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Open Poetry #10
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That Star You See (a sonnet)
| Open Poetry #10 |
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That Star You See (a sonnet) |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
 That Star You See Oh, cold and callus wind from northern sky, Your bite has numbed the pain I feel this night; Pray do not cloud my search with chilling lies. That star I seek is just beyond my sight. She is the one who shines with em'rald eyes' And calls to me from distant dreams at night; I only hope she’s just below the rise, Where love and dreams do hide from courting rites. Is it so wrong to wish on falling dreams, That spark the love, to fill a lonely life; Or fruitless quests that bleed this heart in me, Are but a hopeless lot that is my spite, But still my love I know you look tonight, I am that Star you see that is so bright. James Parker Haley (c) Sept 4, 2000 [This message has been edited by Nan (edited 10-08-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 James Haley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Dark Angel Member Patricius
since 1999-08-04
Posts 10095 |
Very Beautiful Haleyja  enjoyed it muchly! |
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insect Senior Member
since 2000-04-22
Posts 1014 |
Nice writing Parker I hope it's not an overcast tonight!  |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Parker--this is a wonderful sonnet!!!, not that I know a sonnet from a not-a-sonnet..but I do love how you write! |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
* backflips* *cartwheels* ... OH baby...another P-man sonnet!! and another awesome one at that... love your cadence sweet tease ... you just been read aloud love the vocab and Shakesp. phrasing as well back on your pedestal ya go ... (guess Im gonna have to get green contacts) *winkie winkie* later sweet sonnet-gator me |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Ditto what my friend JM said with the acrobatics....if you want me to come a jumpin just put up a sonnet and I will be here. WONDERFUL sonnet sir....(of course). It is so nice to see you back and posting again. Excellent way for me to start the night off. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Dark Angel, thank you sweetly. insect, its never overcast in dreamland. Martie, thank you very much. Janet, brown-eyes don't worry I love brown eyes too.. thank you for your sweet reply. Mark your words are always appreciated. thank you. Parker |
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Butterflies_dont_cry Member Elite
since 2000-03-06
Posts 3733Michigan |
Parker* Another beauty from the soft sonnet side of you...**sigh** it was a lovely view |
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Marina Member Elite
since 2000-02-10
Posts 2245Pickering, Ontario |
James, you are simply an absolute natural at writing this type of poetry!!! This is so beautifully penned, but eh......just one thing........my eyes are Carribeean blue not emerald! Oh......I see......... SORRY!!! LOL  Couldn't resist! Marina It is a blessing to have wings for words, and passion in pen Marina Crossley |
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Wilfred Yeats Member Elite
since 2000-08-04
Posts 2704Wilmington, Delaware |
James - - You made it appear that attending to the discipline of sonnet - were no effort at all - A truly beautifully polished gem! |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
I wish I may I wish I might....oh Parker...please can I wish on your star? |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
I've often thought stars were cold in reality they burn red hot gases explode sans atmosphere fading to a far away spot all focus upon that distant sphere searching, a never ending quest for what humans have always felt a need, a drive, seeking love where hearts have forever dwelt like something falling from above intangile, just out of reach like grains of sand on our beach. Corinne |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Butterflies, thank you your sweetness, glad to see you fluttering by. Marina, thank you.... I didn't know there was such a colour, I thought you just made that up..... hmmmm what rhymes with carribeean. Wilfred, well thank you, though I think that praise may be a little high and could explode my head. Paula, please do wish on my star anytime, its right there polaris the north star. Corinne, thank you for that lovely reply. I'd love to visit your beach anytime.... oh, you got some sand caught there.. i'll get it. Parker |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
dont mind me...I was so busy getting out your pedestals I forgot to check the box to put this jewel in my library file ... silly me "Is it so wrong to wish on falling dreams, That spark the love, to fill a lonely life; Or fruitless quests that bleed this heart in me, Are but a hopeless lot that is my spite, But still my love I know you look tonight, I am that Star you see that is so bright." forgot to tell ya which verses I liked best too ...( all of em) ... OK BOX is checked this time ... your in my file now .. under P ....for p-man...most of all for POET later-starshine-gator browneyes |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Parker, although my eyes are blue, I AM SEEING Green, now...a lovely piece of work here m'friend...just love it when ya get all romantical...sigh... |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Janet, well check me in that box anytime. serenity, hopeless romantic I guess, all those sigh's just make it hard to resist. Parker |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Parker, my friend, may I hold this in a very special place in my heart...this was wonderful and I enjoyed every line... Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?...KRJ |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
