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Open Poetry #10
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Things fall apart
| Open Poetry #10 |
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Things fall apart |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland 
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It is in the silence that we uncover madness, the last words are never enough to explain. Under microscope I search through doubts and faults tearing apart each syllable for clues, that haunting chime of "I love you" is still not enough to justify your absence. Stomach tightens, tongue tied, picking up the receiver, dial the number, pray not for an intrusion or stranger confrontation. A deep sigh of relief when your familiar warmth speaks. Lost in the raptures of your voice when you say "things have fallen apart." I am holding you close now weeping in this saddest moment, if only if only I was there not here hanging dumbly on to the line. Fault lines crack as you say you may drift away forever. Things fall apart……. My heart grows to weary lead. Your words played constant, the grim loop will not silence. I close into mourning, curled up Joy Division blaring "A legacy so far removed* One day will be improved Eternal rights we left behind We were the better kind Two the same - set free too I always looked to you --" Tensions rising in the breaking of dawn, I return to face the searing realities, praying that now you could promise to stay at least allow me to nurse the pain. Things fall apart sometimes but in the ashes we build paths into glorious territories unknown, The journey is never easy but with each step I hold you close to me. Things fall apart, worlds collapse… but our priceless treasures they can not take. ============================================== *Lyrics taken from A Means to an End by Joy Division (Ian Curtis). A personal note, Joy Division are a great band to listen to while in a depressive slump. Can't really describe the music... mechnical industrial sounding snyth rock. very haunting sombre stuff. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith [This message has been edited by brian madden (edited 09-23-2000).] |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Even in depressed slumps, you bring us along to places we've been, places we're going to...glad to see you back from what I thought was going to be a long hiatus... Karilea When you want to be loved, look within...KRJ |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
So glad to see you back with us. Depression stages of our lives I think are the safety nets that remind us we are human. The trick is to learn to wine and dine it but also know when to send it packing. Dealing with it in our own little way and yours seems to be quite unique as you are yourself. Wonderfully written and as I said so nice to see your name hear. |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
Karilea, thank you...blushing here phew..you are too kind... I was also planning for a long poetry drought but certain factors in my life have happened which have put things into focus and perspective and the words just flowed out. I have a new muse now who is inspiring many things in me both poetic and otherwise. I have college next week so I will be forced to leave when inspiration hits I will have my pen ready. Mark, I am beginning to realise how much of an effect one special person can have on my life and how important that person is and how there is a powerful connection joining our two souls. So in essense we share the same trials the same faiths. Thank you for your thoughts and wonderful reply. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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WhtDove Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-22
Posts 9245Illinois |
It is in the silence that we uncover madness, the last words are never enough to explain. These words are so true! Whatever your inspiration, I hope it sticks around  Brian you've done a great job with all these emotions here! <*\\\>< I know not what the future holds, but I know Who holds the future. |
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serenity blaze Member Empyrean
since 2000-02-02
Posts 27738 |
This is just stunning, brian...it is poignant and sad, and so lonely in its pain. I think you just broke my heart. |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
great title!! excellent phrases here: "It is in the silence that we uncover madness" "fault lines crack" "eternal rights we left behind" a poignant piece... i think i'll go listen to some chopin (does the same for me)... i actually have several choices for my depressive states and why it helps, i don't know, because i've been told. "turn that off, it's making you cry and it's making it worse"... but i think letting it all out and feeling every iota of pain is healthy. ((hugs)) thanks for sharing this one...  ~ all you can really ever expect out of life is a sincere apology and some decent poetry ~ |
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Irish Rose Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263 |
"The journey is never easy" Brian, it's so good to see you here, and this line is so meaningful. The entire piece was written with deep emotion. Please continue to post, your work is appreciated, I know I certainly appreciat it, I find that sometimes only being able to post one now and then means so much, because quality is better than quantity and you certainly have quality in your words. < !signature--> Kathleen [This message has been edited by Irish Rose (edited 09-23-2000).] |
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Janet Marie Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554 |
Things fall apart sometimes but in the ashes we build paths into glorious territories unknown, The journey is never easy but with each step I hold you close to me. Things fall apart, worlds collapse… but our priceless treasures they can not take. ===================== your learing my grasshopper..your learning... and its just a sad but poetic fact of life.. we LEARN ALL OUR HEART'S LESSONS the HARD way.. but those will be the ones that make us or break us.. and hopefully inspire great things in us... as this poem shows of you... one day at a time Bri-gator... one verse at a time too thinking of you eve |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
