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A home without a wall, |
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| How to Join | Member's Area | Private Library | Search | Sanctuary | Login | |
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| Main Forums | Discussion | Tech Talk | Mature Content | Archives |
A home without a wall, |
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| Open Poetry #10 |
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Comet and the Sun |
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Richard Brooks Junior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 17Richardson, TX |
Twenty years had come and gone Since last the comet passed the sun. A long time for a man and woman, But not for ice, rock, and inferno. Ice and rock! What do these mortals know. They look at him with glass and metal, And claim they know all about him. Their science has hardly scratched the surface. Deep within this cold shell beat the heart of A lover who was now streaking towards his love. She who brought life to all was his passion. His heart burned for her alone. She saw him coming as he had before, Just a speck in the distance. She enjoyed his visits to her side. What would it be this time. Each time he would spread himself on her breath, enticing her to look his way. She would smile and watch as he passed Always cautioning him not to get too close. I have never been too close Each pass I make at her, she laughs And blows me way saying Next time my love, next time. Could I but live an eternity like this Locked in her orbit. Passing so close And dancing on the solar winds Spreading myself as an Angel's wings. What was going on? The comet has changed course. All mankind's instruments measured and watched As the comet's tail flared longer and brighter Pushed by the sun as it plunged to it's death. Oh no, what is he doing? I don't have time for this. Doesn't he know what will happen? Stop! You don't have to do this. Oh my God. Oh my love. Oh my. He flew into her, her hot breath pushing at him Until his cold, rocky shell was burned away, Blown back in a magnificent tail that many Called a beautiful memorial to the fated comet. A small blue-green planet circled the sun People there watched in awe, as the scientist explained What had happened, and accepted the 'facts'. All but one man and one woman sitting together on a hill. They knew the truth. The comet and the sun Were one, just as they were. Joined in tight orbit In the warmth of each other. The sun seemed brighter As the flush of love satisfied. They kissed. I am not dead my love, I am here inside you. Yes, my love, I know. I feel your heart beating Within me. I shall cherish the memories of our Dance, and hold you within me forever. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Richard Brooks - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
Wow Richard! This is the first poem that I have read by you and I am impressed. I love this, the theme, the love and your way with words. Welcome to passions  Take care, Melissa Honeybee The beauty of poetry gives my soul wings to fly free within dreams |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
Richard, this is a poem of cosmic proportion. Wow! Be well Kethry "It is the image in the mind that links us to lost treasures; but it is the loss that shapes the image, gathers the flowers weaves the garland."- |
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Marge Tindal 
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
RichardB~ This is a powerful piece of poetry. Very well done, indeed. You might enjoy this little piece from The Corner Pub ... fits nicely with your display of cataclysmic events, on another plane or perhaps in close alignment. /pip/Forum27/HTML/002239.html I sure enjoyed your images. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ noles1@totcon.com |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Richard~ tis a shame for me only to have started to read your work today. this was awesome!! let me extend a heartfelt welcome to Passions. You truly have a talent for poetry...that is clearly evident here in this piece of work. i loved the imagery in this one. how you compared the comet to that of love between man and woman. this was almost like a story woven with beautiful words of love and even suspense. thanks for sharing this gem! i look forward to reading more of your work, hopefully in the near future. take care. amy "The head learns knew things, but the heart forever more practices old experiences" |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Richard--What a most interesting and beautiful love story...so original!!! |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
I have chills, honestly...this is just...CREATIVE? lol...truly, truly beautiful, and very close to my own philosophies....thanks Richard (and mom for pointing it out) |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Each time he would spread himself on her breath, enticing her to look his way. She would smile and watch as he passed Always cautioning him not to get too close. I have never been too close Each pass I make at her, she laughs And blows me way saying Next time my love, next time. Could I but live an eternity like this Locked in her orbit. Passing so close And dancing on the solar winds Spreading myself as an Angel's wings. ================== wow..I LOVE the metaphors and comparisons in this unique and imagery rich poem wonderful creative work here ... love the sensual intensity in it as well superb writing take care jm |
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ellie LeJeune Member Elite
