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Open Poetry #11
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Before clichés
| Open Poetry #11 |
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Before clichés |
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artsygrl Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 55Florida |
It would be easier to tell you if I did not try, If I did not pour my everything in to the attempts But I did And only then do I feel a ting of failure Bit Bit down upon my quivering Bit down upon my lips to plead inside myself "Suck it up" made sense in a new meaning you glimps into when you are on the verge of experiencing, before clichés were just that, they were ideas only childlike understood, like the feeling a kid gets when he sees kisses before he has kissed As the tears starting falling I in a rage of emotional betrayal do bite down upon myself Flash flood of rage and frustrated emotions "I am not smart enough", "It is too hard" "I can, I can, and I can," "I can't give up" and everyone's opinions come flashing in like a flood of ideas I am left trying to acknowledge the obvious and take from the past God has a way of making things turn they way they should Have you ever gotten so mad that you car broke down but found out an accident occured where you would have been?.. makes you just want to roll with the punches Its what you see at a time you have almost died.. Have you ever almost been hit by a car stepping out ,but stopped by a stranger? And I struggle between not letting the pity take me and just realeasing the tears Thoughts of everything hovering upon my edged blacking tinged soul When just moments before I was collected...whole "Suck it up" thought and thoughts of : "I can't, I won't give up" shouted over While my tires become a rhythmic soother I move my lips in approval of where I will be And carry on the conversation, While others stare at the girl talking to her self I stare blank at lights While streams glare my eyes "I am so tired" I think while others do the uncomfortable dodge of eyes when they see girl crying Tears falling blankly.. Bet they been here I don't remember the drive as par usual And I don't remember the time Trying |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Wow........I am left not knowing what to say.....this is amazing!  -SEA |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
there ius nothing cliche' here ... this is well done and very original writing a powerful emotive flood of images and emotions ...expressed with intensity excellent writing take care jm Some people find subtlety in strangers if you find anything~let me in Your eyes~you see everything my eyes~I see it all together now~and I know |
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artsygrl Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 55Florida |
wrote this fresh from a bout of the blues didn't realize how chaotic it was...thanks for your kind reply SEA.. artsygrl |
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artsygrl Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 55Florida |
thanks so much Janet Marie, wasn't sure how it would go over...appreciate the reply.. artsygrl |
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VAS Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-16
Posts 7450Oregon |
Fantastically woven! If only we could remember those times that almost were when we are commiserating on the maladies we do meet in life. Roll, that's surely what we must, and perhaps realize that just maybe THIS is better than WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN. This is a piece to place in the memory banks! |
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artsygrl Member
since 2000-11-17
Posts 55Florida |
wow VAs, thanks allot. I needed that thankyou, popped on to see what was new on the board and your comment really made me feel good...Realizing that I should try to be freer in my life and my writing thankyou!!!!!!!!!! |
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