Open Poetry #10 |
'...time'... |
vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
'...time'... it's all she asks while attempting to fluff the pillow of her tired wounded heart you squeezed too tightly- smothering...crippling her soul desperate gasps as she catches her breath step back- don't move too close lest you steal her oxygen- her life trust... for soon enough she will find her way back to the comfort of your safe and loving embrace '...time'... and you wait as the days tick...slowly...by -vlraynes "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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© Copyright 2000 Vicky L. Raynes - All Rights Reserved | |||
inot2B Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205Arkansas |
I hope there is enough time for her. Your words run deep. |
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SEA
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 2000-01-18
Posts 22676with you |
Sometimes there isn't enough time.....sometimes there isn't enough distance..... I guess I felt this from a different point of view...loved it -SEA |
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Marge Tindal
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384Florida's Foreverly Shores |
Vicky~ Time isn't always so much to ask ... but it sometimes becomes too precious a commodity for the person waiting. This piece is written with a poignancy that can be felt from different views. You've penned a ponder. Well done, friend. ~*Marge*~ |
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kcsgrandma Senior Member
since 2000-09-24
Posts 1522Presque Isle, ME |
You've made a good case for time, but it is so relative. When you are in love, every second apart is an eternity, and a day together is but a moment. Makes it hard to know how much time is enough, doesn't it? To love another person is to see the face of God. - Les Miserables Marilyn |
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dgvarner Member Elite
since 2000-05-13
Posts 3552High Springs, Florida |
hmm..this i'm liking very much tricks.. this ..hmm..well..the words have derailed...but i truly got lost in the words of this one..it spoke my own heart....hey, you didnt write this from MY heart did ya?? LOL no really..i like this a lot..very deep stuff here tricks.. '...time'... it's all she asks while attempting to fluff the pillow of her tired wounded heart you squeezed too tightly- smothering...crippling her soul wow... "i could hide out under there...i just made you say 'underwear'...i could leave but i'll just stay--all my stuff's here anyway..." |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
inot2B- i believe there will be. thanks for reading...glad you like. SEA- interesting you should say that...this actually started out in one direction and kind of changed on me in mid-write. so, i also see it from multiple angles. glad you enjoyed. Marge- yes...as i said to SEA...this kind of wrote itself from many different directions... glad you've found it to be something to ponder. hugs to you, my friend. Marilyn- you speak the truth...and speak it well. thanks so much for dropping in... glad you enjoyed. dg- lol...YOUR heart...well...kinda... but in the process, i wrote my own heart as well...go figure...lol. thanks for the 'wow'...***big smiles*** you KNOW that means alot to me. thanks all, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Definitely thought provoking....I enjoyed the read Pepper "A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth." Percy Bysshe Shelley |
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CocoBaci Member Elite
since 2000-05-06
Posts 3043 |
Viraynes, the big 'T' .... time Yup, I like this poem much much much... A splendid write by the way! Coco |
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Mark Bohannan Member Rara Avis
since 2000-06-21
Posts 7269In the winds of Cherokee song |
With time being eternal then time given chance may or may not be the consideration in all of this but timing instead. Tis not the waiting but the knowing when the waiting is done. Wonderful penning my sweet friend. Hugs to ya and a kiss to make you smile. |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
pepper- glad you found this thought provoking. thanks for reading. Coco- thanks so much... your kind words are greatly appreciated. glad you enjoyed. Mark- ...and the cowboy goes philosophical.. i believe you could be right, my sweet friend...timing can be everything... you have made me smile with your thoughtful reply...the hugs and kisses are a bonus. thanks so much, sweet cowboy. your words always touch my heart.. hugs and a kiss back to you. thanks to all, -vicky < !signature--> "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes [This message has been edited by vlraynes (edited 11-12-2000).] |
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Lone Wolf Member Ascendant
since 2000-03-16
Posts 5842Lansing, MI USA |
Vicky, There is much truth to these words. Sometimes even the best of intentions can cause hurt, but give a little space and you may be amazed at what happens. Well written. LW Poetry should surprise by fine excess...it should strike the reader as a wording of his own highest thoughts and appear almost a remembrance. -J.Keats |
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Daniel J D Senior Member
since 2000-10-01
Posts 1471Hillcrest, Queensland, Australia |
vlraynes, Well done! Time ... we all know the implications of its offerings. Respond to my call and let the waves of my heart fill your life with the wonders of love (Daniel J D) |
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vlraynes Member Rara Avis
since 2000-07-25
Posts 8229Somewhere... out there... |
Lone Wolf- you are very right, my friend. often time and space can be very positive things even though they can initially cause pain. thank you so much...really glad you enjoyed this. Daniel- yes...time can be a positive thing or a negative thing...depending on the situation, and how it is handled. thanks so much for the thoughtful words. hugs, -vicky "...until you have read the verse on his heart, you have not truely met the poet." -vlraynes |
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