Open Poetry #10 |
Lil Rose |
Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
In the grace of lambent light he watches her body move her shadow ..her eyes..her lips the curve of her shapely hips she sits in the corner alone in lambent light of the room within mirrors and the smoke and scent of sweet perfume he smiles and says "hello" she shyly says "i have to go" the cocktail waiter winks "I think her name is Rose" "her mother use to dance here and drink and smoke and cuss and leave lil Rose in the corner with dirty glasses and cigar butts she loved all the flirting men and stayed up after hours lil Rose slept in the back always sweet as a flower after her mother died she didnt even cry but she comes here every night im not quite sure why?" A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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© Copyright 2000 Victoria - All Rights Reserved | |||
JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
Very nice Victoria...I met her once and oh how she loved her mom...James |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
That's sad stuff you got going here... I think her mother should have been removed from lil Rose long before such an impression could taint her mind...however, this is real life writing and the story whether concocted or true should be told....great idea Victoria....keep up the good work....ethome |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
thank you James and ethome..appreciate your comments very much.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
Victoria, I knew a "Lil Rose", just like you portrayed. She was a very tragic little person. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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Sunnyone Member Ascendant
since 2000-07-06
Posts 5334Staffordshire, England |
Victoria....... After playing music in bars all over the West Coast, I think I have seen lil' Rose in about all of them. It's tragic, but you've penned it better than any one else ever could. This has to be my favorite......it's just so familiar. Follow your dream! |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Thank you JD and Sunny.. not sure where this sad poem came from ..i just started writing one day about Lil Rose..appreciate your comments though... ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
This really got to me. I believe every Rose needs a mother she can be proud of. Sad to say, some aren't. I hate to think of where i would be had I not had the best one anyone could have.< !signature--> "When red-haired girls scamper like roses over the rain-green grass, and the sun drips honey."" Laurie Lee Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 11-14-2000).] |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
Thank you for peeking in Kathleen.Yes a shame some are not blessed with a loving mother. HUGS ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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BSC
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-02-04
Posts 2919New York, USA |
So sad Victoria ~ It's such a shame so many little ones do live this way. You have penned this tale beautifully. Bonnie |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
yes.. i guess there are alot of lil roses in the world..thank you for reading Bonnie..appreciate you peeking in.. ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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LoveBug
Moderator
Member Elite
since 2000-01-08
Posts 4697 |
Victoria, this is such a sad piece. It's awful to think that little children grow up like that. You've done some wonderful storytelling, however. False gems may shine as brightly as the genuine article, but there are always those who can tell the difference. |
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vandana
since 1999-10-22
Posts 10463USA |
ENJOY THE READ!!!!!!! |
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dragonpoe Senior Member
since 2000-11-12
Posts 608Palm Bay, Florida |
What a touching story, and written well. With the word, I am mighty, with the pen I am free.. dragonpoe |
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Victoria
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869 |
lovebug..thank you and im glad you enjoyed. vandana..thank you vandana..and for stopping by.. dragonpoe ..thanks for peeking in today.. Appreciate all your comments ~Victoria~ A poem is never finished, only abandoned. - Paul Valery (1871-1945) |
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