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Open Poetry #10
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snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS

0 posted 2000-11-15 05:00 PM


The way
You look into a puddle
To determine
If it’s still raining,
Look into my eyes--
You’ll see
How I still love you.
The storm still rages
Within;
The rain clouds
Continue to gather.
There’s no end in sight.
Everything falls apart
Around me--
Yet it all stays in place
As I lose my patience
With you.



I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

© Copyright 2000 snowpants - All Rights Reserved
Daniel J D
Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471
Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia
1 posted 2000-11-15 06:15 PM


Snowpants,
No do not lose your patience. Keep working hard and the end result will always be worth the effort.

Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love
(Daniel J D)

Interloper
Deputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Rara Avis
since 2000-11-06
Posts 8369
Deep in the heart
2 posted 2000-11-15 06:26 PM


Well done.  One of the fruits of the Spirit is long-suffering.
Hang in there.

Live for love. Without love, you don't live.


Lone Wolf
Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842
Lansing, MI USA
3 posted 2000-11-16 12:48 PM


sp,

Be strong my friend and do not give into the storm within.  The love you possess is stronger yet.  You just have to have faith.  Best of luck to you.  

LW


Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats

Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
4 posted 2000-11-16 02:45 AM


sp...sorry but I think there are times you need to lose patience...to tell them...its NOW...now or never...love shouldnt be made to wait...
Aimster
Member Elite
since 2000-02-19
Posts 4297
Charlotte, NC
5 posted 2000-11-16 10:42 AM


kris-
i agree with Paula. I think that if
someone truly loves someone, then it
will be...and if not then sometimes we
have to move on and carry on with our
lives even though it is very hard. i know
you, and i've seen the strength of
character you possess. you are a fighter
and have a beautiful heart. you are also
a wonderful friend, so i am sure that
you are a wonderful lover as well. i wish
you the best of luck in this. know that i
am here for you and if ever you need to
ô¿ô feel free. my "door" is always open.
take care.
~amy~

Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

6 posted 2000-11-16 01:56 PM


The way
You look into a puddle
To determine
If it’s still raining,
Look into my eyes--
You’ll see
How I still love you.
The storm still rages
Within;
===========
SP...this is EXCELLENT!!!
what a cool use of metaphor here...
and so much impact and emotion spoken in a few well chosen words...
very well written...
and the truth found in those last lines
is profound ...
we get stronger as we live it.. and as we write it out ...
take care
jm


"What the caterpillar calls the end ...
The world calls a butterfly"
Lao Tze Tao

~Butterflies are meant to be free~


SEA
Deputy Moderator 10 ToursDeputy Moderator 5 Tours
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676
with you
7 posted 2000-11-16 02:03 PM


SP~ this is perfection! I love this, I'm feeling this way myself. Excellent write.   -SEA
peppermint35
Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106
Texas, USA
8 posted 2000-11-16 03:18 PM


Great work here, definitely!!!  I say, let the storm rage!!!  I definitely agree that patience is a virtue.....but there are times when you should just let go and take a stand!!!

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

snowpants
Member Elite
since 2000-09-16
Posts 2061
KS
9 posted 2000-11-16 06:39 PM


Daniel:  thank you, my friend, for your thoughts and stopping by!!  

Interloper:  yes, I know!     Thanks!!

LW:  thanks!  I'm trying, I'm definitely trying!!  

Paula:  thank you!  I am so glad you said that!  

Amy:  you are a wonderful friend, girlie!  Thank you for your encouraging words, as they are needed always, especially today!  Love ya!     ô¿ô

JM:  wow!  Thank you for your kind reply!  I am so glad you liked it!!  

SEA:  perfection, eh?  thank you so much!  

pepper:  thank you, my friend.  you are right.  patience is a virtue, if the right time!     I appreciate your thoughtful reply!!  

sp

I won't go, I won't sleep, I can't breathe until you're resting here with me...

passing shadows
Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577
displaced
10 posted 2004-04-18 08:47 PM


wow...very good write
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