brian,well i think this was a simple yet powerful read.i felt much for the character and in my humble opinion, i like the way your poetic muse is evolving gd luck in college and keep those poems coming all right |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
WhtDove, I hope she does stick around as well...thank you for your wonderful response. serenity, sorry to be a heart breaker, did not mean to. I think it is kind of positive "in the ashes we build paths into glorious territories unknown, The journey is never easy but with each step I hold you close to me." things worked out a lot better than I first thought they might, thank god. THanks for reading and replying. doreen, I can't take credit for the "eternal rights we left behind" line, wish I could. Yes it helps to wallow for a while, though you can't get more sombre than Joy division, I guess you could say they are a non stoned version of "The Doors" meets "The Cure". Thanks for your very kind words. Kathleen, it seems just when I put down my pen inspiration hits. Thank you for your very generous words... blushing and I agree I have written one or two weak pieces and posted them just for sake of posting a poem. Jan, thank you thank you thank you... Sensei Eve-a-poet-a-gator. Yes I am learning all about love and that it is not always sunshine but the storms are worth enduring when you face them with someone you love dearly. Kaile, I seem to be loosing my metaphors lately...LOL..thank you for your wonderful comments and concerns. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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passing shadows Member Empyrean
since 1999-08-26
Posts 45577displaced |
things do fall apart, I am seeing it right now in my life. Thanks for the positive-sounding ending there...nicely done. |
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Martie
Moderator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-09-21
Posts 28049California |
Brian--I am always touched by your poetry, but lately you have shown such deep and personal emotional depth...I am so glad you have written this way, for from your feelings come the opening, comes understanding and then release..I have found. Hugs to you, my friend. |
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Paula Finn Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546missouri |
Oh Brian...oh man...you got me crying |
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catalinamoon
since 2000-06-03
Posts 9543The Shores of Alone |
Hi Brian, whew, this had some very heavy moments. (I thought you did not go for love poetry? )Happy to see this from you, and good luck in college. Sandra |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
~Brian....In moments or hours of depression it is always best to hold on to what we know is real...It cant be taken away...It's pure...I hope you are well...Take care my friend!!~ ~Cherie~ |
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brian madden Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 4374ireland |
passing shadows, I am sorry that things are not going well in your life, all I can say is hang in there and have faith, because (as cliched as it may sound) things do get better. THanks for your reply. Martie, thank you so much for your kind response. Yes I have been experiencing some feelings over the past few months. Thank you, and hugs back to you Paula, sorry if I caused tears... I was in tears too when I went through what happened in the poem. Thank you for reading and replying. cat, well as for "not going for love poetry" I usually only draw from what I have experienced, so I have never felt true love until recently. Don't worry I am not gone all soft lol THanks for your reply. Cherie, I never let go, in fact I held tighter but I was worried it would not be enough. I could not bear to lose a loved one. Thank you for your thoughts and reply. "an afixiation a fix on anything the line of life the limb of a tree the hands of he and the promise that s/he is blessed among women". Patti Smith |
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Tears_of_Grace Member
since 2000-07-05
Posts 50 |
I read this through and sat for several moments thinking because it's not often that a writer has the ability to tap into so many hearts. In reading the replies to this poem I saw that I was not alone in this feeling. I wish you well. |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
and i peer above the rubble, and what beauty abounds beyond....this is beautiful brian.. you know..everything..that i have to say. yours, Dawn ~Cherie~ |
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Beth Member
since 2000-07-06
Posts 468WA, Australia |
oops sorry, using cherie's account and forgot to change info.....but its me, not her! sorry! ~Dawn |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Brian, I found this poem in pages behind, and my compliments to you for a great write... And yeah this gurl got some tears in eyes but that's what happens to me when a write is a touching one... Thank you for the read |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
Brian, Coco's fault for bringing this back up {~,^} but it gave me a chance to re-read your work, and this struck me, quote: and I thought "yes, you are..." Hugs, Karilea If I whisper, will you listen?... I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound. KRJ |
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Celeste Senior Member
since 2000-11-11
Posts 597 |
Powerful writing......You reach great depths with this piece of writing. Touched me deeply. I thank you for sharing it. To capture and live a moment is truly living |
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wayoutwalt Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870TEXAS (it's all big) |
have missed reading you mister madden yuh very nice |
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Moon Dust
since 1999-06-11
Posts 2177Skelmersdale, UK |
so sad a lonely, but i like it Sometimes you have to let go and move on, But never let go of the memories. |
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