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Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

0 posted 2000-11-11 02:30 PM

The First Cause regards me with simple eyes
As I bask in awful silence;
Naked in eternal verity.
Job's comforter wraps around my formless mind
Inducing empty fallacies
And constricting my iris to total blackness.
Supple wonder pulls at the depths of my discord,
Loosening twines of distrust and misconception.
Doubt and vacillation fall aside
As light is reclaimed by newborn eyes.
The First Cause regards me with simple eyes
As I bask in given rapture,
Held by maternal arms;
Oblivious of my past.

Even with a lot of imagination, does it make the story less true?

wayoutwalt
Member Elite

since 1999-06-22

Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)

1 posted 2000-11-11 02:33 PM

it reminds me of a babe bein born yuh very nice

doreen peri
Member Elite

since 1999-05-25

Posts 3812
Virginia

2 posted 2000-11-11 04:42 PM

quote:
Job's comforter wraps around my formless mind
Inducing empty fallacies
And constricting my iris to total blackness.
Supple wonder pulls at the depths of my discord,
Loosening twines of distrust and misconception.

god,you're good... and here's a 3-letter-word for ya.... wowowowowow... wait!! that had too many letters... just a reflection of my rebirth, i guess... thanks for coming back to passions... nice to see you, you little raccoon you

Nan

Administrator

Member Seraphic

since 1999-05-20

Posts 21191
Cape Cod Massachusetts USA

3 posted 2000-11-12 06:07 PM

Geesh, Philip - You've got a metaphor in just about every line here... Pretty darned good, I'd say..

Masked Intruder

Moderator

Senior Member

since 1999-05-23

Posts 1231
Near golden sunsets

4 posted 2000-11-12 08:10 PM

wow-
kind of just like that.  only reincarnated would be a better word for it in this case.

doreen-
not that i like to call myself god...but thanks.  *grins*

Nan-
Was about a year and a half, maybe two years ago when I posted this one for the Guess the Poet contest.  Nobody thought I could write this.  *grins*  Maybe it's because I never wrote about religion beforehand, but I think it was the new style.  And, I still prefer to use the heavy worded free verse.  Thanks for all your help pushing me along from the beginning.

Poeminister
Senior Member

since 2000-02-26

Posts 1862
Regina SK; Canada

5 posted 2000-11-12 08:23 PM

Masked Intruder,

I'm not very religious as far as the bible goes-i couldn't tell someday a jot about the First Cause- but the power of the words, the way you've crafted this poem is magnificent. Wonderfully written.

take care
-Poeminister

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