathon poetry queen...you really read intently, yanno that? Smiles and hugs, and the form/structure was my attempt at Spenserian sonnet. I used an eight syllable count per line, and I will e ya the rest...and you write one, okay? (don't panic, it's fourteen lines that rhyme in a pattern...no problem for you!!!) Thanks to all, I'm going off to read some poetry now...Hugs to the forum. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
stunned silence... excellent poem. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Startime Member Ascendant
since 2000-10-03
Posts 5918Canada |
*sigh* cupid's darts. It works well if he makes sure there is a matching one on the other end. This is wonderful writing. Much love to you from me. http://www.geocities.com/karenltorbiak/index.html |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Very interesting poem. You do good things in the middle of the night Sandra |
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Ramses Junior Member
since 2000-12-14
Posts 40Porsgrunn, Telemark, Norway |
Serenity... This poem has a nice rythmical flow to it that makes it even more exciting to read. Loved the message to. Love and respect from... -Ramses- |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Well my sweet friend, it looks as if those late nights you spend roaming the halls of your mind lend themselves to mighty good spent time. Superbly written as always and I too love the use of the metaphors in this one. Your "hunter's" bow may be resting on the ground but you have that little winged angel of yours piercing our hearts with all you touch you quill to. A life with love will have some thorns, but a life without love will have no roses. author unknown |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
nicely done..enjoyed your words.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
wonderful penned....love and enjoyed reading this lovely piece. Charisma |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
Hey girl!! This is a beautifully written piece. Lots of meaning, and lots of impact on me. HUGz <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. I don't question YOUR existance - GOD |
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spiked Senior Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 873Hammond, La USA |
Great write serenity but not sure how easy a patter it will be for me to follow. Will attempt soon Rich |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
serenity, Very well written my friend. Hey, congrats on #4000!!!  LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is the third time, I try to thank you all...and Jen? Thank you so much, for noticing, yes--grins, it was my post for four thousand...love to you...u warmed me heart...love you. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Se'en loved the liquid flow of this one. Congratulations on the 4000 many more. Write on Kethry Religion is for people frightened about going to hell - Spirituality is for people who have been there. Anon. |
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