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Open Poetry #10
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These City Lights
| Open Poetry #10 |
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These City Lights |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Damn these city lights... keeping me awake at night... forcing me to stare at these four walls. I hear the traffic going by and tightly close my eyes... pretending I'm not really in this room at all. 'Cause in my mind... it's a lazy southern night. You and I are makin' love beneath the stars above... bathed in pale moonlight. Stretched out upon the grass... the cool dew upon our backs. For a moment I forget about the stiff white sheets and the fact that I'm alone. In my mind... I see the leaves blow in the breeze. I feel your skin beneath my palm and I hear your heavy breathing like a sultry summer song. Down your face the sweat does roll from a passionate loss of control... For a second I act as if... the sticky heat is not caused by the broken fan above my bed. As I close my eyes... I can feel your body's weight and it's so easy to believe that you are really here with me. I feel your gasping breath... hear you whisper in my ear... and I hold you so very near. I smell the lilacs in full bloom. Reality comes blaring in... as a car blows its horn just outside my third story window. I must admit to myself that the lilacs I smell is a candle I bought at the shop-n-go. I open my eyes and the vision is gone. The same four walls are still here. A broken fan above my head. Stiff white sheets. Another lonely night... Damn these city lights. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Stacy - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wesley the Blue Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 426Forest Lake, MN, USA |
Yeah, damn those city lights. Well, not realy the city lights, but the whole missing someone else part. I liked your poem alot. Great work. Keith Even in the darkest night, someone will be there holding a candle for you. |
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ggrn3 Member
since 2000-08-17
Posts 433Nahunta Georgia U.S. |
T.Angel Is Nashville so bad. Go ahead and fantasize about that greek god in your dreams. If you keep fantasizing, I'll bet that stiff sheets will not only be wet from sweat.  (((OOOpppsss))) I'm sorry if this is on the vulgar side. It just seems you were heading that way plus it's late at night, maybe my computer screen is too bright(softly laughing).  By the way, totally awesome poem. You did an excellent job with this gem. Garfield |
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Ethan Halo Senior Member
since 2000-04-28
Posts 793on the roof again |
what a descriptive piece of work! filled with not only wonderful imagery, but things that appealed to so many senses. the humor gave it that well-rounded touch too. "I must admit to myself that the lilacs I smell is a candle I bought at the shop-n-go." "For a second I act as if... the sticky heat is not caused by the broken fan above my bed." i liked those lines the best. great work. i remember keepin myself up with thoughts like these. but i watch the city lights lookin for a kind of peace. good luck, TA. "And yesterday went by so quick it seems like it was just a day." |
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melroseg Junior Member
since 2000-09-29
Posts 16 |
Very good poem. I think we all use this kind of fantasy to escape the reality once in a while. (at least I know I do) I love the imagery, I could practically see your thoughts. Melissa |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~Oh I know what you mean...I live on a major intersection that has 24 hour traffic...It can be down right annoying...Anyway I loved this read...Very very enjoyable!!~ ~Cherie~ |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is just full of longing and sadness and ache...nice nice writing here! You really painted the atmosphere with this piece. |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
'Cause in my mind... it's a lazy southern night. You and I are makin' love beneath the stars above... bathed in pale moonlight. Stretched out upon the grass... the cool dew upon our backs. I'll take two of the above. This is one power packed piece of penning...I too know what it is like to give up the quiet country life to the BIG city as they say and all the damn noise would drive anyone insane....don't believe me...just go walk around the block and count how many people are talking to the walls or shadows. Excellent write and nice to see you peeking in once in awhile. |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Keith -- Thank you so much for your kind response. I'm glad you enjoyed this piece. Garfield -- You're makin' me blush here. I wasn't exactly going for vulgar. lol I was going for sensual,but I guess I must have took a major wrong turn somewhere. Thanks for your wondeful response. Ethan -- Thank you so much for the praise filled response. As a big fan of your work, it really means a lot. Melissa -- A little fantasy never hurt anyone, as long as you can bring yourself back to reality by morning! Thanks for stopping to read and respond. Beth -- Thanks a bunch for reading and for such a lovely compliment. Serenity -- Thank you so much for taking the time to read my work! I love your poetry! Mark -- I peek in here quite a bit, just don't have a lot of time to write or respond. There's something about a quiet country night that the city just can't match. Thanks a bunch! |
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snowpants Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061KS |
I love your style! What I wouldn't do to have a few "quiet" nights in the country and get away from cars flying down what is supposed to be a 25 mph zone!! Great write!! Loved it!! sp  |
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Tennessee Angel Senior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 661Tennessee |
Hey there snowpants! Thanks for droppin' by with such a nice response! There's nothin' like a southern summer night. Wouldn't trade 'em for anything. --You can either take me as I am...or you can watch me as I go.-- |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
Well my friend. . . there's something to be said for City Lights. . . but that's why I have blinds!! This is an excellent poem. . .and I'm sure that you would like them better if you could just seem then differently. . . Wonderful. . . ------------------------------------------------------- That which gives light must endure burning --Victor Frankl |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
damn this city full stop... I know the feeling, I am adapting but I do miss the quietness of the country side. well written piece, enjoyed this one a lot "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Tears_of_Grace Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 50 |
You wrote with very powerful emotion I really liked it. Time to board up those windows and keep the lights out to keep the dreams going. |
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