since 2000-01-10
Posts 4156King of Prussia, PA USA |
Richard; This is by far, the most beautiful love poem that i have ever read. Be very sure that it is put up for the next book, Bravo! Magnificent! Ellie Summers haunting melody that awakens the butterflies, calling them to join the dance in their silent song of praise to God. eL |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
Welcome to Passions Richard! I absolutely loved this wonderful story ... incredible imagery woven together so beautifully ... very well done! Best wishes, /Kit |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
Richard, to say I am impressed would be to put it mildly. This is one powerful piece of creativity and one to remember for sure. Your quill seems to like you alot and your muse must have been sent from heaven. Excellent write in every way. |
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tracie66 Member Elite
since 2000-01-18
Posts 4713Australia |
Richard~ I was blown away by this, what a most delightful, romantic image you have portrayed..thanks Tracie~ Love is the life of the soul... It is the harmony of the universe |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Richard- WOW!!! This is incredible! So powerful it gave me goosebumps. Extremely welldone. -vicky P.S. a HUGE "THANK YOU" to Marge for drawing this one to my attention.  < !signature--> "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 10-01-2000).] |
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juliet_2u Senior Member
since 2000-07-23
Posts 1125North Carolina |
Wow Richard this is incredible. I'm just in total awe. And welcome to Passions |
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Tears_of_Grace Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 50 |
Wow, this is really cool! I enjoyed it Richard, can't wait to read more of your work. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
"They kissed." Nicely woven words of Love...James |
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Alicat Member Elite
since 1999-05-23
Posts 4094Coastal Texas |
Forgive the semantical twist, but very impacting with a definate powerful punch. Beautiful imagery and structure, Richard. Me likes mucho.  |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
Richard Marge asked me to read this one as she thought that I would like it, and she was right. This was awesome. Your imagery and your play of words just kept me reading from line to line. I agree with Mark B. Your muse must have been sent from heaven. Garfield |
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Richard Brooks Junior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 17Richardson, TX |
I had to reload electrons in my computer so was off over the weekend. I was surprised and please to have such a warm response to my poem upon my return. Melissa, Kethry, Martie, Tracie, Juliet_2u, Tears_of_Grace, James, Garfield; Thank you. I am humbled. That I was able to touch ya'll with my words and images is moving. My passions are her love and space. I tried to meld the two together. I'm glad ya'll enjoyed it. Amy, tis fortunate for I have only begun to share. Serenity, Chills, huh. Perhaps you've been touched by the comet's tail. And thanks mom! Ellie, I'd be please to bind it over for others to see. Vicky, Thanks. It still moves me when I read it. I think its because I know what the writer was feeling when he put light to screen. Alicat, You're forgiven, twist on. Thanks. Janet Marie, Kit, Mark, I have found that, sometimes, when I put ink to paper what starts out as a thought grows quickly, almost faster than I can write. These times of free-flowing thought are my better works. IMHO Though I paint an image I see, everyone sees something a little different. Art imitates life. I've tried to tell the story of my love for a very special woman in my life and our recent reconnection. We've loved each other over the years but, like the comet, drifted apart for awhile. Whether life will imitate art remains to be seen, but I believe it will. She is one inspiring and motivating muse. Truly heaven sent. She's my angel. Marge, How can I thank you. You have given me very high praise by introducing others to my words. Thank you. |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Sir, a kind and gentle lady paused a moment, gave this breath, and shared it with me. I've just now taken the opportunity to see the spirit with which you write, and thank the spirit from which this was sent to me. It speaks fervently of a vision. I will enjoy your stay at Passions. Welcome to this world of gifts. Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Richard Brooks Junior Member
since 2000-08-01
Posts 17Richardson, TX |
Sunshine, Thank you kind lady and the gentle company you keep. Richard |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Richard, indeed you've woven a masterpiece... Coco |
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Gemini Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203Wisconsin, USA |
Richard-Fantastic imagery, I liked very much, I will definately mark this one to come back to again and again. |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
Oh I like this its very good Sometimes you have to let go and move on, But never let go of the memories. |
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Corinne Member Ascendant
since 1999-10-28
Posts 5167state of confusion |
fabulous work - enjoyed it thoroughly! Corinne |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Richard This is superb writing Very unique and original theme And a captivating read Well done! Liz |
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