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Open Poetry #11
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kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore

0 posted 2000-12-11 04:11 AM


Rows of sweet smelling brightly lit candles around us,
Soaked in a red vine ocean,
we drink and make merry
and i toast to you, my lovely friend

the ground rumbles beneath us
a giant hole opens up to swallow us
and frantic, i turn to you for help,
secure of the fact that you wont desert me

but you are gone
only a snake lies before me,
its hissing tongue sharp and pointed,
intimidating doom

at this scarecrow,

Its ugly features register no emotion
as it hits the snake repeatedly
on the head
diluting the vine with dark red blood

and the candles topple over and the hungry flames roar, waiting
        
  waiting

to devour more...



© Copyright 2000 heng kaile - All Rights Reserved
serenity blaze
Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-12-11 02:24 PM


kaile, this is absolutely surreal...reads like one of nightmares (and I mean that as a compliment, btw..lol) a very vivid, visual piece of work here.
Dennis L. White
Senior Member
since 2000-02-17
Posts 1463
Michigan, U.S.A.
2 posted 2000-12-11 03:06 PM


Kaile,
  Nightmarish images for sure! These images jump out at you and leave an unsettling feeling (it is only a bad dream, it is only a bad dream). There! I feel better already! Graphic images congered up here!
Dennis :^)

Moonbeams radiate
When the veiling cloud has passed
Playful shadows dance

Dennis L. White :^)


kaile
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Member Ascendant
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146
singapore
3 posted 2000-12-20 11:50 AM


thanx serenity and dennis for replying...this is different from my usual style but im glad both of you liked
Nate Dogg
Senior Member
since 1999-11-15
Posts 1658
Georgia, Fulton
4 posted 2000-12-20 12:02 PM


It's different all right...powerful imagery...terrific write!

Nathan

kindasorta
Member
since 2000-12-02
Posts 56

5 posted 2000-12-20 12:04 PM


lol.....

where are the homeowners claim forms??  

prutty descrpt images here and gives one something to comtemplate when the ground rumbles and a hole opens up---RUN! RUN!  

Poeminister
Senior Member
since 2000-02-26
Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada
6 posted 2000-12-20 12:39 PM


kaile--The images indeed are very vivid.  Wonderful write.

Poeminister

"...no single sound too rude upon thy slumber shall intrude, Our thoughts, our souls-
O God above! In every deed shall mingle, love."
-Poe


doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
7 posted 2000-12-20 02:08 PM


YIKES!!!!!!!
really vivid dark stuff here... great writing

Mon Cherie
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since 2001-10-31
Posts 922
Land of Never-ending Summers
8 posted 2001-12-06 03:07 AM


Kaile, do you mean vine as in grapevines or wine as in red wine??  

I know what you mean here. Underneath these metaphors, I think you're talking about how you become as 'dirty' and 'bad' as the next person just to prevent yourself from being 'eaten alive' by him. Don't worry about it though, coz this is just a form of defence mechanism that most of us will build up to prevent harm from coming to ourselves. We're human afterall.  

_,,,^.^,,,_
Florence

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