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Open Poetry #10
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Labor of love
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Labor of love |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa 
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Labor of love I saw stars and my world dissolved, The burning of reality, That only you can impart, Transfixed by your eyes, We mirror in our dance, Leather upon skin, My legs weak, from your assertion, My hands thrown up in fervent prayer, Too Late. You catch me and I am lost, I hit the canvas, And all is black. Olias. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Mick Yates - All Rights Reserved | |||
SEA 
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
ohhhhhh I like this..........  -SEA |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Read this several times.....I think what I enjoy most about it is your ability to leave the reader with just enough mystery to leave them pondering.......an excellent skill. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Transfixed by your eyes, We mirror in our dance, Leather upon skin, My legs weak, from your assertion, My hands thrown up in fervent prayer, Too Late. You catch me and I am lost, ============== Olias I love this ones mystic, cryptic essence. excellent emotive draw here "The burning of reality, That only you can impart," what a way cool line that is...very cool indeed take care jm "What the caterpillar calls the end ... The world calls a butterfly" Lao Tze Tao ~Butterflies are meant to be free~ |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Olias...yes...wonderful...am I reading what you are saying? You leave me guessing...I like that |
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Aimster Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297Charlotte, NC |
Olias-- this was WAY cool! Loved the entire piece. I won't quote just one line because I loved the whole darn thing. Excellent write. Take care. ~amy~ |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Sorry Its taken so long for me to reply, my life had a puncture. SEA, I was a little worried wether this worked or not, but I pressed on regardless. Thanks for your reply. Dreamkeeper, Thank you, the hardest thing was not trying to give to much away in only a few lines, Glad you enjoyed it. J.M. Hi, J.M. I didnt want to give anything away even in the title and I tried to use a kind of intimacy, if you have ever been in the ring (and I'm guessing you haven't) its very strange win or lose the kind of respect and bond you have for your opponent. Thanks for your kind words. Paula, My purpose was to make this a little ambiguous to begin with, and to lead people away from the fact that this is about a knockout. I'm glad you liked it thanks for replying. Regards to you all Olias. |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Aimster, Thanks for your kind words, I'm glad you liked it, take care. Regards, Olias. |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Olias... Beautiful in all ways... Love is but a dance...  Follow your dream! |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Sunny1, Thank you for your kind response, I'm glad you enjoyed it, my problem is I've never been a very good dancer Take care, Olias |
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Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
I loved it M ...great short piece also one of your replies had me laughing "my life had a puncture" ... lol..can i use that?  Philip PS hey you don't want to use "labor" they might get the idea they are spelling it right and us wrong  |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Hi Philip, Thanks for the response, I have to use a translation for our colonial brethren. you can use the puncture, because now I'm most definatly flat.  Regards M. |
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Tiersdin Member Elite
since 2000-11-17
Posts 2364east coast |
enjoyed this! -Tier |
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OLIAS Senior Member
since 2000-06-20
Posts 1090Pearl city Iowa |
Tier, Glad you liked. thanks for responding. Regards, Olias |
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