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Restless Heart
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Restless Heart |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California 
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Restless Heart The fingers of her heart tap out the measure of her feeling, fragile tapered candles they spark on the cement where her need sighs long melting words. And all around her is a garden growing so much whatnot, lavished with wings, bees and hummingbirds surround her hair of dusk where embers glow with cinnamon. Listen to the sound of the stretching of her mind, it is stitching now a minute, growing colors, see there the lavender of abandon. I can see her from this window that distributes time wrapped in parchment and tied with twine. Her wings are splendid now and her eyes are prisms that cast a shadow that burns burns the quiet heart, torches the waiting pulse, breaths air into the coals. She is watching me, across the chasm of my vestibule she paints me with cinnabar and waits for me to walk with her out into someplace else. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-06-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Martie Odell Ingebretsen - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
The fingers of her heart tap out the measure of her feeling, fragile tapered candles they spark on the cement where her need sighs long melting words. ================ surround her hair of dusk where embers glow with cinnamon =================== it is stitching now a minute, growing colors, see there the lavender of abandon. I can see her from this window that distributes time wrapped in parchment and tied with twine. =================== She is watching me now, across the chasm of my vestibule she paints me with cinnabar and waits for me to walk with her out into someplace else. ================== "the lavender of abandon."??? "across the chasm of my vestibule"??? "she paints me with cinnabar"??? OH MAN... OK...now your just showin off!!! *winkie winkie* (just kidding) WHY DONT MY EYES SEE THESE THINGS OUT MY WINDOW!!! *stomping feet* Grrrrrr ... I dont even know where the "chasm of my vestibule" IS???? you just kick my poetic butt..do ya know this?? and I do so love it ... this is just beyond words... I think working in a flower shop around all those floral's wonderful perfumes MUST be the secret... can I have a job??? *sigh* .... ok..me and my BAD CASE of poetic envy are pouting on outta here...  later-vestibule-gator me |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Lol@JM!!! Another, brain massage from Martie! Every line is simply exquisite...sigh...wish I could write this pretty....brava, lady! |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Yeah I wished I could write like this too. Martie this is lovely  Sometimes you have to let go and move on, But never let go of the memories. |
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Oh Martie, this is superb!! I want more!! hehehe I want more! Listen to the sound of the stretching of her mind, it is stitching now a minute, growing colors, see there the lavender of abandon. ~sighh~ |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
'Tis a veritable herb garden of imagery... Simply lovely and sensory, my friend..  |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Absolutely beautiful, Martie! Denise |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
My warmest regards to whatever team of geniuses you have writing your poetry |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Genius, it is, but I can hardly speak after JM's rmarks. There's just nothing left to say. Except, Extraordinary! Liz |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet--you give me so much pleasure with this response...now, for one thing...your vestibule doesn't have a chasm...that's cause you wouldn't be keeping this person standing out in the yard...you would be inviting her in...and it is I that envy you for that!.. serenity--a brain message? I don't know, but I do know you write pretty...and you say nice things in your replies. Maria--I'm so glad you stopped to read and to let me know that you liked my poem. Maree--I try for one a day, but...don't always succeed...hey, and thanks for introducing Philip to me. Nan--A herb garden from you is a high compliment...thank you! Denise--thank you my friend. Balladeer--Stop that...you wern't supposed to tell anyone...seriously..you do say such nice things...blush! Liz--JM is the queen of saying it like she feels...and you are extraordinary! |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
Martie.... I don't even know what to say. This is awesome, I loved every word of it! I hate it when I really like a poem and I can't find the words to express my self GRRR! ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Okay....I know your secret to your vision....so what will ya do for me to keep it a secret.LOL....Martie...you are truely the queen of free verse and I think you need to write the next Websters for them so all of the definitions catch up to you. Superb penning by you with loads of imagery and you know how I love imagery....now I want to be just like you when I grow up you know. I mean in poetic style...not the ravishing woman thing you got going  .....Now let that poor girl in and feed her will you. Maybe a trip to your fields would do her just fine.LOLOL....chhhheeeeezzzzz...did I just say that? LOL...yeah so slap me silly and play rodeo with me til dawn.  |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
What can I say that those before me haven't said? - all the best adjectives all the best adverbs - already used - and JM ! - I must strive to emulate her - the repiles she makes are a worthy read in and of themselves. Just keep writing Martie - I will shut up and be content |
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Rex Allen McCoy Member Elite
since 2000-01-30
Posts 2863Sippin a Timmy's in London |
I'd be tempted to leave a trail of bread crumbs Beautifully written Martie |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
Martie, I'm glad you didn't post this in CA or I might have spent half a day reading and critiquing it. It certainly has enough depth of metaphor and allusion to justify a good deal of time, along of course with what i see in all your poems; unusual imagery. I'll just content myself with saying that I thought you were maybe using metaphor and natural imagery to portray an "alter ego". The possibility of a second self or an expanded and adventurous dimension to a personality currently trapped or locked in the "cement" of a familiar existence, an existence "wrapped" and "tied with twine", yet surrounded by all the multitude and colourful possibilities of life "And all around her is a garden growing so much whatnot" if only she can get there! (Loved all the gardening allusions btw - and also the repeated play on fire or flames - "melting" for instance). The way you move towards the end of the poem to a fairly overt statement of the imprisoned looking out from her window is good as well - the speaker sees the possibilities, yet is prevented from reaching them by a "chasm", i suspect maybe of her own making? "vestibule" was an especially great choice of word. the image of a porch or hallway separating the outside from the inside but also, as Webster reminds us: "a course that offers access (as to something new)" the parenthesized phrase obviously adds that extra dimension which makes the word perfect. "I can see her from this window that distributes time" Particularly like that phrase, very poignant and thought provoking. and a nice closure too - though "someplace" isn't a word where i come from ....lolMartie i really enjoyed this, as well as being beautiful, it was a challenging and rewarding read. Philip |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Irie--awesome is a wonderful thing to say. Mark--Fields huh, you are such a cowboy! and a good friend...thanks! Bill--You always make me smile with your wonderful replies...thanks, my friend. Rex Allen--trail of bread crumbs..LOL..good idea! Philip--Wow...thank you for this in depth viewing of the poem...you see things that I don't even see. I am thrilled that you took the time to comment at such length...I must learn how to do this if I am ever to post in CA. [This message has been edited by Martie (edited 10-07-2000).] |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Martie~ Nobody does it better ! 'she paints me with cinnabar and waits for me' ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
My goodness Martie!!! They've all beat me to the punch with every wonderful adjective possible. I will have to satisfy my need to tell you much I adored this, by simply saying: "I loved this ... your talent for imagery leaves me speechless" Beautiful work! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Marge--Glad to see you sweet lady...thank you. Kit--You always say something nice, even when you're speechless. |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
You have a gift! Thank you for sharing it with us. Kathleen |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
Uh huh.....what everyone else said. Your poetry always shows me such lovely images Martie, simply extraordinary!!! Bonnie |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Irish Rose and Bonnie--thank you both for reading my poem and for making such nice comments...I really appreicate it. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
This one needs to go back to the top. It is too beautiful to be back here. |
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