you're not alone, good looking

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Open Poetry #10

you're not alone, good looking

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

0 posted 2000-11-09 01:05 AM

hair fallen, eyes behind glass.
strands away. practice a smile.
hello, good looking. smile big.
will she see me? why did she leave me?
who stares through the mirror on what side?
okay, this time, please, tonight.
i shouldn't sing pain so loud. the neighbors will complain.
if i could only grow a beard ...
not old ... just older.
smile. that's good.
why doesn't anyone see?

That's not me.

serenity blaze
Member Empyrean

since 2000-02-02

Posts 27738

1 posted 2000-11-09 01:22 AM

I think we've all been there in one way or the other. I enjoyed the honesty of this, as I always do with you! And more than a hint of confusion and lonliness...made my heart weep. Hugs, Mike.

Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

2 posted 2000-11-09 08:37 PM

This is sad, but a very good expression of that wishing feeling.

Marge Tindal

Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-06

Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores

3 posted 2000-11-09 08:42 PM

Mike~
This might be sad -
but, damn it's brilliant !

'i shouldn't sing pain so loud. the neighbors will complain.'

If I was going to applaud each significant line
I'd have to copy the entire thing !

You keep singing ... I'll listen.
~*Marge*~

~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

SEA

Moderator

Member Seraphic

since 2000-01-18

Posts 22676
with you

4 posted 2000-11-09 08:46 PM

Mike~ your poetry always rocks, and this is no exception!! Enjoyed this one very much.

-SEA

bsquirrel

Member Rara Avis

since 2000-01-03

Posts 7855

5 posted 2000-11-13 02:41 AM

S'en,
Meant to reply to you sooner, but when I tried to, the computer crashed. Omen?

Glad you enjoyed. I wrote this one for a friend.

Temptress,
You mean longing?

Marge,
You know how to make me smile. Thanks.

SEA,
Thank you, thank you.

Mike

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

6 posted 2000-11-13 02:52 AM

Brilliant write; made for a wonderful read

Pepper
"A poem is the very image of life expressed in its eternal truth."
Percy Bysshe Shelley

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