deferred judgement (late entry for mark's visual challenge)

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jinxed
Member

since 2000-09-27

Posts 86

0 posted 2000-10-10 09:54 AM

i know this is late, but it just came to me lol...

                  deferred judgement

  my life's sentence teeters in the balance of
                        c
                    e       i
                d               s
            n                       i
         i                             o
                        n
                     action stills
                     seesawing on small smiles
                     safely
                     waiting for something
                     blameworthy
                     to
                       d
                       r
                       o
                       p       and upset the   b
                                                             a
                                                                  l
                                                                       a
                                                                              n
                                                                                    c
                                                                                          e

[This message has been edited by jinxed (edited 10-10-2000).]

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-06-21

Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song

1 posted 2000-10-10 10:14 AM

Wonderful portrait of one on a see-saw and it is never too late to enter the challenge. I would say that you have met the challenge in aces and beyond. EXCELLENT!!!!

Sunshine

Administrator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-06-25

Posts 63354
Listening to every heart

2 posted 2000-10-10 10:35 AM

Well shoot, I was going to say, never too late, and here, someone has beaten me to it, so I guess I'm too late...

but not for a WELL DONE!

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ

suthern

Member Seraphic

since 1999-07-29

Posts 20723
Louisiana

3 posted 2000-10-10 12:18 PM

"seesawing on small smiles"... I like that phrase a lot! Granted, there are times when I want to snarl "And just what are YOU smiling about?" to someone when their grin is just a bit too enthusiastic for my sour mood... but most of the times, even a small smile makes a positive difference. *S*

jinxed
Member

since 2000-09-27

Posts 86

4 posted 2000-10-10 01:50 PM

thanks you three, glad you enjoyed

and yep suthern funny how a smile (specially the ones from the little ones) can make a day sooooo much better

Justbleu
Member Elite

since 1999-08-31

Posts 3329
Oregon, Originally From Alaska :)

5 posted 2000-10-10 01:59 PM

This is wonderfully delightful....I loved it!! Can relate to it too!!!! NICE!!!!
Bridgette

"Somewhere, somehow, it should be possible to touch someone and never let go again. To hold someone, not for a moment but forever." Unknown

Marsha

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-07-10

Posts 7423
Maidstone Kent England

6 posted 2000-10-10 06:05 PM

Jinxed, you may be, but this is excellant, well done. Now I couldn't even begin to try the challange, so from someone who finds these challenges amazing but impossible, I say congratulations.
Marsha

Dee
Member Elite

since 2000-08-19

Posts 2330
Queensland, Australia

7 posted 2000-10-10 06:10 PM

Great poem, well done. It deserves a smile.
Dee

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