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Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla

0 posted 2000-10-09 03:18 PM


Rewrite, repost.

The Essence of a Rose

She glories on a tender stem
This rose that I review
Surrounding thorns as diadem
A majesty of blue.

Her osculate is not a whim
Nor I a foolish foil
She's knighted me the sweet of them
That brought my blood to boil.

I cannot hide this heart of care
These minions of reveal
I melt within this love I bare
Nor can I bare conceal.

Somehow I can not prune this rose
Her majesty extreme
I fear that she might decompose
And turn into a dream.

The mull, to pluck, to prune, to pluck
Or should I just stay, thunderstruck.


© Copyright 2000 Seymour Tabin - All Rights Reserved
Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA
1 posted 2000-10-09 03:22 PM


The essence of a rose is a rose is a rose.... *Sy*.. 'Tis sweet indeed..
Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
2 posted 2000-10-09 03:46 PM


Ah yes Sy, the temperate musings of fall...and if you should pluck, I shall gather the vase...
Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
3 posted 2000-10-09 05:25 PM


Nan,
So true, so true, so true. *L* Sy

Sunshine,
The vase, with water or with out water? *L*

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

4 posted 2000-10-09 06:19 PM


Does not a rare red rose when picked ... still smell as sweet
and if she's not spared ... will not winters cold deplete
passage of time alone ... will cause her to wither on thy vine
her fragility ....her lure ... her  essence so divine

her gifts momentary ... your heart she needs to capture
for she will live on in your memory  ... her grace of sweet enrapture
as time steals her away ... give her one last long parting look
then preserve her in your soul ... as you press her in the pages of a poetry book

******
*winkiewinkie*
I can think of worse ways to end up...
when I go...
I wanna be pressed in the pages
of a Shakes sonnet...
how about you?  

Your rose garden is lovely Sy-gator
jm


Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
5 posted 2000-10-09 09:19 PM


JM,
The poem is beautiful, is it yours? Thank you sweet for the beautiful comment. *L* Sy

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
6 posted 2000-10-09 09:44 PM


Well now Sy, that will depend...do we want to dry the rose, or breath one last fragrant waft of scent...that will determine with or without water...

and it's still a most lovely poem...

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

7 posted 2000-10-09 10:15 PM


well my sweet Sy...actually i guess you could say its yours now....as I wrote it for you as a poetic reply to your way cool poem...
and i forgot to mention in my above reply..
your vocabulary choices in this just blow me away...
later-poetic-rose-with-no-thorn-gator  
jm

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
8 posted 2000-10-09 10:18 PM


A wonderful command of language in this Seymour ... and such a perfect cadence, a pleasure to read aloud. Very well done!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
9 posted 2000-10-10 06:49 AM


Sy, I am thunderstuck by the beauty of this poem, and Janet Marie, with your superb response. I sit in awe of both of you
Liz

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
10 posted 2000-10-10 07:39 AM


Seymour~
Beauty of the rose comes to rest upon
the pages of your poetry.

Simply said -
it blooms !

JanetMarie, a perfect poetic response.
~*Marge*~


~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com



Seymour Tabin
Member Empyrean
since 1999-07-07
Posts 31720
Tamarac Fla
11 posted 2000-10-10 08:49 PM


Sunshine,
I think dry with a breath of fragrance. *L*

JM,
I can't tell you how impressed I was with your poem. Excellent. *L* Sy

Kit,
And yours a wonderful comment.

Elizabeth,
To awe your poetic prowess is something. Love Sy

Marge,
And you are no slouch, "Simply said it blooms." *L* Sy


brian madden
Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374
ireland
12 posted 2000-10-14 01:02 PM


Somehow I can not prune this rose
Her majesty extreme
I fear that she might decompose
And turn into a dream.

wow execllent piece, wonderfully written. A rose is a rose is a rose.  

"an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree
the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women".
Patti Smith

Mark Bohannan
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269
In the winds of Cherokee song
13 posted 2000-10-14 01:14 PM


My applause to you and JM both for exquisite verses beyond compare.  The language, the cadence, the content, and the flow are all amazingly beautiful.  I am now bowing to you both.  A duet might be in season as a treat to us all as I believe the two of you would re-define the term of modern day poetry.
water_stained_wisdom
Junior Member
since 2008-03-07
Posts 28

14 posted 2008-05-26 01:51 PM


    

these remnants of a voice and smile,
landscapes cloaked in forest green ...
like your life unfolding mile by mile.

V.Teng

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