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Open Poetry #10
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The Things You Couldn't Say
| Open Poetry #10 |
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The Things You Couldn't Say |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
~The Things You Couldn't Say~ Tonight you came back in my life ... I once thought you were gone to stay. Tonight I felt the winds of change ... felt the sharp chill of strange, felt my life rearrange ... in the words you couldn't say. Tonight you let me know you were near ... and your emerald eyes lit up my way. But what you couldn't see was me crying ... on the other end of the line ... as the me in you was dying, and there was no denying ... the words you couldn't say. Tonight I told you how I still felt ... that my love had not gone away. The silence from you was a deafening sound ... like my tears that I now hope in which to drown, tonight all my losses are found ... in the words you couldn't say. Tonight the neon moon wont shine ... and the stars fall and fade to gray. And like loneliness ... the rain comes in ... and I know I'll never feel like this again, and I feel the distance closing in ... in the words you couldn't say. Tonight I held you one last time ... and for the strength to let go I now pray. And I ask the angels to dance and sing ... let my love be the wind beneath your wings, as I set you free of these things ... of me and the words you couldn't say. Janet Marie (old one rewritten and revised) (not previously posted) |
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| © Copyright 2000 Janet Marie - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Janet~ this brought on the tears....the talent you have is incredible.......  -SEA |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Janet-- "The silence from you was a deafening sound" You have penned the pain of loosing, of letting go, and wanting to hold on...and again you lay your feelings out...Hugs! |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
couldn't hold my eyes dry...even when its an old one, it still carried your sadness. great expression f your feeling. Charisma |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Funny how much the silence speaks volumes...been holding this one out on me? Loved this, of course, as we live out our parallel lives...sighs....I miss m'boy too... Love sucks. (Hmm. That just looks funny, typed out, but YOU know what I mean...) |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Browneyes, another lovely piece here. You just love to swell up the eyes and you do it in such beautiful style. hugs and kisses for this one..... and whatever else your wanting soul desires. P |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Well, it's the first one that made me cry in a long time. So sad and beauiful Sometimes you have to let go and move on, But never let go of the memories. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Tonight I held you one last time ... and for the strength to let go I now pray. And I ask the angels to dance and sing ... let my love be the wind beneath your wings, as I set you free of these things ... of me and the words you couldn't say. Janny~ Beautiful and tender piece Very heartfelt HUGS Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Janet...Oh girl this is just so heart breaking... |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
I was going to pick lines....but I just can't the whole thing is exquisite and soooooooooo......piercing. Wow sweets...pull out all those old ones and get to work!!!! This is tender and powerful and so full of heart and soul...tis what fills the poets pen....and you've got it overflowing!!!!! Love you my SS~ |
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Mona Lisa Member
since 1999-08-25
Posts 100Halifax, Nova Scotia |
I totally agree with the others...this was very touching. Sometimes we can't put our feelings into words and our emotions do all the talking. Nicely done. |
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA |
Janet MArie...you are one of the few people I would actually share a spam sandwich with. After this poem, I'd share the whole can with you ;( |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
JM, Powerful piece here. Your description is so realistic I felt like I was there. I have heard the silence before and I know how deafening it can be. Good writing. Lone Wolf Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Nan
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-20
Posts 21191Cape Cod Massachusetts USA |
This is wonderful, Janet - a superb theme expressed in a wonderfully creative format... I likes it - I likes it!!...  |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
What beautiful emotion expressed so wonderfully! As some have already said, this was 'piercing.' I loved it!! sp  Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: 'it might have been.' -John Greenleaf Whittier |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
JM my friend....this is such a great new scheme for you in the rhyme and style....I loved it both silently and aloud and you know what that means don't you???? YOU are the POET now...lol....ain't paybacks a witch.... The love and yearning in this one screams out in every live so it is impossible to pick my fav but I will anyway....it is below ....Hugs to you."Janet Marie"---yeppers that is My FAV line....but I also loved the poem as well but you know this so why am I inflating your head for you.....(cause you deserve it) |
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Irie Senior Member
since 1999-12-01
Posts 1493Washington State |
JM, ..I'm sending you a bill for the box of tissue I just went through!  You've penned some very powerful words and evoked some deep feelings and thoughts out of me! Hats off to you girl! ~Sheri "The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first" |
