Shivering Surfaces [free verse challange] Martie..? how 'bout you Liz..?

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lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

0 posted 2000-11-14 02:15 AM

morning rains glittering
light bouncing diamond sparkles
off walls of my solitary dream curtains
fluttered to an unheard waltz paired to
honor such occasion the touching
a melody the rain softly taps
changing beats of my
anxious rhythm
she twirled
past my
high
lining
broken sky
her dewy beads rolled

slowly o'er window’s pane embracing
flushes of warmth mingling within a muffled
sigh as an excited drop leaps o’er an open cry
covering her need’s ledge with desire weds
stares where lovers sweet pledge the

notion of care silhouettes’
laugh while smiling
sings the rain
dripping over
everything my plan
dancing to greet her flames

tapping on lusty glass she rings to
musical ears while laced songs are
whispered with slipping cries of
other things... rain touches
face to glass together
is love at its
best

Martie, RJ helped out alot on this one you really ought to have a little mercy on me. You know I'm getting a wee bit old for such playfulness. Where do you gals come up with all the energy..?

The free verse artist.

< !signature-->

Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am.
To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight.
-Marge Tindal

[This message has been edited by lucky (edited 11-14-2000).]

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

1 posted 2000-11-14 02:52 AM

That looks so cool! I almost forgot to read it and just watched the words form a shape...a geometric shape, mind you, cuz I thought it was so cool!

lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

2 posted 2000-11-14 03:50 AM

Intruder,
Thanks... The art comes as the wind and just as easy. The words tell a story that's a little harder to bring. If your interested... Check our site. I have alot there... Grab some ideas. Thanks friend.

Lucky, dale

< !signature-->

Writing isn't just something I do, it's something I am.
To write of feelings that touch all hearts in some manner is my delight.
-Marge Tindal

[This message has been edited by lucky (edited 11-14-2000).]

Sudhir Iyer
Member Ascendant

since 2000-04-26

Posts 6943
Mumbai, India : now in Belgium

3 posted 2000-11-14 04:57 AM

Ah! This is fantastic, complete with great images and what a form...

regards,
Sudhir

lucky
Senior Member

since 2000-01-17

Posts 1601
Idaho

4 posted 2000-11-14 10:27 AM

Sudhir,
thanks, I guess everybody is challanged out these daz... or asleep.
dale

Rosemary J. Gwaltney
Senior Member

since 1999-08-26

Posts 997
northern mountains, Idaho

5 posted 2000-11-14 12:16 PM

I am out in yearning space with this one - wants to make me crawl into bed with you - have for thirty eight years now. Your ending is magnificent - "whispered with slipping cries of other things... rain touches face to glass together is love at its best" - OH, man, honey, I love you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes I read into your poetry what might not be me - but then, it might be - and certainly could be. Forgive me, my sweetheart, for my dreaming... XOXOXO

Wilfred Yeats
Member Elite

since 2000-08-04

Posts 2704
Wilmington, Delaware

6 posted 2000-11-15 11:14 PM

My Oh My - when you choose to get serious - you do it in spades - this one is waay tooo good to be ignored. 5 *'s at the very least!

Martie

Moderator

Member Empyrean

since 1999-09-21

Posts 28049
California

7 posted 2000-11-15 11:28 PM

lucky, my friend...I am already challanged..daily..this poem is very very love it and the sky descends and drapes over the window her dark cover...and I am warm.

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