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Open Poetry #10
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Advice
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Advice |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Advice She was covered with love and when I hugged her I could feel a piece of Daniel, Daniel who had painted her lips red and touched her cheeks with rose… then touched her hair with flowers of and some dark and sensual musk that seemed familiar. She spilled her heart onto my teal carpet, her hands danced around her in a ballet that illuminated the stage, and then she waited for my applause, for all those long stem roses to be thrown at her feet and the bow of course would be with her arm around her heart. Love was what she had, and a fever of warm rain unsure let her vulnerable open, for she was waiting for me to say it was okay, okay to give everything she ever had, her children’s feelings, her microwave, the quilt of life that she had thrown across the living room couch, to dance. And love cannot be controlled, not by opinion, not by the days you took building up your defenses, not by broken vows nor all the tears that rock the salty ground, and so I said…. go for it girl, give it everything and enjoy each crazy, heated embrace…. But, watch out for the stars, baby, they follow a path that is always moving and this minute is all you have. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Simply beautiful Martie ... the visions you paint hold such emotion and imagery, that reading becomes an equisite experience each time I view your words.  Best wishes, /Kit |
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Rosemary J. Gwaltney Senior Member
since 1999-08-26
Posts 997northern mountains, Idaho |
Martie - this is very intriguing, and the last verse and the last line really struck me. You're skyrocketing to so many different subjects - I love that - I have trouble with that, myself. |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
People aren't open to contrary opinions when they are in love, are they? They only hear what they want to hear. Hopefully, when reality returns, they don't have too much devastation to clean up. Great writing, as always, Martie. |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
I think you know I'm a "follow your star" person when giving advice too - Maybe, just maybe the degrees of heartbreak we see ahead for others - are only felt that much by us - and they will be numbed a bit by the euphoria - and that will enable them to go on and higher. (somebody shut me up please) Martie - you write so very well - please submit more - work harder to be exposed |
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Mike Member Elite
since 1999-06-19
Posts 2462 |
if I have ever known anyone who goes for it with their poetry, it is you Martie... and me thinks the stars need to be looking out for you... |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Very beautiful my friend. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
She was covered with love and when I hugged her I could feel a piece of Daniel, Daniel who had painted her lips red and touched her cheeks with rose… then touched her hair with flowers of and some dark and sensual musk that seemed familiar. She spilled her heart onto my teal carpet, her hands danced around her in a ballet that illuminated the stage, ================== and so I said…. go for it girl, give it everything and enjoy each crazy, heated embrace…. But, watch out for the stars, baby, they follow a path that is always moving and this minute is all you have. ============== funny how love, when its new or right... makes us live in the moment and all is a fastforward blur... yet when we are hurting..time seems to stand still adn we can suddenly see with clarity you gave he honest sincere advice and you write her a beautiful poem filled wth your unconditional love for her... wonderful read sweet poet jm |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Martie, you seem to be able to generate stunning lines without any effort and bind them into a poem in a way which isn't contrived at all and just seems so natural - the parts of this that shine for me are: I could feel a piece of Daniel, Daniel who had painted her lips red She spilled her heart onto my teal carpet, and the bow of course would be with her arm around her heart. okay to give everything she ever had, her children's feelings, her microwave, >> loved the contrast there! nor all the tears that rock the salty ground, they follow a path that is always moving and this minute is all you have. wonderful martie philip |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Came back to read more awake this time and I must say my friend that you shine as always and your advice is one well taken and so full of truth and depth. The burning of a moments time knowing that soon it will be ashes either salty or sweet is all we have in each breath we take and as long as we tread carefully we must strive to take advantage of each tick of the clock. Excellent write my dear. You gotta know I loved it...why couldn't you have been around to advise me sooner?LOL Hugs to you |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Kit--an exquisite experience...how wonderful you make a simple reply...thanks you. Rosemary--I love skyrocketing...thank you for lettimg me know I did it. Denise--I hope she will continue to be as happy as she is now... Bill--As soon as I get my new printer...thanks for saying such a nice thing....you are a good friend! Mike--the stars have there own business to attend to...but it does sound nice, what you said..thanks, my friend! JM...not so funny when your going through the hurting part...I will be there for her no matter what. Philip--I love the way you reply...thank you so much for pointing out the parts of this poem that pleased you...it is helpful to know...glad you saw the contrast in that one...I was afraid it might be constued as un-sensitive... Mark--thanks cowboy for stoping by twice...I'm good at dishing out advice, not always so good at taking it... |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
life is a risk isnt it..and sometimes you just get your fifteen minutes of fame or just fifteen minutes of something haa..good one Martie.. |
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Seymour Tabin Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720Tamarac Fla |
Martie, Your writing is like a cool drink of water. And I was thirsty. Thank you. *L* Sy |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Victoria...Yes, I guess sometimes it is...thanks for stopping by. Sy...If I could quench your thirst I'm glad..thank you dear man for reading and for such a nice reply. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Martie, the images that your writing produces in my mind is amazing. Thank you "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" |
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suthern
since 1999-07-29
Posts 20723Louisiana |
This is superb... I know by now I should be prepared to be rendered speechless by your words... still, they carry me on a ride and leave me breathless. |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
Well then - When I need advice, I know who I'm asking... Good attitude, my friend..  |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ You are a loving and giving person. Your tender respect for the paramaters of love certainly are evident in your advice. 'her hands danced around her in a ballet that illuminated the stage, and then she waited for my applause' I can envision that moment. This is typical Maritesque ... splendid ! ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Robert Joseph Member
since 2000-10-07
Posts 491South Carolina |
But, watch out for the stars, baby, they follow a path that is always moving Martie, I enjoyed the way you scaled the wall of emotion, and then concluded with a bit of caution. Effective, and creative writing. Robert Joseph |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
This is wonderful advice and yes go for it...why not? There is always another day...to live to learn...to make dreams happen |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This is fantastic! Kathleen |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
superb....advice. love it. Charisma |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Thankyou for this, Martie. You may well be right. Hugs and love  K- it was not an unmusical sound: long, falling, half a sigh, like wind in the wires, or a train distancing. The Muse of Distance, A. Williamson |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
Library thing that I always forget. |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
ah....the last line there...yes, yes, yes! |
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