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seraphin Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1004Michigan |
Oh my! Absolutely beautiful. Not one line more so than the next. Just a symphony of emotion. I bow to you! |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
JM- the ever-present, effervescent poet. so many of yours i read about heartache, and you ALWAYS find new ways to spin the topic without being redundant. what talent... this one i really can relate to...the words that don't come out seem better than silence at the time. in retrospect, of course, the silence says all the same things but with an icy demeanor. -------------- on the other end of the line ... as the me in you was dying, and there was no denying ... the words you couldn't say. Tonight the neon moon wont shine ... and the stars fall and fade to gray. And like loneliness ... the rain comes in ... and I know I'll never feel like this again, and I feel the distance closing in ... in the words you couldn't say. --------------------------- you ARE an artist. and if i may quote you... you ROCK peace, E< !signature--> I am reminded of the immortal words of Socrates, who said, "I drank what?" [This message has been edited by Ethan_Halo (edited 10-07-2000).] |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
When I think of where contemporary poetry is going - may go - and my hope for it - If anyone should ask - who they should look to for a sign - that fresh, beautiful (and sometimes sad) still is being written - I'll point to this - and you |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
JM, This is very vivid in it's description...a place many of us have been far too many times. Your words always hit home with me and this one really hit home. Thank you for sharing it. ((HUGS)) Wise man say "Those who live in the past let the future sneak up on them" and "Make each moment count, it could be your last" |
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Tara Simms Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 1244Honea Path, SC USA |
How do I let you know it’s over? That I just can’t go on this way? My heart is hurting from the thoughts That form the words I couldn’t say My feelings for you haven’t changed I love you as much as yesterday I’m so afraid of hurting you It shows in the words I wouldn’t say It kills me to know you’re crying I don’t want to watch you walk away But there’s nothing more to talk about I said it all in the words I didn’t say **************************************** Few things hurt more than things left unsaid. Take me as I am or watch me as I go |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
it's just wonderful, Janet Marie, you've outdone yoursself on this one! Kathleen |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Wonderfully written and unique in form Very beautiful, JM This ones for keeps Liz |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
"But what you couldn't see was me crying ... on the other end of the line ... as the me in you was dying, and there was no denying ... the words you couldn't say." "The silence from you was a deafening sound ... like my tears that I now hope in which to drown, tonight all my losses are found ... in the words you couldn't say." Exquisite Janet Marie! What a fresh, unique style you'e spun with these words. I loved the flow in this, and such beautiful sentiments you've woven ... big hugs to you JM! Best wishes, /Kit |
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EagleOne Member Elite
since 2000-03-07
Posts 2829Between a laugh and a tear... |
Great writing Janet, sometimes it's the words that aren't spoken that are the most powerful. "The heart and soul have no illusion of boundries when friendship is the quest" ~ My Angel. |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
THANK YOU so much my fellow poets... ALL of these replies are so wonderful.. so full of your honest emotions... thank you for allowing my words to evoke such emotion from you and sharing them with me... Nan....thank you much-- for your compliments on the format and structure... it means a lot coming from you. Balladeer ... thank you sweet sir...you bring the spam and I will bring the raspberry tea ...we'll have a picnic Wilfred...OH MY!!...THANK YOU SIR... that is one of the best compliments I've ever been given on my poetry ... I hope to be able to live up to it...I'll talk to my moody muse *smile* but again..thank you VERY much for such encouraging words. Parker..whatever I desire????better be careful what ya let ME wish for sweets... I'll Email ya with my list LOLMark....you ARE gonna spoil me and make my head swell ... TY my sweet cowboy poet. love you too. Ethan, sweet Sen and me sweet SS.... *kisskiss* me loves ya babes Tara...thank you for sharing that lovely and perfect verse...yes... the words unspoken often speak the loudest to our hearts. THANK YOU ALL for the reads and amazing replies!!! love ya love poetry LOVE POETRY LAND < !signature--> There are places inside our souls - that have never been touched. There are places inside our hearts - that need to be loved this much. ~jm~ [This message has been edited by Janet Marie (edited 10-08-2000).] |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
and THIS jan girl is why i love you so much. full of such compassion and heart and soul is your writing just like the poet who writes these beautiful pieces of art. i will always be in awe of your talent and you as a person. just beautiful this is as you are. take care. love ya, amy "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Amy.... ya never cease to put a smile on my face.. thank you sweets... your always my cheerleader of sunshine.. its so great to have you back here later-aimster-gator me |
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