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to a girl no one cared about
| Open Poetry #10 |
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to a girl no one cared about |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855
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i. she was a fallen angel on earth. her wings were torn, her halo left blood where it fell. her eyes were a charcoal pit. her voice was sonorous stone, a broken knell. her hair was colored fire dust. i fell to her in lust; she told me of hell. she liked to finger the bust of a blind man with his eyes the silent stones of a well. ii. red apple rotted on the ground. worms and defeated head. go to bed. it's better when you're dead. that's what she said. iii. sometimes you can't cry. sometimes you can only lie. sometimes you wish you were the sky -- empty and full of things. the day i stopped caring was much like the day we lost our wings. the day my job took away my time and showed the lack of strings. the day i closed my eyes and said goodbye to her hot stings. |
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Kethry Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-29
Posts 9082Victoria Australia |
bsquirrel, sounds like you need a hug so, *HuGS* to you as many as you need. write on Kethry Why do yesterdays remain and todays pass by ...unnoticed? Rex E. Alford |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Kethry, Thanks. Everyone can use hugs; even when they say they don't. I appreciate it. Mike |
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Rainydays Member
since 2000-10-21
Posts 324 |
"sometimes you wish you were the sky -- empty and full of things." What an enigmatic piece of writing, on the whole. I enjoyed it very much. Rainydays |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Rainydays. Even I'm impressed by the rhymes I thought up for this one. Mike |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Mike~ Another Wowzer !  Let me see - 'her voice was sonorous stone, a broken knell. her hair was colored fire dust. i fell to her in lust; she told me of hell.' I liked this and your internal rhymes are well done. Your depth is impressive. ~*Marge*~ ~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~ [email protected] |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thanks, Marge. Glad you enjoyed. Mike |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Another good one; powerful write Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Mike~ I wish I had something clever to say to this, but I'm at a loss here......just stunned.....as always I love the way you write! -SEA |
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bsquirrel
since 2000-01-03
Posts 7855 |
Thank you. Mike |
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Masked Intruder
Moderator
Senior Member
since 1999-05-23
Posts 1231Near golden sunsets |
some wonderfully terrible imagery you've used! |
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