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Open Poetry #10
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I Can still....
| Open Poetry #10 |
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I Can still.... |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA 
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I Can Still.... I can still hear your voice Cutting through the crowd I can still hear your laughter Echoing through the room I can still feel your touch In the cold lonely night I can still feel your breath As you whisper what I long to hear I can still feel the warmth Of your body next to mine I can still feel my tears As I long to say good bye < !signature--> ~~Tara aka rp25 [This message has been edited by rosepetals25 (edited 10-03-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Tara Baldridge - All Rights Reserved | |||
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
Tara--sad but eloquently sweet, speaks perfectly of the ghost of memory...I enjoyed this much! |
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LngJhnAg Member Elite
since 1999-07-23
Posts 3508Boot+Kitty=Poetry in motion |
Tara - lemme get this straight - you can still feel all those things, and you are still gonna dump him??? This must be a poem about either Balladeer or Toerag, because they are definitely the most dumpable. I like the repition you used in this poem, and the way you turned the tables at the end by becoming the dumper instead of the dumpee. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
serenity - Thank you  I'm glad you stopped in.LngJhnAg - Hmmm.. I re-read my poem with new eyes after I read your reply.. I didn't write that with that in mind.. but know I can understand. I am not dumping anyone.. let me assure you  . Thank you for stopping in. ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
RosePetals, I read this poem and I like it very much... "I can still feel my tears as I long to say goodbye".... nice choice of words PoetFriend |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
I can still hear your laughter Echoing through the room I can still feel your touch In the cold lonely night I can still feel your breath As you whisper what I long to hear ================ RP Im so glad Coco brought this back up .. im sorry to have missed it before..I try to watch for yours... we've outgrown the forums I think.. I cant seem to keep up ... this is a sincere, tender, piece from you. so much emotion expressed well in a few well chosen lines. its beauty is in its bittersweet melancoly well done poet girlie  take care jm |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
RP...such a tender touching piece. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
I read of a search for closure in this and I hope that if that is what you are seeking then you find it. If I am mistaken then I guess with a little explanation from you I can read it again and retrain my overworked peanut of a brain.lol...tenderly written no matter what and you know I will be back to re-read both the poem and your response. Hugs my friend. |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
CocoBaci - Thank you for repling. I have to say I was surprised when I checked my mail and saw a notice from passions...lol. I'm glad you liked it. Janet - Thank you. To know you keep a look out for my name is very flattering. You haven't missed much recently.. here late I haven't been writing  But I am hoping that changes... Anyway..lol.. thank you for stopping in. I'm glad you liked it.Paula - Thank you also for your nice words Mark - Well.. I'm not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this. I was thinking of a past relationship that I thought I had closure in. I saw my ex that day.. and this is what came out. I have no desire to be with him... I am very much in love with my soul mate.. even it this poem seems to be saying different..lol. Did that help at all? Thank you for stopping in ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
I read your explanation to Mark and that helped me a lot ...I think this is a very tender reflection and it pours from the heart ..I enjoyed the read very much...ethome |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
ethome - I'm glad my explanation helped And I'm glad you liked it.. thanks for stopping by. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
enjoyed it a lot!!!!!!! |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
RP25~ after I read the explanation, then read the poem again, I think I understood.......kinda just looking into the past without feeling it.....I liked this a lot -SEA |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
vadana - I'm glad you liked it  SEA - That is about what it was.. remembering the pain I once felt maybe. I dont't know..lol. I do know that I'm glad you stopped in and that you enjoyed it. Thank you ~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wonderful piece RP, and I read it just like LJ. How bout something for the last line line like..... "I can still feel my tears As you said I'm your's till I die" just a thought... jwesley |
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rosepetals25
since 2000-05-31
Posts 3076PA |
jwesley - Thank you for suggestion And for stopping in.~~Tara aka rp25 :o) |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
sigh |
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