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My distraction
| Open Poetry #10 |
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My distraction |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095
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You my distraction I turned mouth open wide like those clowns you see at a fair and I can still feel the roll of that ball of information you fed me damn I was so hungry for it I wanted so much to feel every bump of you as you zigzagged your way down my throat and I did I floated beside you like a long white cloud all nice and fluffy yes, because you fluffed me up enough to rest your head upon Dark Angel 7/10/2000 [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 10-06-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Dark Angel - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Wow!...Maree...your zap in this is zipping...and it doesn't feel like a soft white cloud....Really like this, girl! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
very cool poem girl!!! love the metaphors here.... very cool indeed... float on...enjoy the fall too  jm |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
waaaaahoooo? (is that how ya do it? grin.) Seriously, this is another excellent piece, DA---Love your style...and your phrasing is absolutely enviable! HUGS |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
WOW!!! ~DA~ I'm floating on this one Well done my friend  ~Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Not sure what your really getting at but, it sound hot and delicious to me for some odd reason. Love the way you put it together. Parker |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Wow, thanks Martie, I am so glad you liked it and I'll take the zip zapping as a compliment JM, thanks hon, fall I did Serenity, what a lovely compliment you pay Sista! Thank ye so very much hon Tracie, Thank you hon, hope you enjoy the ride hehe Haleyja, umm I don't know how to tell you this my friend, but it isn't what you think hehehe, but thanks for your lovely reply "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
Excellent!!! It's always a pleasure to read your poetry DA. |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Wow ... excellent writing Dark Angel! Loved the imagery you penned here, well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Marilyn Member Elite
since 1999-09-26
Posts 2621Ontario, Canada |
You go girl! The power in this piece is sensational! |
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Alwye
Moderator
Member Elite
since 1999-06-16
Posts 3850In the space between moments |
Excellent writing my friend! You have such a unique style....I love reading your stuff. *Krista Knutson* "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." -Confucious |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
maree it's not necessary for me to comment on the subject matter or the inspiration to be able to say that, although slightly different from your usual, this is one of the best i've seen from you. particularly like the the rather "light-weight" tone set up by the use of words such as "clown" and "fluffy" which nevertheless have a potentially more serious slant which resonates with such "fed me" and "damn".... excellent mixing of the feeding and clowning metaphors topped off in the final stanza by the ironic tinge provided by the apparently playful wording which also carried the underlying suggestion of vacuity. very well done philip |
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Marsha
since 2000-07-10
Posts 7423Maidstone Kent England |
I really like this one, doesn't sound all fluffy to me. This is a really good read, and written beautifully. Take care Marsha  |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
*wow* what can I say more than allready been said....it was a pleasure to read this one. great work. Charimsa |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
You know I've read this piece many times now. (didn't know that did ya?)  Each time the reader can get a different interpretation from it. DA you just seem to keep topping yourself in your writing! Where excellence and imagery come together. Keep it up angel, your writing is fantabulous! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Whtdove is right on all counts yanno M MP |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
I loved the last lines the poem built up to... i replied to this when it was new but i guess it didnt take so i am glad though that i can get it back on top |
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Severn Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704 |
'long white cloud' clouds can float so high and so far can't they Mmy? This is exquisite. There was a time I floated on such a cloud. I won't forget it - it meant a lot to me, that time. And this has reminded me of it. I think once you experience a bond like that it never goes away - even if the nature of it changes. My friend - this is definitely one of the best poems I have ever read from you. Be proud of this one. Love K |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Thank you Sharon, and it is my honour havng you read my poetry _Kit, thank you for stopping by and your lovely reply Wow Marilyn, thank you! Krista, Thank you and I love reaing your stuff too. Philip, Thank you dear MP, I appreciate the time you took to reply, and for your lovely compliment. Marsha, thank you so very much Charisma, thank you, thanks for stopping by Angel, yes you are correct, only after I posted this poem did I realise that it could be interpreted different ways. You pay me a wonderful compliment girl, Thank you Thank you Philip my dear Walty my friend, Thanks for popping in, I always do appreciate your comment dear one SB, indeed they can I couldn't agree with you more Thanks hon , to hear you say this poem is one of the best you've read from me, I can't xpress how much that means to me. Thank you! Mmy < !signature--> "If my words could blanket the skies and fill every corner and crevice of this earth, still this won't be enough" "Maree Russo" [This message has been edited by Dark Angel (edited 10-10-2000).] |
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Dee Member Elite
since 2000-08-19
Posts 2330Queensland, Australia |
What can I say that hasn't already been said? Great read, DA. Dee |
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Jamie Member Elite
since 2000-06-26
Posts 3168Blue Heaven |
very smooth Maree....... Jamie Tu ne cede malis, sed contra audentior ito. - Virgil. "Yield thou not to adversity, but press on the more bravely". |
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Alan Senior Member
since 2000-09-12
Posts 1499right next door |
Love can make you feel like you are floating or it can make you feel like a clown. Wonderful poem. I am looking forward to reading more of your work. |
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