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Open Poetry #10
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Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA

0 posted 2000-11-08 04:14 PM



I'm tired of those tumultuous rides
That shake and rattle my insides
And make my heart stick in my throat
Like pain without an antidote
Portraying love that can't be found.....
The roller coaster's closing down.

No more to sit upon that seat
And watch the world beneath my feet
Spin uncontrolled before my eyes
As I am held in rapt surprise
While being lifted off the ground.....
The roller coaster's closing down.

There was a time I loved the thrill
Of being carried up the hill,
A skyward trip toward Heaven's door
With promised happiness in store
But, each time that I neared the top,
There came an unexpected drop - - -

Which tore apart my very soul
As I spun down without control
Toward the earth to crash once more
As all my hopes had done before
To leave my sanity unwound.....
The roller coaster's closing down.

So speak to me no more of love
Or thoughts to raise my head above
The clouds in false expectancy
Of things that are not meant for me.
I'll settle for a merry-go-round.....
The roller coaster's closing down.
  

© Copyright 2000 Michael Mack - All Rights Reserved
Irish Rose
Member Patricius
since 2000-04-06
Posts 10263

1 posted 2000-11-08 04:46 PM


The Merry Go Round is much better....if you grab the brass ring  

"When red-haired girls scamper like roses
over the rain-green grass,
and the sun drips honey.""
Laurie Lee

Kathleen



Victoria
Deputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Ascendant
since 2000-08-12
Posts 5869

2 posted 2000-11-08 04:48 PM


i closed it down a few weeks ago haa.
just trying to find the funhouse now  

               ~Victoria~


A poem is never finished, only abandoned.
- Paul Valery (1871-1945)


inot2B
Member Elite
since 2000-09-18
Posts 2205
Arkansas
3 posted 2000-11-08 05:02 PM


I rode the roller coaster a time or two and decided that it was not for me. Give me the merry-go-round I always know it will go round and can see who is riding with me.
Severn
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-07-17
Posts 7704

4 posted 2000-11-08 05:32 PM


Sigh...

Yup.

No more to sit upon that seat
And watch the world beneath my feet
Spin uncontrolled before my eyes
As I am held in rapt surprise
While being lifted off the ground.....
The roller coaster's closing down.

I understand this one all right 'deer!
I like the tone you've used here...it suits the theme.

Fine write my friend...

K

The wind shifts like this:
Like a human without illusions...
This is how the wind shifts:
Like a human, heavy and heavy,
Who does not care.

W.S

doreen peri
Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812
Virginia
5 posted 2000-11-08 06:31 PM


i once went to the county fair
and found the rides they had out there -
while looking for a thrill or two,
i got upon a ride with you.
and there i was, just spinning 'round,
my feet no longer on the ground,
a roller coaster ride, it was,
it felt as if i'd caught a buzz!
my head was flying off my neck
and i just thought, "aw what the heck!?
why not continue on this ride?"
but pretty soon, my heart just sighed
because i couldn't stop the thing!
electric bells began to zing
my insides were all zapped inside!
my god, it was a real FINE ride!  

well, so it was. but that was then.
so, let's get on that ride again???  

Balladeer
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-05
Posts 25505
Ft. Lauderdale, Fl USA
7 posted 2000-11-08 06:41 PM


Rose...I do agree...that brass ring is very important  

Victoria...the fun house! I never thought of that! Let me know when you find it!

inot2B....those are very important points!!  

Kamla...I know you do..change rides and everything will be fine  

wayoutwalt
Member Elite
since 1999-06-22
Posts 4870
TEXAS (it's all big)
8 posted 2000-11-08 07:20 PM


balladeer you got rings of brass go grab em
great job bo likes it lots

Ron K. Fox
Senior Member
since 2000-10-24
Posts 925

9 posted 2000-11-08 07:53 PM


I left my heart and my stomach at the last one. Glad you picked a merry go round..I'm still trapped in the bumper cars.

Tossing words like wishful coins into the deep well of an open heart. R. fox



Janet Marie
Member Laureate
since 2000-01-22
Posts 18554

10 posted 2000-11-08 09:28 PM


me thinks ya got lots a rides left in ya  
cant wait to see your reply to Dor...
we all better take our motion pills now  
later-ride-with-ya-anytime-gator
jm

Gemini
Senior Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 1203
Wisconsin, USA
11 posted 2000-11-08 10:08 PM


Balladeer-This was one of my favorites when I first read it and it still is now.  Penned to perfection.
ethome
Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada
12 posted 2000-11-08 10:14 PM


Time to graduate down to the merry-go-round
where life is under control and you probably won't lose your watch, wallet, dentures etc. I think this is a great fun poem I enjoyed the delivery.....thanks for sharing Balladeer

Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774
Ontario, Canada
13 posted 2000-11-08 10:19 PM


Excellent Michael! What a wonderful way to describe the ups and down and twists and turns of life and love.

Now me? I'm a ride fanatic ... give me the highest and the fastest, with the biggest G-Force you can muster. I even bungie jumped off a tower crane a few years back, and loved every second of it! Great writing Michael, you're ideas never cease to amaze me, loved this!  

Best wishes,
/Kit

Marge Tindal
Deputy Moderator 5 ToursDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 TourDeputy Moderator 1 Tour
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-06
Posts 42384
Florida's Foreverly Shores
14 posted 2000-11-09 05:34 AM


Balladeer~
If the merry-go-round of life spun around
and dropped me in your playground ...
I'd want to play forever !

You are quite the poet, sir.
Your originality is refreshing.
~*Marge*~



~*The pen of the poet never runs out of ink, as long as we breathe.*~
noles1@totcon.com

Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136
Mobile, AL
15 posted 2000-11-09 08:46 PM


Here is wonderful writing, Friend.   One thing...Wouldn't the merry-go-round eventually make you just as sick or dizzy?

Denise
Moderator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-08-22
Posts 22648

16 posted 2000-11-09 08:48 PM


I remember this one! Fantastic writing, Balladeer! The tempo actually gives one that roller coaster feeling!

Denise

Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354
Listening to every heart
17 posted 2000-11-11 11:18 AM


this just had to make another round back up the coaster to the top...that thrill of falling, whether good or bad...can't be stopped...

Karilea
If I whisper, will you listen?...
I would rather be silent and write, then speak loudly and be bound.
KRJ



Paula Finn
Member Ascendant
since 2000-06-17
Posts 5546
missouri
18 posted 2000-11-11 12:10 PM


Hey 'deer...maybe you should try the swings...still that breathless up in the air feeling of flight...but none of the scary drops...cmon I'll swing with you

Don't close your eyes to the possibilities


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