Is it so wrong to wish on falling dreams, That spark the love, to fill a lonely life; Or fruitless quests that bleed this heart in me, Are but a hopeless lot that is my spite, But still my love I know you look tonight, I am that Star you see that is so bright. ooh this is nice parker..i like ..very much.. couldnt help but look--it was you? hugs, dg theres no such thing as a failure who keeps trying--coasting to the bottom is the only disgrace. -j popper |
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MMoonchild Senior Member
since 2000-07-13
Posts 1715PA |
very beautiful sonnet, Parker... Falling Dreams How sad the nights, as darkened shadows loom, The moon in all it's glow has hid it's face. For dreams of yesterday have turned to gloom. Treasured memories, leave no imprint, trace. Her hazel eyes that changed from blue to gray, Hold back the rivers flow of lonely tears. And yet a glint, a twinkle, seems to play Upon your face, eyes search to quell the fears. To wish upon a lonely star, it seems In hopes that out there, someone captures sight. Then two on one will reach to share the dreams That fall below to rest upon this night. The falling dreams once shared of yesterday Will someday rise on high to light the way. M(inspired) 10*2k |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Sunshine, thank you very much, and please do. dg, thank you sweets, it was. Mmoonchild, a loverlier sonnet I've never seen. Thank you for this beautiful reply. I obviously must be remis in missing your work, your a wonderful writer. Parker |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Parker - great sonnet - enough to make any woman swoon. I find this style difficult to carry off, yet you do it with aplomb. Corinne - your poem is so beautiful - I can see the stars, and feel their heat in the sand with this lovely metaphor you've chosen. Maureen - Please post your sonnet where we all may find it. It is truly beautiful. [This message has been edited by LngJhnAg (edited 10-06-2000).] |
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SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Parker~ See, now I don't get that Spiderman thing, now it's a Cowboy....  A VERY romantic Cowboy....change it to brown eyes though....mine are brown.... Really, this is beautiful. -SEALive,Love,Laugh :) ~SueB |
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Charisma
since 2000-09-30
Posts 5906lost in blue pages |
beautiful....enjoyed to read this.. looking out for more....  ) |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
very beautiful Parker... |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Long John, thank you... I do like a good swooon poem... SEA, emerald eye's is just my way of saying Irish eye's, so your eye's will do just fine... Charisma, thank you.... so is that a pic of you at your web site.... nice either way. Victoria, thank you very much... Parker |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Just came by to add to my library as I didn't do it the first time. Sincere question for you my friend. Honestly, how long did it take you to be able to write a sonnet with all the rules that they have and what was your biggest obstacle or did you just take to them like water. I am trying to do one but so far nothing I would dare post. Thank you in advance for any tips you can give me. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Mark, check out Nan's morsels somewhere on the site, her stuff helped me get started. I'm still in the started mode, and have a long way to go.... just getting that first one off gives you alot of confidence to keep trying. Also I sent you an email tell me if you got it. Parker [This message has been edited by Haleyja (edited 10-07-2000).] |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Well done Parker, I just love a sonnet! I have one suggestion: The meter seems a tad off in the first line of the second stanza. I think changing it slightly to: 'She is the one who shines with emerald eyes' makes it flow better. What do you think? Denise |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Check your email, Parker.... |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Denise, I tried to fix it here but of course i'm past the 24 hours limit so I can't put in. 'She is the one who shines with em'rald eyes' Maybe you could help me and update it... thanks. Parker |
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Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648 |
Parker, I tried but I'm not authorized to do that in this forum, I guess. We'll have to get one of the Open Moderators to make the change. Denise |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
denise, I guess its fix so one last round. Parker |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Excellent sonnet Parker a real deep and yearning nostalgic write..just great poetry I loved the atmosphere ...much enjoyed... ethome |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very, very nice Parker....James |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
..just as sweet, the 2nd time around... ...hugs, dg "so lift your heart with mine...the depth to which it grieves is the height to which it can celebrate!" -Lisa Hussey |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
loved this |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
ethome, thanks fellow Canuck.. James, thank you. dg, i'll go as many rounds with you as you want. vandana, thanks very much. Parker |
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Rosebud1229 Senior Member
since 2000-04-05
Posts 1813North Carolina |
very nice Parker, there's something about the stars that brings out the beauty that so often stays hidden behind the clouds, I loved the way you inspired one to look for the star, just as we should not always look at the downfalls of someone we should try to find the good qualities which often leads to even better things. |
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Parker Member Elite
since 2000-01-06
Posts 3129ON |
Rosebud, thank you... and I agree whole heartedly. Parker |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
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